The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)

Jamie Campbell Bower and Lily Collins

© 2013 Constantin Film International GmbH and Unique Features (TMI) Inc.

There are two ways of looking at the latest YA would-be blockbuster adaptation: as a perfectly ordinary teen fantasy flick or as a truly dispiriting adaptation of one of the best kitchen sink fantasy series I've come across in a long time.

To be honest, I don't really want to get into the perfectly ordinary part of this convo. Aside from some super smart casting (I pretty much loved everyone in their roles, though Robert Sheehan as Simon is the standout), the movie starts to lose steam somewhere around Magnus' party and never really picks back up. The Mortal Cup becomes more and more of a MacGuffin (why do the vampires want it? And why would they kidnap Simon to get it?), so, by the time Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his insane hair/clothes/face come out of the puddle in the wall, you're just sort of over it.

I've been trying to puzzle out exactly what went wrong with this adaptation beyond the aforementioned Meyers and the completely baffling decision to reinvent his character from the ground up. I think I've finally put my finger on it: the movie pulls the book's punches.

[In honour of the return of Extra Hot Great!, spoilers ahead, fun ahoy!]

There's nothing more important than Valentine being Jace's dad. Not just as a reason to keep Jace and Clary apart (that's sort of secondary). It's that Jace's entire emotional arc over the course of all five of these novels is keyed into that one point. How he was raised and what that means for him -- the dichotomy between the man he was raised to be and the man he wants to be, and, yes, what that means for him and Clary, is tied up in one simple idea: Valentine as Jace's dad. Not as a trick suggested by Hodge (to what end?) or some sort of mental jiu-jitsu on Valentine's part. To look at the man who raised you and to realize what he is and to have to make difficult choices based not on pleasing him but on your own heart, that's the essence of growing up. And you can't really have a YA series where no one grows up.

The rest of it, I can sort of understand. Seraph blades are essentially angelic lightsabers. Bringing Alec and Isabelle to the Hotel Dumort allows for an action set-piece in the middle of the movie for the entire cast. Telling Luke's entire backstory would take forever (though the net result is that Luke ends up looking like a Jacobian interloper instead of a crucial component of Clary and Jocelyn's lives). Showing Jocelyn fighting and taking the potion serves the twin purposes of giving you a reason to care about her and justifying hiring Lena Headey for the role.

Of course, doing all that undoes the twin slaps of finding out that Jocelyn did this to herself and that she never wanted Clary to know anything about it. She's softened up, so Clary can have her cry at the end and tell her unconscious mom that she forgives her. Valentine's softened up from killing his whole family to maybe killing only two people. Hodge stays and fights (and dies?) instead of running the first chance he gets. Alec almost dies saving Clary's life instead of trying to impress Jace. So, while we're at it, why not let Clary keep the Mortal Cup instead of losing it to Valentine?

If you are going to mess something up, why not really, really mess it up?

Which brings me back to Valentine. If you are looking for a modern equivalent of the Valentine Morgenstern of the books, look no further than Vladimir Putin. He draws you in with a great deal personal charm and charisma, and you think it's so funny with his vigorous torso and bear staring. And then he starts taking away people's rights, and you realize he's a monster. Always has been, always will be. That's Valentine. Buttoned up cruelty. Not, you know, this:

The sad thing is that this movie is dying at the box office, which means it probably won't get the same chance The Hunger Games got to course correct. I was supposed to wrote a book vs film for that one, and I never quite got around to it. It wasn't even until the third time I saw the movie that I finally got what I didn't like about it: good is the enemy of great. Chasing a family friendly rating chases the greatness right out of that novel. You have to feel each death. What's more, you have to feel the way the entire system is rigged from start to finish, not just in the arena, but in every single district. The way Katniss wants to ask the rare senior in 12 how they managed to live so long. The way Rue describes how hard they work and how little they get in return, but at least they have music. It's all arenas all the way down.

I still don't think Mortal Instruments is as good, but it's still better than Twilight and that pile had hundreds of chances. Is it so wrong that I just want a chance to see the development of Jace, the greatest Shadowhunter the world has ever known? Jamie Campbell Bower's hair looks like it smells and his wardrobe is deplorable, but he does interesting things with his fingers that catch my attention despite myself. He deserves his chance to do a swan dive off the balcony instead of stupid faux-Valentine and his wet leather pants.

Besides, don't you want to see Clary tear that ship apart?

Pop Culture Round-Up: January 29 - February 11, 2011

Tyranny of the Alphabet - By Timothy Noah - Slate Magazine
You might be like, "Huh?" but, as a Y, let me tell you that I read this entire thing nodding and going, "This is SO TRUE." Also very disappointing for five year-old me to learn that you never get over it even if you change your name since as I child I truly thought that marrying someone whose name came higher up (look, even that!) in the alphabet was my ticket to happiness. 

A Golden Age of Foreign Films, Mostly Unseen - NYTimes.com
Aw, I see them! Also, Carlos is really long. Less so when you realize that it was originally a two-parter, but still.

Narcissus Regards a Book - The Chronicle Review - The Chronicle of Higher Education
Hmm, I don't actually remember why I wanted to read this, so it will be surprise to all of us.

The Tyee – Frugging Lycanthropes! - The Sadies make the great Canadian music video.
How could dancing werewolves not be a good thing?

Separating Fact From Film - WSJ.com
It's time for Black Swan backlash, no?

