The Lincoln Lawyer, Paul, and Limitless (all 2011)

The Lincoln Lawyer

© Lionsgate Films

I'll admit, however much I should be embarrassed about this, that I was most excited to see The Lincoln Lawyer this weekend. I'm no Matthew McConaughey fan. Heck, I'm not even a McConaughey apologist. But I do remember a time when there was a chance McConaughey might make a good movie instead of, say, The Wedding Planner, and that chance was roughly 15 years ago, so it's good to see that guy back again.

Because, between this and A Time to Kill, is there anything he does better than lawyer? He's so damn charming as a unscrupulous defense attorney because, hey, even scum deserve the full measure of the law that you root for him. You root for him because McConaughey makes it clear that there's a man behind the charlatan. Of course, he doesn't keep his shirt on the entire time (the 80s are making a comeback), but it's a step in the right direction.

Sadly, Ryan Phillippe took a step in the wrong direction, away from acting and toward smirking, as did the ad department by including a near final scene in the trailer.

Still, the movie deserves full points for the way everything, just everything, comes together in the end (even the walking 50s anachronism), and for the way this is not a redemption story. Don't get me wrong -- McConaughey's Mick struggles to put right an injustice over the course of the film. But he doesn't turn into a better, decent, pro-bono for the poor lawyer or any such thing in the end. He deals with the specifics of this case and moves on. I like that. I didn't like the spiny camera of insanity, but I liked that. B

Paul  

© Universal Pictures

I wasn't sure entirely what to expect from Paul except that Pegg + Frost - Wright would never be as good as Pegg + Frost + Wright. No offense to Pegg and Frost, who are delightful, but Wright's visual wizardry not only adds panache to the proceedings but mines every aspect of comedy so that the visual isn't just a delivery mechanism. Director Greg Mottola, whose work I liked for Superbad, doesn't bring it in the same way here.

I don't know how to put this except to say that it's just not that funny. It is funny, there are laughs, but there's no hysterical "did you see/hear that" arm-clutching action. There's more like smiling, guffawing, nodding funny. Part of it is that the script is smart without being particularly clever in its ribbing (fundamentalists = broad side of barn, but the devil's in the details on that one), and the other part is the direction/cinematography/editing doesn't fully support it.

What surprised me was how much I liked Seth Rogen's voice work, especially after The Green Hornet practically threw me into fits. His anger is toned down, and, without the teddy bear exterior, a greater nuance of emotion gets through. It's very sweet, really, how this goofy, fun-loving, chain smokin' alien just wants to get home. And can't drive. B

Limitless 

© Relativity Media

There's a time and a place for that bane of my movie existence, narration, and Limitless is almost entirely it. It's hard for us to understand exactly how NZT functions just by watching Eddie (Bradley Cooper), other than knowing it's Adderall times a million, without him explaining that he's not wired, just focused. Stop for science: you already use all of your brain (just not consciously), and being able to cut down distractions wouldn't necessarily give you the ability to understand everything. Science break over.

Cooper is perfectly cast as a smugly handsome overachiever, though he starts out in sad-sack Will mode: a struggling, scraggly writer who bumps his ex-brother-in-law (Johnny Whitworth, aka A.J. from Empire Records, who's apparently been in other things I've seen over the years without my noticing) during a particularly low moment and naturally gets hooked on a drug that, at the very least, makes him feel limitless. When said ex-BIL ends up with a bullet in his head, Eddie grabs the drugs and gets out, but it's really only a matter of time before the same fate catches up to him.

Of course, how he gets there involves some camera work and murky storytelling I could have done without, so it's not perfect. It's fluff: well cast fluff but fluff nonetheless. A little more emotional heft, and we could have gotten there. Ah, well. At least I like Abbie Cornish now. B-

"I jest, I jive!"

Yet another petty grievance with IMDb's redesign: instead of showing you the quote that contains the keyword for which you have searched, you only get the matching titles. Then you have to go dig the quote out yourself. From hundreds of returns. Like that's useful. No one does a search to make their lives more complicated. Eff, that is stupid.

Not what we're here to talk about though. Two things: 1) check out my latest Culture article, "The January Movie," in which I set out the find the best of the traditionally terrible movies that come out this month. 2) This here blog is seven (7!) today. While the number of posts have been on a steady decline over the years, in part because recapping tv shows over on Culture's blog is pretty dang time consuming, and it would be narcissistic and not terribly accurate to say that my writing has improved, I can say that I'm still going to see way more movies than someone who isn't getting paid to should and that I'm still writing about them. I can say that. If you've been sticking with me regardless of where I pop up, thank you.

