Sunday, May 30, 2004

The Quick and The Dead (1995)

Idea: A female gunfighter (Sharon Stone) returns to her home town to kill the man (Gene Hackman) who stole her childhood. She becomes involved in a tournament with a kid who claims to be his son (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his former partner, Cort (Russell Crowe) who has gone straight.

You know what I think the deal is with westerns? I think they are required by law to be over the top. The same way action movies have to have a certain amount of cheese dialogue. In westerns, it's never a close-up, it's an extreme close-up. It's never just tense, it's DRAMA!, and it comes with its own punctuation. That's how I always feel when I am watching them.

I'm going to be honest with you, straight up, that I watched this movie during my Leonardo DiCaprio phase. You know what? When you are a little girl, you like little girly men. So, being as how I was 12 when I saw it, you are just going to have to cut me some slack. Man, that seems like forever ago. Besides, Stone gave up part of her salary just to keep Dicaprio in it. So there.

This movie was, however, my introduction to Crowe. He is so method. I like it when people are method. I remember watching it for DiCaprio and being all distracted by Crowe. At the time, I was wondering, "Who are you?!", but now I realize his magnetic power. He strikes me as a bit of a drama queen, though.

To be honest, I don't really have anything to say about Stone and Hackman. Oh, Gary Sinise is in the movie for a little while! I love Sinise. He's so good. So good and so underrated.

As for Sam Raimi (director) and Simon Moore (writer), well, Raimi is finally finding his voice, and Moore should probably stifle his. Any one who includes a vacuous blind character deserves a smack. They are just as annoyingly tacked on as the vacuous black man we see so often today. I don't get why people do that.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Benny & Joon (1993)

Brief: Benny (Aidan Quinn) has been caring from his mentally ill sister, Joon (Mary Stuart Masterson), since their parents passed away years ago. Their lives seemingly take a turn for the better when Joon loses a hand of poker and gains the other player’s cousin, Sam (Johnny Depp).

Or, as the tagline puts it: “A romance on the brink of reality.” Oh, taglines. I love taglines. I should get a job writing taglines. I bet that’s a real job.

I really think that Masterson should make more movies. I haven’t seen her in anything in years. Everything that I watch from years ago with her in it (e.g. Fried Green Tomatoes, Bed of Roses, Married to It), I love. She’s so good! Seriously, she has this very winsome way about her that I wish I got to see more.

As for Quinn, I think he’s not getting the props he deserves. When was the last time you heard anything about him? He’s sweet and charming but with a hint of deep-seated emotional issues below the surface. I think that’s what allows him to play villains as well as heroes. Good for him. Diversity is your friend.

Of course, there’s Depp. All I can say is it’s about time he started getting the recognition he deserves as one of America’s greatest actors. He’s a complete chameleon, but one that could charm the cork out of a champagne bottle. It apparently takes 20 years for other people to figure that out.

And then you get Julianne Moore, Oliver Platt, CCH Pounder, William H. Macy, Dan Hedaya, and Joe Grifasi along for the ride. It’s a good time.

To be honest with you, Jeremiah S. Chechik isn’t a very good director. He struggles with what he should make compelling and what he should leave by the wayside. It can make the tale underwhelming if you aren’t prepared to deal with that.

Barry Berman, the writer, has done very little. I don’t really know why. He knows what’s funny and what isn’t, and he’s pretty adept at tugging at your heart strings.

Overall, yes, the movie is sentimental fluff. But it’s good sentimental fluff. The kind you can enjoy over and over again.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

Premise: Two silent film stars, Don Lockwood (Gene Kelly) and Lina Lamont (Jean Hagen), make the transition from silent films to talkies, relying on Don’s strength as a song and dance man. Unfortunately, Lina has a voice that could peel paint. Don’s beautiful and talented girlfriend, Cathy Seldon (Debbie Reynolds), steps in “just this once”. Don’s best friend, Cosmo Brown (Donald O’Connor), does all the music for his movies.

I know, I know, this picture definitely defies the “April doesn’t do classics rule.” But, let’s be honest: how many of you have actually seen this entire movie? And how many of you only know that classic dance and song sequence, “Singin’ in the Rain”? That’s what I thought. (If you haven’t seen that scene, you should check it out. Or Kurt Browning’s version that he did for one of his shows. Even on skates, it’s amazing. Browning did always have the best footwork, anyway.)

The reason I bring this movie up is that it displays a level of showmanship that simply doesn’t exist anymore. Honestly, watching O’Connor go through “Make ‘Em Laugh” or, yes, Kelly “Singin’ in the Rain”, well, that just doesn’t happen anymore. I think the raging success of Chicago represents the public’s desire to return to the glamour and glory of the MGM musical. There’s this scene in Simple Irresistible (a terrible movie) where Sean Patrick Flannery compares the floor of the restaurant he’s creating to an MGM musical. It’s black and white with curvy stripes, kind of like a subdued zebra pattern. He calls it magical. He’s right. MGM musicals were magical.