CBC News - Books - Canada Reads names 2011 winner
It is sadly not there any longer, but this article was originally published with the subhead (and I am not making this up): SPOILER ALERT: Prize winner revealed below. I'm spoiler-averse, but are things so off-kilter that articles clearly announcing winners need spoiler alerts? WARNING: This article contains news!

‘Black Swan’ Deconstructed, Film’s Many Faces - NYTimes.com
And there it is. Odd, because even as I was watching it I thought an apropos subtitle would be "Nina's failure to orgasm," but I didn't make the link, "And also sexism."

FFWD - Calgary Screen - Film Features - Romantic movies for the fellas
Or the Aprils. 

FFWD - Calgary Screen - Film Features - Rom-com romp
I haven't seen four out of five, so let's talk about numero cinq. Lars and the Real Girl should totally make you barf. It's cute enough while you are watching it but not cute enough to stop you from thinking that what Lars is doing isn't radical therapy. His "solution" to ending his surrogate relationship -- so that he can have a real one -- is to kill his girlfriend. That's not going to help him having happy, functioning relationships in the future. His prospective human girlfriend should run for the hills.

'Twilight' Writer Melissa Rosenberg Takes Over Summit's 'Highlander' Script (Exclusive) - Heat Vision
As my best friend put it when she sent this link to me, "Best. News. Ever." But how can anyone improve on the Kurgan? 

1968-75: How 'X-Rated' Became Synonymous With 'Porn' - James Fallows - Culture - The Atlantic
X-rated is so overrated.

Pop Culture Round Up: September 4 - October 15, 2010

Urban Plight: Vanishing Upward Mobility — The American, A Magazine of Ideas

Jokes To Tell Your Parents For Rosh Hashana : NPR

Damien Hirst faces eight new claims of plagiarism | Art and design | The Guardian Mind -

Research Upends Traditional Thinking on Study Habits - NYTimes.com

How to use a semicolon - The Oatmeal

Commercial cinema stands condemned | The Australian

It Turns Out There Is Accounting for Taste | Miller-McCune Online

Mad Men: the future of American film is on television | David Hare | Television & radio | The Guardian

CBC News - Film - Tarantino accused of favouritism in Venice

Looking for a Blockbuster Film in the ‘Mad Men’ Age - NYTimes.com

When a comma makes life needlessly hard - The Boston Globe

Christo vs. Colorado - WSJ.com

FFWD - Calgary Screen - Video Vulture - Better wizards than Nicolas Cage

Maisonneuve | The Eh-List

CBC News - Media - Messing with the medium

Op-Ed Contributor - A Dictionary of the Near Future - NYTimes.com

Hollywood Weighs In on Fat People - NYTimes.com

Cold Case, Numb3rs - chicagotribune.com

MTV -- Yes, MTV -- Wants Your Financial Aid Ideas - NYTimes.com

The Civilizations Buried Beneath Us : NPR

CBC News - Books - Lulu nods put Ottawa graphic artist in hot seat

Watch and learn - The Boston Globe

Hooray for Nollywood! | Film | guardian.co.uk

Ballroom steps on to stage

Ipsos OTX Study: People Spend More Than Half Their Day Consuming Media | TheWrap.com

"Where the Wild Things Were" A retrospective of werewolves in popular culture by Emily Landau | The Walrus | Online Exclusive

In Praise of Laziness - By Robert Zaretsky | Foreign Policy

Barbra Streisand inspires a killer dance track - Things That Go Pop!

Are Our Writers As Lousy As Our Bankers? - 3quarksdaily

CBC News - Film - Goon hockey film begins Winnipeg shoot

The Authentic Self: How Do You Know If You’re ‘Really’ Racist or Sexist? – TIME Healthland

An appreciation of film editor Sally Menke. - By Sasha Watson - Slate Magazine

The film career of David Bowie. - By Jessica Winter - Slate Magazine

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

I put nearly every thought I ever had about the story on the table in Book vs. Film: Eclipse, so I've decided not to go for anything in the way of a review here but just collect my stray observations instead.

Stray observations:

• Xavier Samuel as Riley might be the hottest vampire we've seen in the series. It's not that the others couldn't be hot (the actors underneath are); it's just that the movies seem committed to styling them in the least attractive way possible.
  
  
• He's also quite charismatic! Too bad Riley's a one book wonder.
  
  
• Remind me again why they replaced Rachelle Lefevre with Bryce Dallas Howard? I was previously under the impression that Howard had at least some acting ability. Does she just not get the character? Whatever, she's dead now (Victoria, that is).
  
  
• Oh, sweet fancy Moses, some one save me from all these close ups. I can't imagine what that was like in IMAX. OME! girls must have been thrilled.
  
  
• Intentional jokes! Billy Banks! Two great tastes that taste great together.
  
  
• What is with Von Pattinson's sideburns? Were they always this out of control?
  
  
• His eyelashes, on the other hand, are fabulous. I want that mascara.
  
  
• I've forgotten her name and IMDb doesn't list it, but the wigmaster is this movie's MVP. Bella's hair looks so lush and shiny!
  
  
• Has Nikki Reed lost 20 pounds or so? Not that I thought that she needed to lose the weight (because she didn't), but she looks decidedly thinner, particularly in the face, this time around. She looks good either way, just something I noticed.
  