Now I'm off to buy bloggy something made out of wood or copper or a desk set. A wood and copper desk set?

Pop Culture Round Up: July 25 - 31

Oldman lets Batman 3 news slip

Co-Chief of NBC Entertainment Departing - NYTimes.com

Mila Kunis hunts 'Black Swan' Shrew versus shrewd - Los Angeles Times

Vampires suck. - By Grady Hendrix - Slate Magazine

From the Set of Gossip Girl: An Illicit Kiss! -- Daily Intel -- New York News Blog -- New York Magazine

Howard to replace Lefevre in 'Twilight'

Robert Pattinson: Edward Is a Murderous Weirdo - E! Online

Twilight's Lefevre 'stunned' at loss of role

Jones County, Miss. - Civil War Fires Up Literary Shootout - NYTimes.com

Synchronised blinking stops viewers missing the action - life - 29 July 2009 - New Scientist

Replaced Twilight Actress ‘Stunned,’ Possibly With Good Reason -- Vulture -- Entertainment & Culture Blog -- New York Magazine

Jeremy Renner is talk of 'Town'

Vulture Taste Test: Tru Blood -- Vulture -- Entertainment & Culture Blog -- New York Magazine

Robert Downey Jr Loves Jude

Tim Burton's art to show at MoMA

Film - Four Decades of Cary Grant Movies in BAMcinématek Series - NYTimes.com

Seth Rogen: A Career in T-shirts -- Vulture -- Entertainment & Culture Blog -- New York Magazine

Pop Culture Round Up: June 20 - July 3

1) I typed "poop culture." Twice.

2) Two weeks worth is a lot of stuff to make pithy comments about, so I'll give it to you as is. Maybe I'll go back and add some thoughts later.

Movies online: The future is (almost) here

Small windows cramp big movies

Pop What You Preach!

Crazy in Love: A new book makes the case for passionate obsession.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Shows His Fierce Sensitivity in '500 Days of Summer'

Exile on Madison Avenue: Goings On

Can women write about sex?

A Wandering Mind Heads Toward Insight

The Hurt Locker’s Jeremy Renner on His Bomb-Dismantling Playlist

Movies offer escape. Theatre lets us understand

How DVD marketing is rewriting the history of film.

Beatles poster sells for $50,000

Zac Efron to topline thriller for Mandate

Oscar expands best pic noms to 10

A Candy Q&A: 'True Blood' star Stephen Moyer answers your questions

Nazi Loot Recovery Is Slow, Arbitrary, Claimants’ Groups Say

Holocaust Conference Urges More Efforts on Looted Art

Historian probes origins of letter found in wall at MFA

Film Scores

Academy may silence original-song Oscar

Art criticism is not a democracy

Inside the Classics: A Critic Runs Smack Into The 21st Century

OMG: New Blonde Replaces Gossip Girl’s Serena!

Canadians Seth Rogen, Michael Cera named Oscar judges

Rembrandt: a portrait of the artist as a young lad

Bravo, Sarah Jessica Parker launching art-themed reality series

What are the greatest gangster movies?

Stop the Music: Oscar Misses the Melody

Godfather loser, Hollywood legend

The Short Take: 2008 Round Up

It's not 2008 anymore, I know, but I still have quite a few 2008 movies that I have yet to tell you about. It seems obvious at this point that they're not going to get full reviews. I still want to acknowledge them, though, so they get the paragraph treatment instead. Hurrah!

Blindness (2008)

Bearing in mind that Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo are pretty much always going to be good, this has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. A metaphor for the break down of communication in modern society, huh? How does that work, exactly? Let's go back to grade five and remember that a metaphor is a comparison not using like or as. So everyone loses their sight and only one seemingly ordinary woman (Moore) can still see but pretends to be blind in order to stay with her husband (Ruffalo). Okay . . . still waiting for someone to explain to me how the metaphor works. I'll give José Saramago the benefit of the doubt and guess that it works in the novel, but it doesn't come across in screenwriter Don McKellar and director Fernando Meirelles adaptation. Basically, this movie has an overlap of self-consciously arty crap (it's white blindness, so the theatre would occasionally fill with bright white light from the screen, which achieved nothing so much as taking the audience directly out of the film) and over attention to gritty details (people stopped using the washrooms and just used the hall, and not a single scene that involved walking down the hallway failed to include someone slipping in shit. I'd like to say points for continuity, but We. Get. It). We also got it when you stayed on the stray dog eating a dead person in the street for two minutes. Shut up, moive. D

Passchendaele (2008)