Directors Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly and writers Betty Comden and Adolph Green made them magical. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I once heard Baz Luhrmann say that a truly good movie takes you out of your seat, inserts you in the film, and, at the end of it, you can take a little piece of it with you. I absolutely believe that. Musicals like this one have a way of floating you out of your life and problems, and, if only for a little while, giving you a sense of pure innocent joy. They’re just so uplifting to watch.

Here’s a fun fact: Reynolds wasn’t even a dancer until Kelly selected her to be in the picture. That’s nuts! She’s so great. And, sadly, she’s the only one of the four I mentioned still alive. Hagen didn’t make that many pictures, but she is probably the most talented one here. It’s a tough one to call, the competition being so stiff.

Today, we get ourselves so caught up in drama, bathroom humour, and convoluted plotlines. Sure, I love new movies as much as classics, and I truly believe that we are, to a certain extent, missing out on something that they held so tightly to back then. I wish I knew how to recapture it.

And about that new link. Gabriel Yared wrote the original score for Troy. Click on the link, then “News”, then “The Score for Troy” to hear extracts from his powerful and moving score. You can also read about what happened with the scores.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

Outline: Allow me to give you the tagline: “For the good of all men, and the love of one woman, he fought to uphold justice by breaking the law.” Oh, too funny. But seriously, Robin of Locksley (Kevin Costner) returns home from the crusades with Azeem (Morgan Freeman), a Moor who must save Robin’s life to repay his debt, to find that his father has been murdered and his home burned. After killing six officers of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Alan Rickman), Robin goes into hiding in Sherwood Forest, where he is befriended by the “outlaws” hiding there and encourages them, as their leader, to rise up against their oppression. Oh, yeah, the girl: Maid Marion (Mary Stuart Mastrantonio).

So, we watched this movie the other day after I was accused of owning too many “girly movies.” Notice that I spelt girly with a ‘y’ not an ‘ie’. Those are different kids of movies. In any case, I didn’t realize that critically acclaimed was a pseudonym for “girly.” Apparently, I am mistaken.

Who cares? This movie is awesome. I’m surprised that I haven’t reviewed it yet. When I first saw it when I was little, I thought it was very scary. Very, very scary. Now that I am older, I realize how very funny it actually is. Serious, this movie is hilarious.

A feat I attribute almost exclusively to the dry British humour of Rickman. Much of the way he plays the character is a caricature of the medieval villain, but he occasionally slips in some subtle delivery that just tortures me when I catch it.

I suppose, technically, I should attribute it to the writers Pen Densham and John Watson. The thing is, though, while the movie is pretty good, the dialogue has times when it’s a little too much. Sure, Rickman seems to relish these moments, and Morgan is a class act that can’t be beat, but some of the other actors flounder in these moments.

By some of the other actors, I pretty much mean Costner. What’s his deal? He’s a lot like Keanu Reeves in my mind. Can he act? I don’t know. Maybe. I see movies where I think he’s really good, but I can’t tell if it’s him or a combination of other factors. Then, I see movies where he seems to really suck, but it’s still the same conundrum as before.

Oh, and Mastrantonio, well, I really don’t like her. She’s whiney, jumpy, screamy, and useless as Maid Marion. I much prefer versions where Marion is a scraper just like Robin. I bet she was, too. She pretty much had to be in a country rife with civil warfare.

I was going to talk about director Kevin Reynolds here, but that’s not half as important as Michael Kamen, the composer. This score is honestly one of the best scores ever written. It’s beautiful and powerful. Who else can write such fantastic oboe and horn parts? Thank you, Kamen, for never relying on only strings and winds to express emotion. Unfortunately for movie goers everywhere, Kamen passed away last year. I, for one, am going to miss him.

Oh, okay, I’ll talk about Reynolds. He’s got a thing for historical fiction, as evidenced by The Count of Monte Cristo and the upcoming Tristan and Isode. His direction is pretty middle of the road. He has a great eye, but he has yet to display the capacity to push his actors to great performances.

You know what? Who in their right mind thinks that a movie with a Bryan Adams song isn’t a girly movie?

Monday, May 24, 2004

Hope Springs (2003)

Short: A depressed artist, Colin (Colin Firth) heads to small-town America to heal his broken heart after his fiancee, Vera (Minnie Driver), leaves him. In Hope, he meets a beautiful young woman, Mandy (Heather Graham).

Hmm. I've been thinking for nearly a day now about how to categorize this movie. It's just sort of flat. Maybe a little stale. I don't know. It never really gets exciting. I took this media theory class, and one of the readings theorized that the tension in a movie/television programme lay in the audience's desire to see the plot continue and the problem to be resolved. I guess you could say that I didn't care one way or the other when I watched this movie. I knew it would be completely resolved by the end of it, so it didn't matter to me how or when it got resolved. In every movie you anticipate the resolution (the movie has to end somehow), but, in this case, there was nothing to compel you to desire it.