  
• I think Kristen Stewart might have been a little worse this time around. I did not think she was all that concerned with Jacob going off to die. If Von Pattinson's default setting is "pained," then her's is "forgot how to breathe." I sort of think I like her as an actress, though, so I hope she pulls it together.
  
  
• Taylor Lautner's a sweet kid, but things I would not put him in charge of include wishing people were dead, threatening people with suicide, and use of the word "bro" (c.f. Humphrey, Dan).
  
  
• Man alive is Julia Jones (Leah) beautiful when she's not so angry. Which is exactly how Stephenie Meyer described her. Casting coup!
  
  
• Why are these olde tyme vampires so ugly?
  
  
• Em pointed out that Jackson Rathbone appears to be playing Nicholas Cage in Con Air and to a certain extent that's true, but there were also moments when genuine emotion broke through instead of ham mixed up with the accent, which makes me kind of sad for him over all. Also, why does he have different hair every time? And why are his contacts the exact same colour as his hair? He looks extra freaky!
  
  
• While I appreciated the attention to detail of giving the Cullens dark contacts at certain points in the movie to show that they need to hunt (and I'm pretty sure that these lined up with the novel), did anyone else find their golden eyes freaky this time around? Actually, you'd think that would be something the other students would gossip about: how come everyone in this adopted family has the exact same (non-human?) eye colour? You'd think some Cullens would wear contacts to blend in/mix it up.
  
  
• I bet Justin Chon's glad he showed up for his one line.
  
  
• When Carlisle and Billy shook hands, I was reminded of the time I was talking about Twilight the Movie with a co-worker, and she said that she thought that the adults' performances were better than the teens'. I started to say something like, "Well, of course, they're all better actors," but I ended up just confessing that I would totally watch a spin-off show about the dads. Picture it! Dr. Acula, Sheriff Swan, and wheelchair-bound Quileute Chief Billy Black? Admit it, that sounds totally cool.
  
  
• Re: the tent scene. Everyone was thinking, "Kiss! Kiss!" right? What is with these movies and how easy they make it to root for non-Bella and Edward coupling?
  
  
• I like how they left in imprinting but cut out the precedent-setting Quil-imprints-on-a-two-year-old stuff. Probably for the best.
  
  
• Or how pretty much everyone but Jacob imprints.
  
  
• Or how Edward likes to invade their wolf-base hive mind.
  
  
• Which later bites him in the ass when they all feel the pain of Jacob's attack.
  
  
• Ha.
  
  
• The Cullens wear matching outfits in the scene where they first try to catch Victoria. Oh goodness. Way to emphasize the fact that they are a cult.
  
  
• Seriously, what was the point of hiring Howard Shore? I'm not a huge Shore fan, but he's definitely done some cool stuff while working with David Cronenberg. They really need to get Carter Burwell back.
  
  
• I wasn't even much of a fan of Bella's lullaby, but now I kind of miss it. It's one of the two repeated elements in the books that pretty much doesn't exist in the movie (Edward's favouring of blue on Bella is the other).
  
  
• The soundtrack's a little better than New Moon but still not as rad as Twilight.
  
  
• How come no more Von Pattinson on either, come to think of it?
  
  
• I like how Seattle's vampire army wears a lot of flannel.
  
  
• Actually, there's a lot of plaid in this movie. What's with Bella and plaid?
  
  
• Dakota Fanning is good as Jane, but I miss Aro. Michael Sheen rocks.
  
  
• When the Cullens were just standing around waiting for the newborn army (seriously, they just stand there, I believe in matching outfits again), I wondered why they can't get poor Emmett a jacket that fits.
  
  
• Von Pattinson's chest hair is still in place. Check that chest hair on Peter Facinelli! And one of the other ones (Jackson Rathbone, I think)! The Cullen men are working it.
  
  
• Edward's graduation party outfit struck me as perfect. Actually, it was really only Alice who looked oddly dressed at that party, which is the exact opposite of how Alice should look.
  
  
• I sometimes forget that Edward, and all the vampires really, should look freaky and non-human in comparison to the rest of the cast, but I saw it here a few times in a good, not obviously undead way.
  
  
• I hate narration, so I'm glad they barely used, but it's even more distracting when used so sporadically. It sounds like something you keep forgetting to do and then suddenly throw in to say, "Oh, yeah! Narration!"
  

That's all I can think of right now, but I reserve the right to add more observations as they come back to me. Massive improvement over New Moon. Probably the best in the series. B

And if you're in need: A Guide to Recognizing Your Vampires

Pop Culture Round Up: April 2 - 23

This is what happens when you forget to post these things. Hold on to your hats.

Hollywood stars to film in Ottawa

Anna Paquin declaration causes site to crash

Host of books appear as angels become theme of new teenage reading cult

• Are they inspired by Castiel? Because I can see that.
  

Branding Deals Come Early in the Filmmaking Process

NBC Shows Send Signals to Recycle, Exercise and Eat Right

Bering in Mind: Scientists say free will probably doesn't exist, but urge: "Don't stop believing!"

• Hold on to that feel-en-i-en! Oh, how could any one resist?
  

'Breaking Dawn': 'Dreamgirls' director Bill Condon is the first choice for the last two 'Twilight' films

Tracy Morgan Gets Emotional When Asked About Tina Fey

Home Library Key to Academic Success

Twitter chatter may predict movie box office

• We're doomed.
  