A problem that I attribute directly to the writing and directing of Mark Herman. I've never seen anything else that he's done, and, frankly, I don't want to see it now. He basically has the camera sit there, almost as though he's saying, "well, here are some people. Sure is some stuff going on here." It's like watching your friends, only not as interesting or compelling, because you care about your friends.

I don't blame Firth, who is charming, funny, and sexy in this movie, because he does his best to work with what he has been given. Unfortunately, he hasn't been given much.

Also, it's the first movie that I didn't want to hit Graham in the face while watching, but I mostly attribute that to Firth. I bet it's hard to act poorly when he is around.

Oh, and I've always liked Driver. I think she's hilariously catty when she's being cruel.

If I were you, I wouldn't bother with this one. There's no point really. It's based on a book by Charles Webb. I suppose that might be good. Might.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

The Karate Kid (1984)

Plan: After Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) saves him from getting worked over, Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) gets the master to agree to teach him karate. Miyagi teaches him about much more than fighting. Oh, and Daniel has a girlfriend, Ali Mills (Elizabeth Shue).

1984! Can you believe it? That blows my mind! I feel really old now that I have read that.

Here's another fun fact: Macchio was 22 when he made the movie. His character was 16, he looked about 14, but he was 22. That makes the karate kid 43. As if. As if.

John G. Avildsen apparently likes to direct movies where people hit each other. I mean, don't get me wrong, with Rocky to his credit, he does it really well, but doesn't that seem a little weird? I think it's weird. In any case, his direction is a lot of fun, showing that he doesn't take anything (except hitting people) very seriously. It's a good thing in a movie as campy as this one.

As for Robert Mark Kamen, the writer, well, he likes movies where people hit each other as well (e.g. The Transporter and Kiss of the Dragon). His dialogue is a bit over the top when it comes to the cheesy factor. Actually, I really liked Kiss of the Dragon, but that's beside the point.

The point is that Pat is the best part of the movie. I think everyone should know a wise old man like Pat. Pat had all the best lines, and no one else really compares to him in the movie. Okay, maybe Mrs. LaRusso (Randee Heller). She was a pretty cool mom.

Actually, now that I think about it, the song is best part of the movie. Seriously, it goes "You're the best/Around/Nothing's gonna ever keep you down" over and over again. That song is awesome.

So, boiled down, you missed out on your childhood if you are part of my generation and haven't seen this movie. It was on pretty much every Saturday when we were young, and I know there was at least one rainy afternoon where your mom made you stay in. If there wasn't, then you need to pick one to watch it now. You will learn so much.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

Bob Roberts (1992)

Summary: A fictional documentary view of a right wing wall street folk singer, Bob Roberts (Tim Robbins), running for Senate in 1990. A lone leftist reporter, Bugs Raplin (Giancarlo Esposito), seeks to unearth his corruption and connections with the drug trade. Tons of stars show up as various reporters.

So, remember when I was telling you about Cradle Will Rock, and how openly leftist celebrity couple Robbins and Susan Sarandon are? Well, if you have any doubts as to their politcal stripe, check out Robbins' writing and directorial debut. So, so very funny and sad. I find there is at times, especially times like these ones, something very sorrowful about satire. I think the sadness hits when you realize that the only reason the ideas or events the satire shines the spotlight on are entirely true. When the day comes when these things are no longer an exaggeration, you can help but tear up while you are smiling.

In any case, you have to watch this movie if only for the songs that Roberts sings. They kill me. The documentarian (Brian Murray) captures all these people singing along to the most horrifying lyrics. It's truly hilarious.

Robbins and Giancarlo are excellent. I don't know what else could be said about Robbins, and Giancarlo brings new light to a fiery and obsessive reporter.

Plus, I also have a good time going, "Hey! Hey!" every time I recognize someone in a movie. It's a fun game.

I suppose, in the end, it's best to keep abreast of both politics and the satire thereof as they can be equally informative. Sometimes the more the latter than the former.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Angel (1999-2004)

Brief: A centuries old vampire with a soul, Angel (David Boreanaz), leaves his star-crossed lover behind and heads to L.A. to fight the good fight. Along the way he joins forces with Doyle (Glenn Quinn), a half demon who has visions; Cordelia (Charisma Carpenter), whom Doyle passes the visions to before he dies; Wesley (Alexis Denisof), a former watcher turned “rogue demon hunter”; Gunn (J. August Richards), a homeless young man who takes on vampires every night; Lorne (Andy Hallett), a demon who can read people’s future when they sing; and Fred (Amy Archer), a physicist whom Angel rescues from a demon dimension. They spend four seasons fighting the evil law firm of Wolfram & Hart, and the fifth and final season sees them inheriting the firm, as well as another vampire with a soul, Spike (James Marsters).

Okay, if you were thinking for even a second that I wouldn’t comment on the end of one of my favourite shows, you were sorely mistaken. And, yes, for the many of you who did not care for the show, it has ended. There is rumoured to be one or more made-for-TV movie(s) in the works to bring to a conclusion what enfolded last night, and has been unfolding for eight years, but we’ll have to wait and see.

And, no, there is not a problem with my math. We were introduced to Angel in the first episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He was only supposed to stick around for a handful of episodes, but the intense chemistry between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Boreanaz garnered him a more permanent home on the show and, combined with his talent, eventually his own show.

Besides being filled with a truly talented cast, crisp writing, and a unique concept, what made the show so powerful and addictive was the realism of it all. I’m not talking about computer generated imagery, and I’m not saying that I now believe that vampires, demons, werewolves, and witches walk amongst us. What made it so real was that Joss Whedon (creator and gifted writer/director) never tried to convince you that any of it was truly possible. Instead, the show was based around how real people would react if these things were real. In addition, the mythical storyline was often a metaphor for something very real and personal (e.g. When Buffy and Angel have sex for the first time, Angel loses his soul and his love for her with it. This is akin to “I slept with this guy, and now he doesn’t call me any more.”)

And what did this all mean? Character development. Yes, there was usually the big bad that had to be taken down in every episode and for every season, but there were so many underlying issues in the personal lives of the characters that were often juxtaposed with the chaos around them. The decision in seasons three and four to give Angel something that he could never have – a son, Connor (Vincent Kartheiser) - was a stroke of genius. Those two seasons were the best of the show, showcasing incredible growth in both Angel and the rest of the cast. The character that always stands out for me is Wesley, mostly because he was THE BEST!, but also because his character went from being Angel’s most trusted advisor to his bitter enemy (and back again) as we watched all of Wesley’s former friends cut him off one by one. Of course, because someone has to die, Wesley was killed fighting in the final episode.

Also, although I was shocked an appalled at first, killing Fred and placing a powerful demon-goddess, Illyria, in her body turned out to be a great chance to show off Archer’s skill.

So, yes, this season often sacrificed story arcs for stand alone episodes. And the episodes often came across as “What trouble it is to run an evil law firm and try to make it good.” So it goes. Five years is a good run, and the end delivered an emotional wallop.

But I don’t feel like this is the end. Many issues remain unresolved (mostly about Angel and Spike), and a movie could give the show the send-off it deserves.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Down with Love (2003)

Idea: After a journalist assigned to interview her continually blows her off, feminist author Barbara Novak (Renee Zellweger) decides to make her manifesto, Down with Love, a bestseller and refuses swinging investigative reporter Catcher Block (Ewan McGregor) an interview. Then she goes on national television to tell women everywhere that he is the epitome of the man to avoid. Not to be undone by a woman, Catcher hatches a scheme to make Barbara fall in love with him and reveal her hypocrisy to the world. Oh, New York City in 1962.

A throwback to the Rock Hudson/Doris Day romantic comedies of the sixties, the characterization in this movie is top notch. Although this movie is writing team Eve Ahlert and Dennis Drake’s silver screen debut, they sure have done their homework. The movie is littered with all the wit, warmth, and sex appeal Hudson and Day used to infuse their movies with. The two of them working together was charm personified, and they played it to the hilt.

McGregor and Zellweger do their best to bring that campy and comfortable feel back the big screen. McGregor manages to mix in Sean Connery’s James Bond’s devil may care attitude and philandering with Hudson’s confidence and zeal, and the mix is as charming as it is incendiary. Zellweger’s a queen of both comedy and drama, and she does Day better than Day herself because her character isn’t reduced to tears as Day so often was. Unfortunately, their strong performances can’t save the movie from the over-the-top plot twists in the end. Some of them are reasonable and reminiscent of the tangles Hudson and Day used to get themselves into, but, in the end, it’s a little too much.

Peyton Reed’s direction is smooth and showcases the movie’s strong performers, but no direction can aid an ending that convoluted.

Oh, and David Hyde Pierce and Sarah Paulson as Catcher’s and Barbara’s editors, respectively, are delightful.

Plus, McGregor and Zellweger belt out a catchy little ditty at the end. I like it.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Troy (2004)

Premise: Wow, the story of the fall of Troy. Who doesn’t know this? I’ll give it a try. Paris (Orlando Bloom), Prince of Troy, has a steamy affair with Helen (newcomer Diane Kruger), Queen of Sparta, who run away to Troy together. His older brother and heir to the throne, Prince Hector (Eric Bana), chooses to protect his brother even though it will mean war for his country. The King of Sparta, Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson), vows revenge and enlists the help of his brother, Agamemnon (Brian Cox), king of Mycenae. Agamemnon gathers together all the rulers and warriors of ancient Greece, including the wily king of Ithaca, Odysseus (Sean Bean), and the vainglorious Achilles (Brad Pitt).

Or, as Professor Bloedow would say, “Sing, Goddess, of the wrath of the son of Peleus [Achilles].”