It's time for Hollywood to see past the coming attraction of sequels

Are newspaper critics old hat amid the flood of online critics?

Why did 'Date Night's' Tina Fey and Steve Carell go from great TV to a bad movie?

• I didn't think so!

Age gap between men and women on TV is closing, research finds

We Predict the Timeline of the Inevitable Glee Backlash

10 Famous Movie Quotes In Graph Form [PIC]

Love sees Gosling or McAvoy as Cobain

5 Reasons 3D TV Won't Take Off

• Good because I don't want to puke in my living room.
  

Lovers, Not Victims

Blinded by jealousy?

Brad Bourland, Grocer With a 10,000-Top-Movie List

Dear TV Theme Music: What's Become Of You?

Death, Italian Style - Best Sendoffs

Movie critics: Shut up already!

Movie theaters turn to live event screenings to fill seats

The Food Network Expands With the Cooking Channel

• Not a joke.
  

Museums Take Their Lessons to the Schools

Leave it to Turkish soap operas to conquer hearts and mindsin the Arab world

• Of course! Who doesn't love the cheese of a good soap opera, which I am going to go ahead an assume is universal.
  

A New PETA Ad Will Feature the Late Bea Arthur

The Short Take: Neglect 2009 - Part I

Oh, blog, how you have been neglected in the last year plus. I think now my ticket stubs have hit critical mass: the pile is so big that it seems impossible to tackle them. I've decided that I am just going to work my way through them until they disappear. No system, no plan. Write a phrase, write a paragraph until they're all gone. Might back date the posts to break them up, but that's it. You with me?

Red Cliff (2008)

Plays at times like a John Woo parody rather than a John Woo movie, but then Takeshi Kaneshiro shows up as the hottest damn war strategist ever and makes it all worthwhile. Between that and Tony Leung's badassery, it's definitely worth checking out. Too bad we slow North Americans can't enjoy the two movie version they got in China. B

Mary and Max (2009)

I think I'm a little sensitive to movies where people finally get what they want when what they want is something small. Instead of beating us over the head with how deserving the protagonists are or what hard lives they live, Mary and Max's lives are presented as matter of fact (and odd and adorable) that the idea that all they each want is a friend is enough to break your heart. It's also nice to hear Philip Seymour Hoffman outside of his wheelhouse. Makes me want to send him a pom. A-

A Single Man (2009)

A Single Man is a sensory delight from start to finish, though perhaps not for the reasons Tom Ford would like me to point out. From John Hamm's rich voice on the other end of a phone line to Lee Pace showing up with a calabash pipe,* this movie is delicious. Ford's direction is, at times, too formal and too fussy, and Julianne Moore kind of goes off the rails. I never thought of her as an actress in need of direction, but there it is. Colin Firth finally found the exact right role for his cerebral, internal, occasionally sensual gifts, but he won't win the Oscar. It's a shame, really, because when is a role like this, one that takes place entirely behind a mask, going to come up again? A-

Crazy Heart (2009)

Crazy Heart is exactly the kind of small movie that showcases brilliant acting and little else. The story is shopworn and the coda unnecessary, but, man, who wouldn't want to draw near as Jeff Bridges worked out a melody sitting on his porch? Maybe Maggie Gyllenhaal is just inside by an open window, typing away at her computer. Robert Duvall's going to be here any minute now, and somehow you agree that it's a good idea for him to bring Colin Farrell along. You'd line up for that, wouldn't you? So the story hits its beats a little too hard and characters that could have been more are either buried under exposition or given short shrift. But the view is beautiful (thanks, DP Barry Markowitz), and how many more times are you going to get invited to a party like this? P.S. Bridges will obviously win. B+

Good Hair (2009)

Your $1000 weave is on layaway. At what point do you realize that your priorities are seriously out of whack? The movie delivers a lot of new, surprising information (you'll practically do a double take when Raven-Symoné starts sliding her weave around) but shows no real interest in diving into the socio-political-economic reasons behind why black women approach their hair in such a way. On the other hand, I've gotten a lot of mileage out of "creamy crack." B

Legion (2010)

I'm a big fan of bad movies (almost as good as great movies, I say, and just as valuable), so how bad does it have to be that I would tell people that not see it? Pretty fucking bad. Paul Bettany is kind of awesome in that his idea of showing Michael's love for humanity is to act like he wants to make out with whomever he's talking to (it helps that he's lookin' good in this movie), and there's something wonderfully offbeat about Kevin Durand. Aside from that, there's nothing redeem a movie so messy it can't even follow its inner logic. D-

The Wolfman (2010)

Emily Blunt, you sure do look good in period clothes. Anthony Hopkins, you've got some sort of Alan Rickman thing going on here with the way you add syllables to words (Rickman is the king of turning words you thought you knew and understood against you). Rest of the movie? You're cool for the first act, big on scares and atmosphere. The work that goes into the Benicio Del Toro's transformation is genius, the rest of the movie is not. Way too much atmosphere, not enough plot. Hugo Weaving's still cool beans. Should have told half the movie from his point of view and had it go ramming into Del Toro's. That would have been something. C

*Whoo! Foxy TV men!