Welcome to summer blockbuster season! Yes, it starts in May now. It has since Gladiator opened May 5, 2000.

I’ll tell you in advance that I have been avoiding reading other reviews of this movie until I could form my own opinion and get it out to you. Thus, if something seems familiar in this review, I’m sure it’s possible that other critics have the same opinion as me.

You know that I am a sucker for sweeping epics and historical fiction, so, of course, I was desperate to see Troy from the moment I first read about it. My anxiety and desperation were quickly dispelled by the grandeur and passion of this film.

It isn’t, however, Homer’s The Illiad. Yes, it is the basis, the source of the story, but it is not what you will find there. This film is distinctly Wolfgang Peterson’s (director) and David Benioff’s (writer) Troy.

Peterson is a master in the art of the epic storytelling (e.g. Das Boot and The Perfect Storm). There is a sumptuous magnificence to every shot, as though he breathes life itself into the film. He paces his actors out to strengthen their performances with every line. Truly, truly, he loves making movies.

Benioff’s only previous screenplay is Spike Lee’s 25th Hour. If you have seen that, then you know what I am about to say. 2 words: character development. No single character ends up where s/he began, and Benioff takes you through every single, often painstaking, step. It’s just . . . wow. He did strip the story of its mythological layer, which I will admit I missed, but he included one detail that meant the world to me. At one point, Paris’s thigh is sliced in battle. Mythologically, the cut of the thigh of a male leader symbolizes the death of a nation. That was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Some may argue that Pitt’s Achilles is a bit two dimensional, maybe even a little on the low brow side, but I thought he was spot on. Spot on to the vain, obsessive Achilles that Homer had originally envisioned. And the scene that he shares with the luminous and talented Julie Christie as Achilles’ mother, Thetis, is so telling. And watching the relationship between him and Briseis (Rose Byrne) was hot. They were fantastic together.

When it comes to Bana, can I just say that I want to marry him now? His Hector is so loving and heroic, so compassionate and fierce. Before I thought of Hector only as a warrior and a prince, but now he seems so complex and real to me.

As for Bloom, his star is on the rise. His first battle sends him into a humiliating retreat in front of Helen, and Bloom laps it up. He might, however, want to lay off the summer blockbuster/epic films. At the young age of 27, and only 14 films to his credit, the last thing he needs is to have ‘typecast’ stamped on his forehead.

Costumes, hair, and make-up were also impressive. The women’s dresses did up with two little clips on each shoulder, showing careful research. Those little details mean a lot to me.

James Horner’s score was, well, typical James Horner. A bit over the top at some points, and not at the calibre of Braveheart, but impressive nonetheless.

Oh! And Peter O’Toole as Priam, King of Troy! He was amazing. His love made me cry.

In case it comes up, it’s Men-uh-LAY-us, not Men-uh-LAOWSE. He’s not a country in south-east Asia, people.

I realize that this review is a little on the long side, but I think I’ve mentioned everything I wanted to mention. Go see it! Go see it today – don’t wait for the DVD.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

The Anniversary Party (2001)

Plot: A day in the life of Joe Therrian (Alan Cumming) and Sally Nash (Jennifer Jason Leigh) as they celebrate their sixth anniversary after having been separated for a year and reconciled for about six months. He's a critically acclaimed British author; she's a celebrated actress whose career is on the decline. Their guests are an eclectic collection of celebrities.

Definitely, definitely a hidden gem. Written and directed by the two aforementioned stars, it sparkles with depth and beauty. There's such sincerity to it. I never for a moment doubt that the things that happen to and through these people are possible. Plus, it's the only movie that I haven't found Cumming utterly frightening in. Both of them are so sad and happy and emotional and real.

Of course, an amazing supporting cast helps. There's John Benjamin Hickey, Parker Posey, Phobe Cates, Kevin Kline, Jane Adams, John C. Reilly, Gwyneth Paltrow, Matt Malloy, and Jennifer Beals, just to name a few.

It's almost as though that despite the fact that it has two stars, it is also an ensemble cast. Is that even possible? I guess, to a certain extent, the stars wouldn't make the film so perfectly real if it weren't for the supporting cast. That's the mark of a good supporting cast, in the end: their ability to make their stars shine.

And they do. Brilliantly.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

America’s Sweethearts (2001)

Short: A publicist, Lee Phillips (Billy Crystal), scrambles to get an on-screen/off-screen couple, Gwen Harrison (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and Eddie Thomas (John Cusack), back together in time for the press junket for their latest film after their very public break-up. His only ally is Gwen’s long-suffering assistant and sister, Kiki (Julia Roberts), as he battles the director (Christopher Walken), Gwen’s Spanish lover (Hank Azaria), his replacement (Seth Green), the producer (Stanley Tucci), and, of course, the press.

April takes requests! Yes, I do take requests, and I am reviewing the film at the behest of a friend. I don’t know how much longer we will be friends, though, after she reads this.