Pop Culture Round Up: February 6 - 12

A Tour of 'Hell' in Evening Dress

New vote counting procedure for Best Picture Oscar is hard to follow

People Share News Online That Inspires Awe, Researchers Find

Surprise! Bradley Cooper Won’t Be Romancing Julia Roberts in Valentine’s Day

Creature feature

Magicians Speculate on Profession's Gender Imbalance

A world of Marvel

Exclusive Details on the Escape From New York Remake: Different Big Apple, Same Eye Patch

Sex Change: The Rise of the Female-Driven Blockbuster

Bored to Death? It Could Happen

Exclusive: 'Friday Night Lights' sets end date

The Wolfman’s Anthony Hopkins on Twilight, Working With Benicio, and the Problem With Mumbling Actors

Bob Dylan paintings get London gallery show

A discussion about Liz Phair, Riot Grrrls, and other '90s women in rock.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

My Book vs. Film is already out, so maybe you want to start there and work back. I don't know. It's downright exhaustive, so I'm not going to get into the strength of the adaptation here. Let's focus on the movie as a movie.

I've got a complicated relationship with composer Alexandre Desplat, but let me tell you this much: he damn near ruined the movie for me. A lot of my other complaints about this movie are very much based in a comparison with Hardwicke's Twilight, which is just too bad for New Moon director Chris Weitz, but I am certain I would have found this score egregiously overwritten at every turn no matter what. He actually dings! when someone is supposed to have a moment of recognition. For all I know, there were dun-dun-duns, but I was probably working overtime to block it out. It's the most obvious and attention seeking score I have heard in years.

In talking it over with my viewing partner, she noted that there is a time and a place for a full orchestra, and New Moon is not it. Truer words, people. I liked Carter Burwell's work well enough last time around (okay, I do feel that the conspicuously-absent-from-New-Moon lullaby was not quite right), but I never realized before how his electric guitar and tribal drum driven work was modern, sexy, dangerous, and cool. Exactly what the score for our teen vampires and werewolves in love should be.

Regardless of the DP, director, or composer, these movies are bound to rake in a ton of coin. But does that mean that aesthetic concerns don't matter? Of course not! While cinematographer Javier Aguirresarobe does lovely work in the lush coastal rain forests of Vancouver, he's sort of at a loss when people are in the frame. Aguirresarobe and Weitz make sure that Edward (Robert Pattinson)'s first real appearance is held long enough for fangirls to get in a good squee (there is a fan involved, I'm pretty sure), but they lose it shortly thereafter. To wit:

1. Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) sows up Bella (Kristen Stewart)'s arm in candlelight while pulling her close and listening to opera. Wait, who is she supposed to be dating? Because I just thought, "Kiss! Kiss!"


2. A tilt to suggest Bella is thrown by Edward breaking up with her? Is this Doubt?


3. The camera pushes in on her lying down in the woods, and I thought, "Why wouldn't the camer pull out to show how alone and vulnerable she is?"
   
   
4. Bella tosses Jacob a slice of pizza during a fixing-up-our-bikes montage, and he catches a socket wrench (montage!). Not only does the wrench catch look completely fake, but it comes in from a completely different height and angle than the pizza through to what looks like a different area of the garage. Intentionally funny?*
   

It's like they're not sure what story they want to tell. Hardwicke clearly wanted to tell a story called, "The Cullens are cool, and now you want to join their cult, too." If Weitz's angle was supposed to be, "The wolves are cool, and now you want to join their cult, too," he really didn't hit the mark.

Don't get me wrong; the wolves are pretty cool. You're not going to get a lot of arguments from me against good looking guys with their shirts off, and New Moon has those aplenty. They're also a lot less openly hostile toward Bella in the movie than they are in the book, which I appreciated. Taylor Lautner's baby-face doesn't quite match the 25-year-old man Jacob is meant to morph into, but he's got Jacob's tenderness, heartbreak, and barely suppressed rage down pat. It will certainly be interesting to see what he does with Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Plus, unlike others, aging will work in his favour.

Others being Pattinson, of course. Not that he looks markedly older to me, but there's something in his aspect this time around that's less boy and more man. I already thought he was perfectly cast as Edward, and he certainly brings exactly what's necessary to the role, cutting through Stephenie Meyer's florid prose to the human underneath. Yes, human. While Edward's beyond obsessed about his status as a vampire, Pattinson manages to play him in such a way where you can see how, for Bella, that would be just one thing about him but not the main thing. There's a man there. That said, this change I see makes the decision to rush through production slightly more reasonable.

Stewart's also doing some more lovely work (I was especially cheered by the face she makes right after she makes a pointed remark. It's a great "Get it?" face), though not all her choices work out that well. Even so, I see her growing into the character as well as making Bella grow up with her. It's the kind of thing that just might be worth study over time.

All the usual suspects are back, and they're just as great and underused as they were before (although what is up with Jasper's hair? Why can they not make it work?), and, though Fanning might try to steal the show as Jane, it's all about Michael Sheen as Aro when it comes to supporting players because it is fantastic to watch him pull a dude's head off and then gleefully cheer happy endings a few scenes later. I always liked Aro, but I just might love him now. I can only guess what's in store for Sheen now after playing a werewolf and a vampire. Frankenstein's monster? Dr. Frankenstein? Zombie? Angel? Demon? The sky's the limit!

Limited, I hope, will be Weitz's involvement in any future installments of this series. He and his team just aren't a good fit. Harwicke gets teenagers better than most directors (she's like John Hughes that way), and Weitz just doesn't seem to have the same respect/understanding of the source material. I mean, it's the same screenwriter (Melissa Rosenberg) either way, so it's hard to place the blame/credit there. Overall, the experience is satisfactory but nothing more than that. C+

*Point number four was added on the 24th after I remembered it.