Because the movie is horrible. Just horrible. It’s too long, too boring, too contrived.

Don’t get me wrong here. I think Crystal, Zeta-Jones, Cusack, Walken, Azaria, Green, and Tucci are some of the best people out there. In fact, if I haven’t mentioned it before, I love Tucci. He’s so good. So very good.

Notice how Roberts didn’t make that list. I have a problem with her because she plays the same character in every movie. By now she’s not even acting, she’s doing Roberts. I bet she’s really nice in real life and probably fun to hang out with, but I cannot stand seeing her do the same thing over and over again. How do I know this? The one time she takes on a more challenging role, she wins an Academy Award. Erin Brockovich was a good movie, albeit more of a glorified made-for-TV movie, but that doesn’t mean she should get an Oscar. And don’t come after me with Mary Reilly or The Pelican Brief to defend her because you’ll have to take a closer look to make a convincing point. Actually, I think her best movie is Steel Magnolias. That one you could argue.

From what I have read, Lee and Kiki are the ones who were supposed to end up together, which I think would have been better, and Roberts refused to wear the fat suit for the whole film, so they had to add in all that stuff about Kiki losing 60 pounds. What kind of example is that setting for young women everywhere? That you can only get the guy you want after he loses his mind, and you lose the extra pounds? I much prefer the message of BJD: Be your crazy self, and dreamy Colin Firth will fall in love with you.

Actually, some of the best scenes are between Cusack and Alan Arkin, who plays his “Wellness Guide.” If you’ll recall, I also said that about Grosse Pointe Blank. So nice they did it twice.

So where did it all go wrong? Combination of writing and directing. I think too highly of Crystal to say that his work on the screenplay was bad, which means that Peter Tolan will have to be sacrificed to make up for it. What is wrong with him? He wastes the talents of his cast, and he dwells on the unimportant and uninteresting. On the other hand, what can you really expect from the guy who brought you Stealing Harvard and What Planet Are You From??

And then you’ve got a director with no vision. Yes, thank you, Joe Roth, for not attempting to save the script or your star-studded cast.

Well, there you have it, folks. I don’t want you to shy away from making requests, just keep in mind that you might not want me to tear apart your favourite film.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Parenthood (1989)

Plan: Following the lives of three generations of Buckmans: Gil (Steven Martin) is married to Karen (Mary Steenburgen). Their eldest child, Kevin (Jasen Fisher) has “emotional problems”. Helen (Dianne Weist) is a single mom raising two children, one of whom, Garry (Joaquin Phoenix) never opens his door or his mouth. Susan (Harley Jane Kozak) and her husband, Nathan (Rick Moranis) are trying to raise a genius. Poor Patty (Ivyann Schwan). Finally, Larry (Tom Hulce) returns home after a three year absence with a three year old, Cool (Alex Burrall), in tow.

That doesn’t even begin to explain how complex the network of family life can be or is in this movie. I’d draw you a family tree, but I don’t want to be bothered.

Honestly, I didn’t know Ron Howard (director) had such a deft ability for comedy outside of acting. I usually associate him with the kinds of movies he makes now, like A Beautiful Mind and The Missing. However, surprised by his sense of whimsy, I checked out his filmography. Turns out he also directed Splash and Cocoon. So, in case it comes up, Ron Howard is the coolest.

As for Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, they’ve written everything together since they first worked on Happy Days, which is probably why Howard directs many of their movies. In all honesty, they are pretty darn funny and can be quite poignant at times as well.

So, um, yeah, the cast. How about instead I just give you some general conclusions that were drawn from the viewing? Okay? Okay.
1. Martin is ageless. I think his hair might be a little more silver, but he hasn’t really aged in about 15 years.
2. Weist plays the best single moms ever. She always goes all out to make her kids happy.
3. Phoenix used to be credited as Leaf, not Joaquin. Who knew?
4. Moranis needs to make more movies now-a-days. He’s great.
5. Burrall is a great little kid. So is the kid who plays Justin.

There ya have it. Actually, the best lines in the movie were spoken by people I haven’t even mentioned yet. Jason Robards plays the patriarch of this sprawling family, Keanu Reeves, as a disapproved-of boyfriend, dispenses advice to Weist, and Grandma (Helen Shaw) is the wisest of all.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Untamed Heart (1993)

Brief: I'm trying to figure out how much the trailer/back of the box will tell you. Okay, after he saves her from an attempted rape, Caroline (Maris Tomei) realizes that Adam (Christian Slater) is in love with her. As she learns more about him, she decides to fall in love with him, too. She also learns that he is convinced that he has the heart of a baboon king in his chest.

Yeah, good enough. Oh, man, this movie takes me back. You know when people ask you what your favourite childhood movie was? And you answer something like Robin Hood - the one with the foxes - or The Wizard of Oz? Well, I blabbed out Untamed Heart once, and it just sort of stuck. Honestly, it is a movie I watched and loved as a child. Like Ferris Buller's Day Off. And Mannequin 2: On the Move. Not Mannequin. Mannequin 2. I was a strange kid.