Pop Culture Round Up: September 26 - November 20

Van Gogh's personal letters debut online in English

Stars + time + box office = franchise hit

Forget Rule No. 1 - Still Talking About ‘Fight Club’

Technology increases chances to see porn in public

New Brain Cells May Knock Out Old Memories

You want fries with that rap?

Mistakes in Typography Grate the Purists

Overdue library books returned half century later

Screen Memories

Was a WWII Classic Too Gay?

Scientists nose out clue to preserving books: their smell

Contact lenses to get built-in virtual graphics

Women living in 'Twilight' will not apologize for loving Edward, Bella and Jacob

Noises off: The rules of being a theatre critic | Stage | guardian.co.uk

Bare Breasts Don't Translate into Big Box Office

Spoiling for a fight

Stars lined up for new audio Bible

Montreal to see terracotta warriors

Hollywood's 10 Most Overpaid Stars - Hollywood's 10 Most Overpaid Stars

Artist Jeanne-Claude dies; co-created 'The Gates'

Taylor Lautner Denies That He Suffers From Restless Leg Syndrome

Pop Culture Round Up: July 25 - 31

Oldman lets Batman 3 news slip

Co-Chief of NBC Entertainment Departing - NYTimes.com

Mila Kunis hunts 'Black Swan' Shrew versus shrewd - Los Angeles Times

Vampires suck. - By Grady Hendrix - Slate Magazine

From the Set of Gossip Girl: An Illicit Kiss! -- Daily Intel -- New York News Blog -- New York Magazine

Howard to replace Lefevre in 'Twilight'

Robert Pattinson: Edward Is a Murderous Weirdo - E! Online

Twilight's Lefevre 'stunned' at loss of role

Jones County, Miss. - Civil War Fires Up Literary Shootout - NYTimes.com

Synchronised blinking stops viewers missing the action - life - 29 July 2009 - New Scientist

Replaced Twilight Actress ‘Stunned,’ Possibly With Good Reason -- Vulture -- Entertainment & Culture Blog -- New York Magazine

Jeremy Renner is talk of 'Town'

Vulture Taste Test: Tru Blood -- Vulture -- Entertainment & Culture Blog -- New York Magazine

Robert Downey Jr Loves Jude

Tim Burton's art to show at MoMA

Film - Four Decades of Cary Grant Movies in BAMcinématek Series - NYTimes.com

Seth Rogen: A Career in T-shirts -- Vulture -- Entertainment & Culture Blog -- New York Magazine

Pop Culture Round Up: July 11 - 24

Ryan Reynolds lands Green Lantern role

Writing Pictures: Ann Hornaday on the Art of the Hollywood Screenplay

As Music Mags Fall, Pitchfork Is Booming

Andrew Sarris - A Survivor of Film Criticism’s Heroic Age

Daniel Radcliffe Aces Interview With Terrified 11-Year-Old Reporter

Tate perfects the modern art of living dangerously

Female Directors, Still A Scarce Movie Commodity

Chace Crawford Moves Out of Ed Westwick's Apartment

... | The New York Observer

Leonard Cohen's heard enough of Hallelujah

Third 'Bridget Jones' in works

Austen in sea monster mash-up

Emmy Nominations Announced!

Artistic tendencies linked to 'schizophrenia gene'

The privileged Westerner’s guide to talking about the rest of the world

Valery Gergiev: The Ring master

Report says doom and gloom of movie biz means make more movies!

Former CBS anchor Walter Cronkite dies

The Tyranny of Choice

Jane Austen tames Tombstone

True Blood's Christian Conservative Vampire-Hater Speaks Out

Target’s Book Club Can Make Sleepy Titles Into Best Sellers

Sam Raimi plays 'Warcraft'

Researchers Train Minds to Move Matter

The end of the affair: five of the best breakup movies

Singer gets his revenge on United Airlines and soars to fame

Twilight 2 Soundtrack to Feature Non-Belchy Thom Yorke Track

Jeffrey Wells Is on Team Edward

Today’s Swooniest Brit Actors

Pop Culture Round Up: May 16-29

I was going to post some of these last week, but I realized that I only have five links and promptly lost the other ones I was going to add. They were about Chace Crawford and Footloose and how I am totally going to see that now. I think you can imagine the missing words.

This prompted a lengthy discussion as to whether or not he looked more or less vampirific. Guess which side I came down on?

Read my Sherlock Holmes trailer-related thoughts.

Get distracted my reading my blog. It's good for you.

The great IMAX swindle continues apace.

I guess I won't watch it after all.

This week in excellent news for lazy people: Perfectionism Linked to Early Death.

Hmm. I have mixed feelings about him.

I watched the mini-season and quite liked it, though I thought more Homicide than Hill Street Blues.

The original rake?

How else will you know that you're better than everyone else? On the other hand, it is free.

Dude has either not read the book or is desperate to film a sex scene.

I am morbidly fascinated and hope Perry can fit in a cameo.

I would read this.

I got all excited that they are making a movie, then sad that it's not with Edgar Wright, then excited about the comedy powerhouse.

I believe he also later wore an eye patch.

"Loving music, to a critic, cannot simply mean bestowing praise." It also means burns!

And, apropos of nothing, vampire abs.

Pop Culture Round Up: May 9 - 15

Sad.

I hope he goes!

Dudes, sometimes technology is too awesome. It makes me want to get a SoundBot and find out what it would produce for, say, the 1812 Overture vs Prokofiev's Classical Symphony or Moonlight Sonata.

I did not so much care for this, but I think I'll end up watching it. A lot of my other favourites have been canceled/ended recently.

Heh. I love this kind of story. "We've got no clue!"

Aziz Ansari vs IMAX. That's my kind of beef.

Perhaps that's where the script belongs?

My opinion of Hulu will be "Fuck Hulu" until it is fully available in Canada.

I'm sure I'll watch the crap out of this show, but could they have found a more ridiculous picture of Jamie?

It's too bad that I decided to give up on Weeds after last season. I think Andy realizing his love for Nancy might have been the last straw for me.

"We're smack dab in the middle of the Age of Immediacy." J.J. Abrams thinks that sucks.

Do you think she was inspired by The Last of the Mohicans?

This has to be one of the most hilarious takedowns I have read in a long time. Personally, I tried reading Dougland Coupland once (Polaroids from the Dead) and found it painful.

Great, but who will star in it?

Yay! That's almost enough to get me to watch.

"The science of voodoo: When mind attacks body" DUN!

What for? I like that book, but, seriously, what for? It's a complete story!

I'm starting to think that the best adaptations are actually the ones that capture the spirit of the book and its themes will creating a wholly new work of art on its own terms.

If it weren't Children's Choice, I would seriously wonder.

Hmm. Whatever happened to Cameron Crowe? Is he in exile?

Pop Culture Round-Up: April 18-24

Oh, good. I've always wanted to know.

Because we're still stuck on All the President's Men?

Whoo! Take that, criticism in crisis.

Can it be resurrected as a movie instead? Or a mini-series? Or, you know, a TV show?

You know, I'm still not sure I want to see this as a movie.

Huh. Of course, if they really wanted to do this list right, it'd be Billy Connolly and Joe Morton at the top.

Hmm.

Everyone's just looking to cash in, aren't they?

Take that, slump! Make the rich richer. Oh, proletariat, how could you?

Squee! One can only hope.

Aw.

Holy crap. Out of print books? This is the revolution calling.

Won't get any arguments with a Supernatural movie 'round here. Not that we're getting one, mind.

Like most things Twilight-related, overwrought and unnecessary.

Dude, those books are going to be killer.

I'm a little confused because I thought someone was already hired for the job, but, hey, I guess he knows vampires. Do you think he'll find a role for movie-boyfriend Ben Foster?

Pop Culture Round Up: April 4 - 17

I had one ready for last Friday, but I didn't have time to publish. Ah, well, I'll do better soon.

Are there still young critics? Okay, I know the answer to that, so I hope the answer is soon.

This is going to be great.

I haven't made up my mind if that's kind of awesome or just Neil LaBute's woman-hating fault.

Didn't we learn anything from Eternal Sunshine?

YAY! I will happily stay home Saturday nights for The Piemaker.

Number 10's probably my favourite even though I'm pretty sure it takes place over one day.

Mapping the Cultural Buzz: How Cool Is That?

It's like Golden Girls starring men.

I think it makes us feel like we're all hanging in there, and we're all in it together.

Heh. Yup, that's all.

I rocked it, and so can you. It may surprise you to learn that I rocked this one even harder.

I hope Harry Hamlin gets a cameo.

I am so confused by this news. It seems antithetical.

It's kind of Apocalyptic, but I like it.

More returned art!

I believe it.

We should should what, exactly? Stop making disaster movies in order to protect children's imaginations? Your point is beyond me, Lisa Kennedy.

Aw, yeah. Covering his werewolf and now his vampire bases. I hope zombies are up soon.

You're not the only ones left wondering what this means for next season.

“I’m reading it going, ‘Really, we’re going to put fucking shark in Jason’s spine and he thinks it’s going to work?’ ”

"The story is allegedly a loose retelling of the 16th U.S. president's life story — embellished with the notion that he is also a highly skilled vampire slayer." Yes. I love it.

While I'm pretty sure that Julian would be dead, I'd still watch it.

"Turns out, Milton was more rebellious and politically left than I realized. He was a risk-taker. He was arrested and imprisoned. Thanks, in part, to Andrew Marvell, he barely escaped a death sentence." Dudes, Milton. Milton. Can you believe it?

Hip-hop theatre! That excites me.

It's the movie choices that save it.

I don't know how they do it, but the tie-in products continue to be genius.

Pop Culture Round Up: March 7 - 13

Because they feared Liam Neeson coming after them?

I rocked this thing.

That would be cool, but how would you find out about new shows? Channel surfing is still important.

Yay! I think I am okay with this. You`re welcome.

Wow, do I ever want to read this now. There`s so much I`m missing out on! This, too!

While I am quite excited that David Edelstein is blogging again, this addition so threw me that I don`t recall even finishing the sentence. What?

I finally got around to watching this, and it looks great.

Let`s go!

I hope so!

This is beautiful.

Is it me, or is there something wonky with Lenin`s eyes?

Why must this be so ridiculous?

Ha!

Really? Okay.

Is there?

This is the best thing I read all week.