You know why I still love it, though? Tomei and Slater are awesome! Their are so believable as star-crossed lovers, and their sweetly innocent chemistry makes it all the more poignant. While Slater seems to have fallen off the wagon, Tomei has proven herself again and again as an actress of substance.

Get this! It's directed by Tony Bill! Remember when I told y'all about Five Corners, the movie that only Carol and I had ever heard of? Well, he directed this movie as well. It's sweet, and simple, and well done. Bill's direction shows that he knows when to give and when to take.

As for Tom Sierchio (writer), well, he's not done anything else. There is, however, an "untitled Tom Sierchio project" due out this year, so I'm glad he's turning that around. His script's not the best, but with good editing, direction, and acting, he seems like winner.

I'm so giddy just writing about this movie! You know that's a good sign. So take the time to see it.

Friday, May 07, 2004

Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar (1995)

Idea: Miss Noxeema Jackson (Wesley Snipes) and Miss Vida Boheme (Patrick Swayze) tie for the title in a New York drag queen contest, winning them a trip to Hollywood to compete nationally. They find themselves persuaded to help turn Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez (John Leguizamo) into a true drag Queen, so they trade in their fare for a classic Cadillac. On their way, their car breaks down, and they find themselves stranded in a one-horse-town in the middle of nowhere. Hilarity ensues.

Truly, truly, I used to love this movie. I couldn't get enough of it. Now, it's been years since I last saw it, but I can still hear that hilarious dialogue in my head. It just kills me. Kills me dead.

And, um, yes, it is largely about drag queens. The hilarity doesn't stem from the idea of men dressed up as women, but the confusion they can cause. There are also some social issues thrown in there for good measure.

I attribute its lasting impression on me mostly to the actors. Leguizamo is an incredible talented man, and he is possibly one of the best supporting actors out there. I do believe it is harder work to support well, and Leguizamo is perfectly cut for it. To be honest, I don't think I've ever seen Swayze do another comedy, and, well, he's good, but not good enough to be a comedic actor. As for Snipes, I much prefer him in this role as opposed to the action heroes he is so prone to playing.

Beeban Kidron, well, I don't know even know if that's a male or female name. S/he doesn't seem to have done much else, but s/he did direct the highly anticipated - at least by me - BJD sequel, The Edge of Reason. If s/he screws that up, I will turn my back on him/her with a second thought.

Moving on to Douglas Carter Beane, the writer. The movie is his writing debut, and he's only ever written one other movie. Something must have scared him of, which is a shame, given his natural knack for comedy. Hopefully he'll come out of the woodwork yet and give me something to go on.

Serious, see the movie. You'll laugh. I can't imagine anyone not laughing.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Dangerous Beauty (1998)

Outline: When a lower class woman, Veronica Franco (Catherine McCormack) realizes that her upper class love, Marco Venier (Rufus Sewell), can/will never marry her, her mother (Jacqueline Bisset) trains her to become a courtesan. To Marco's chagrin, Veronica becomes the most popular courtesan in 16th century Venice. Oh, it's based on a true story, by the way.

Yes, gentle reader, I have fallen astray from my original mandate of daily reviews. Between moving, new job, and summer session at school, I have been a wee bit busy. Hang in there with me, I'll find a balance yet. On the bright side, I am returning to my implicit mandate of bringing you movies you have never even heard of. Once again it's a film I came across late one night on satellite. Oh, satellite TV, how I miss you.

Also, yes, it's about a courtesan, so there is lots of sex in the movie. It's also quite scary at other points. I don't know what to tell you. It's 16th century Venice - what exactly are you expecting?

McCormack is stunningly believable as the disillusioned, brilliant, and sexy Veronica. Perhaps it is because she is singularly beautiful, but I am certain there must more that it than that. She literally glows, so passionate and sorrowful is her portrayal.

Before I saw this film, I thought Sewell was best suited to villains. And not complex ones at that. This film, however, did . . . well, I was going to say "a lot to shake that theory", but that's not really true. It did a little to shake that theory thought not enough to sell me on him. I am excited, however, to see him as Lord Marke when Tristan & Isolde comes out later this year. Oh, Aruthurian legend.

Marshall Herskovitz's direction is striking and sumptuous. I'm not really sure how it fares in comparison with his other work, as all I have seen besides this is the critically-acclaimed Once and Again. Of course, I loved that show, and I love this movie, so it's a pretty safe bet to say that he's got it goin' on.

As for Jeannine Dominy's adaptation of Margaret Rosenthal's book, I have no opinion. I've never read the book, and Dominy has done nothing else. I'm a sucker for historical fiction and period pieces, so this film is right up my ally.

Speaking of historical fiction, that pretty much guarantees that you can find this film at your local library, where they will let you take it away for free. Unless you are me, of course, and then they will want you to pay your overdue fine. And your co-workers will admonish you for not paying it. That's special.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Saving Grace (2000)

Short: After her husband passes away, Grace (Brenda Blethyn) discovers that she is deeply in debt and will lose her house. Her gardener, Matthew (Craig Ferguson), and she start a grow operation in order to make some quick coin in their small Irish town.

Before anyone accuses me of having a year 2000 bias, I tell you truly that I had no idea this movie was from the year 2000. How was I supposed to know? I just knew about the ghonja (?).

In any case, the real concern here would be why are the British so hilarious? Has anyone figured out why they are so much funnier than you or I? Well, actually, Canadians are some of the funniest people on planet. Probably because we are always kidding on the square. All things considered, though, most people think the British are hilarious, and it isn't only an obsession with drinking tea and strong beer. I don't know how to explain it - it just is that way.

Another inexplicable thing is the uncanny talent of Blethyn and the endearing chemistry between her and Ferguson, who is also the script's co-author. Blethyn is truly one of the most talented actresses out there, with a near-frightening ability to do the height of comedy and the depth of tragedy with equal grace and skill.

The movie's directed by Nigel Cole, and it makes me all the more excited to see his latest, Calendar Girls. Actually, Saving Grace is his silver screen directorial debut, and, well, he's got one heck of a knack for comedy. I think it's true what they say about comedy: it is harder than drama. I suppose that's the point. I mean, how many people have you come across who can make you laugh until you cry?

I'd go on, but I'm afraid I could never do justice to the quirks and particularities of small town life, especially, it seems, in a small Irish town. I guess you'll just have to trust me on this one until you see it.

Monday, May 03, 2004

Being John Malkovich (1999)

Premise: A talented puppeteer, Craig Schwartz (John Cusack), takes a job as a file clerk at the behest of his pet-obsessed wife, Lotte (Cameron Diaz). After he drops a file behind a cabinet, he discovers a portal that leads inside John Malkovich's (himself) head. He and his wife fall for his business partner, Maxine (Caroline Keener), who is only interested in either of them when they are inside Malkovich. Eventually, Craig learns how to control Malkovich, and Maxine convinces him to stay in there, permanently.

Man, I thought that was a long plot description, but it doesn't even begin to cover what goes on in the movie. The best part is, I feel, that no one doubts or questions the fact that Craig finds this portal. No one even accuses him of being out of his mind. That kills me.

Here's another thing. I just realized the last time I watched this movie that Malkovich is the most talented person of the lot. I know it seems really obvious because of how crazy talented he is, but he has to act like Malkovich being controlled by someone else while fighting to be Malkovich. In other words, he has to take the stunning performance Cusack gives and replicate it while destroying it. It's wild.

Which, of course, would be the best word to describe Charlie Kaufman's screenplay. Everything that is said or occurs in his movies is so off the wall that it's hard to judge. Everything is fantasy, but nothing seems that out of the ordinary or unlikely. I don't understand how he does it. All I know is how amazing it all is to take in.

Spike Jonze, the director, must know what I mean because they have a new project due out next year. Other than that, he was a music video director before this. He definitely knows how to grab and sustain your attention.

Also, Sean Penn has a cameo that kills me. Honestly, so funny.

For some reason, I found this movie in the comedy section. That's the thing about Kaufman, I guess. There are definitely funny parts, but it's not a comedy. It's fantasy and drama and action as well. I suppose it was simply difficult to categorize.

Sunday, May 02, 2004

The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)

Brief: After Waring Hudsucker (Charles Durning) takes a flying leap from the 44th floor of Hudsucker Industries, Sidney J. Mussburger (Paul Newman) plots to drive down the cost of the soon-to-be public shares, so the board can gobble them up and continue to be millionaires. They install an educated yet naive mail room clerk, Norville Barnes (Tim Robbins), as their proxy president. Things turn sour when Barnes invents the hoola-hoop, putting the company back on top. Meanwhile, Amy Archer (Jennifer Jason Leigh) is a journalist who goes undercover as Barnes' assistant to get the real story.

More Coens. And I do love my Coens. The film's stylish and hilarious, but . . . well, I'll get back to that.

Newman is fantastic as a devilish CEO. Robbins, as you well know, is crazy talented, and this performance is inspired. My only real concern is the annoying accent/way of talking Leigh adopts. What is that about? What is it supposed to signify? I didn't get it.

Okay, seriously, I can't seem to think of much to say about this movie. The box said "two thumbs up!", all triumphant, but I don't agree with that. The movie is like a wool sweater. It's warm and comfortable and soft, but it also a little bit itchy. If you don't condition yourself to ignore the itchiness, it will drive you crazy. Yup, that's actually how I feel about the movie.

And that's the thing with the Coens. It's almost as though you have to know how to watch them. If you don't realize how tongue in cheek everything is, you are liable to find it inconsistent and even trite. They aren't, at all, but it could seem that way.