Pop Culture Round Up: February 28 - March 6

I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I'm leaning toward negatively at the moment.

Aw, they want to forget their troubles!

Nothing this cool ever happens at my office.

Yes? Listen, I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm all for criticism, but why would lack thereof equal no book culture? It's not like the publishing industry, English majors, and book clubs have ceased to exist.

Is it me, or does Paul Rudd look hot in this photo?

Ha! I knew those Baby Einstein DVDs were a crock. Another good reason to steer clear.

Well, yeah. When else can you call your friends and yell "Holy shit!"?

Continued obsession: Tracking down Nazi art booty. Yeah, that's what I just said.

I'm not quite at this point yet with the show, but Sars is right about the way pretty every conversation goes lately.

Oh, how I want to see it.

There are about 500 million things you could read about Watchmen this week, but I'd recommend this one.

Reactions to this headline: Shock, disbelief, suspicion that the Fug Girls were lying to me. Reactions to photo: Mild anxiety, as Vampire Boy suddenly looks kind of like ex-co-worker that I occasionally run into in the streets.

I think I may be reaching the saturation point on my anti-obsession as I didn't immediately clamour for one of these. Mind you, if it were actually like she described, I would want one so bad.

I do kind of want this.

Truth: I've only read two of these. I don't recall lying about the rest, mind.

I know it's supposed to sound hard and discouraging, but I thought, "Cool job."

I'm down with this casting, but the job is preposterous. It's a stupid contrivance entirely to cause friction. They are old money, for pete's sake!

The casting of this movie is getting surreal, but I kind of think it could end up being awesome.

Trailer insanity:

Terminator: Salvation

500 Days of Summer

Wolverine

Public Enemies

The Limits of Control

Pop Culture Round Up: February 21 - 27

But how do you ask questions?

Good for them.

I can't saw I ever thought much about this (confession: I don't have an mp3 player. I used to, then my headphones broke, then it broken, then I realized I prefer to hear the world around me most of the time when I'm out walking, which is pretty much the only time I used it), but I am glad that there is a solution. There's no reason to be denied your Prokofiev.

Holy shit, harsh! Sometimes criticism is crisis really gets me down.

Heh.

Watchmen guide for the uninitiated. Next Friday still seems so far away.

"Greenfield warns social networking sites are changing children's brains, resulting in selfish and attention deficient young people."

Was this an unknown previously?

Finally. What was his problem?

Yay! I can only assume that awesomeness will result.

This week in greatest things ever: Vladimir Putin releases judo instruction DVD.

Good, they should.

The answer is Conchords.

Nine! That's just fine by me.

Hee!

Why?

If I knew how to contact Kenneth Clark, I would mail this to his racist ass.

I don't see this happening, but it's a great rumour.

Pop Culture Round Up: February 14 - 20

Sort of a slow week if you want to read something other than Oscar coverage.

"Americans have developed an admirable fondness for books, food, and music that preprocess other cultures. But for all our enthusiasm, have we lost our taste for the truly foreign?"

I'm a little sick of this.

Oh, c'mon. This is just too much. It's on purpose, I am sure of it.

Mystery solved!

I'm pretty sure the answer is, "Maybe?"

If you think about which you have gone without longer, the results seem obvious.

Now that is a tradition worth remembering.

First a bidding war over Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and now this? This is what happens when copyright can't protect you anymore.

Three does make a trend.

Type fonts are cool, and so is his photo.

Heh. I'm often outraged by the same thing.

Holy crap! That makes sense, and it's probably an unsinkable series, but seriously, what is the matter with that studio? Will they hire Catherine back? Will they hire me? It's my favourite of the books!

Pop Culture Round Up: February 7-13

BAFTA winners.

WGA winners.

Criticism in crisis: why review?

Sad. Peel her a grape, angels.

Yeah, we were written before, people. Totally not cashing in.

I wouldn't normally link to a list like this, but some of my favourites are on it.

Tell 'em, Emma!

Ah, Dana. That closing paragraph is why I love you.

What the hell? How have I been missing this?

Six? Did we see the same movie?

"One year later, the evidence is clear: The WGA strike crippled the film and TV biz."

Aw.

Orchestras inspired by Soloist to do good deeds. Aww.

I find that his friend at the screening does a better job of explicating why The Reader shouldn't win than Ron Rosenbaum does for the majority of the article though I agree that the character lacks any real show of remorse.

Important question.

Isn't the book not due out until April, though? At any rate, they should hire me. I would rock that shit.

That would be a difficult list to create.

Whoa. I can't even imagine.

Does anyone just feel 'meh' about him at this point? Also, the topic seems a little uninspired. Wouldn't something about rounding up certain key players in the Iraq war for war crimes be a more exciting, left-wing topic?

Here's two ideas you don't see together every day: William Shatner ballet.

All these new ideas are . . . not worrying, exactly. Questionable. Yes, I have questions. How will I know who designed the dress unless some interchangeable E! host asks the starlet?

All of this just really makes me love her more. Please, please write a tell all. I would pre-order that mother.

Woman after my own heart.

I don't usually make a point of linking to these things as I would end up linking to them every freakin' week, but I found this one in particular to vibrate with a love of film. I find that Scott Tobias gets that way when he writes about Soderbergh, and it makes me wish he would write a book about him.

Aw, don't blame yourself, James. Either he's crazy or he's an idiot, but you're not responsible for either. You are a wonderful director.