This movie had a lot going for it. The opening sequence was shocking. Then the movie zigged when you thought it would zag, taking you back to Alberta and focusing instead on an older officer (Paul Gross) wooing an emotionally unavailable younger nurse (Caroline Dhavernas). This part I liked. It was a little boring at times, but you could understand why he kept at it even as she pushed him away. But the movie's called Passchendaele, so you knew they had to get back to the front eventually. It was at this point, the third act, that the movie got bad. Out of nowhere, a small, well developed, character driven story became a sweeping war movie in the worst way. Now it was about CANADA, and CANADA deserves to have its story told. I'm not saying that that's not true; I'm saying that it didn't jive with what came before and was done in something of an embarrassing manner. Oh, well. I suppose writer-director-star Gross isn't perfect. C+

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

I'll just tell you how it is: I don't really get Kevin Smith. I don't dislike him or want him to come to any harm, but when I'm watching his movies, it's sort of a big meh. Part of it is that people just don't talk like that. Not in that Sorkin way where we wish we were all that erudite but in that "If I hear the words 'make love' or any derivation thereof one more time, I'm going to lose it" way. I don't believe that Zack would talk that way, and I wanted to stop such things from coming out of Seth Rogen's mouth. He's a good actor; they would sound ridiculous no matter what. And that's all it is, really: that two best friends would think making a porno is the best way to solve their financial crisis, that having sex could reveal deeper feelings, that it does, it's a workable premise. But then you throw all these other layers of shit (sometimes literal) on top of the thing, and it becomes shallow. There's humour there, but the fundamental lack of emotionality prevents the movie from ever being more than okay. B-

Changeling (2008)

Remember when Angelina Jolie got really skinny back in there? See this movie if you need a refresher. Not only does her collarbone practically cry out "feed me!", but all the veins in her hands stand out, giving her the effect of seeming fragile. Which is great when you are playing a character like Christine Collins. The trailer may give you the impression that this movie's about a lady looking for her lost son, but it's really about a lady learning to toughen up. She just also happens to be looking for her lost son. Jolie's great, but her out sized public persona prevents her from ever really disappearing into a role. It's hard to believe that she wouldn't start kicking some ass. John Malkovich is cast fantastically against type as Reverend Gustav Briegleb (I think you could get a solid short film out of him just saying that name), a firebrand so intent on taking down the corrupt police department that it's possible he only sees Christine as a means to an end. This, unfortunately, is all the nuance any character in the movie is allowed. Jeffrey Donovan, as the captain who gives Christine the wrong boy, gets all of fifteen seconds to register any doubt or remorse. No one else gets even that much. It gets the point where you want to tell the nice detective (Michael Kelly) to go easier on these kids. This just isn't it, Clint. C-

Australia (2008)

This not so much a movie as a child's fever dream of what an epic movie should be. It's bookended by a movie about the Stolen Generations, turns into a fish out of water love story about an Englishwoman (Nicole Kidman) who inherits a cattle farm in the outback and the Drover (Hugh Jackman) who helps her save the place from financial ruin, and then turns into a war drama. While there's plenty of material there, it's not convincingly much of any of these movies. Kidman's really got to stop doing whatever it is she's been doing to her face (woe is the day when I go back to The Others to discover that it was like that all along), Jackman's Jackman (he seems an affable, gregarious fellow, and you can pretty much take it or leave it with him), and they have some lovely friendship chemistry but not much else. And if I were Brandon Walters, he of that lovely mane, I would turn tail and run before I ever took on another Magic Aboriginal role like that again. A child who refers to his adoptive parents as Boss and Mrs. Boss? Where do we draw the line? For a man who has supposedly left his red curtain trilogy behind, Baz Luhrmann is awfully fixated on a literal swinging one. It's pretty, but there's not much else to this one. C

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

I've said it before, but it bears repeating: one of the problems rom-coms is the tendency to demonize the love interest the audience shouldn't want the lead to end up, and this problem tends to be ratcheted up when said love interest is a woman. So you can imagine my surprise writer and star Jason Segel remembered happy, funny times with his eponymous ex (Kristen Bell) and even allowed her valid points about the difficulties in their relationships (I'd balk at someone wearing the same sweatpants everyday for a week, too). When he starts to remember the downsides to their relationship (a montage of events where he stood back and held her purse, for one), it feels earned and as natural as it would in any break up. Everyone knows from the outset that he'll end up with the lovely Mila Kunis, but it's a pleasant surprise that Bell feels like a contender. At least until a couple of reveals undo all that nice work, but you'll forgive the movie it's only real misstep. It's still got hilarious turns from Russell Brand and Kenneth the Page, after all, and you totally would go see a Dracula puppet musical. A-

Made of Honor (2008)

I watched this as a double bill with Marshall, and, while it's the worse both by comparison and in point of fact, it's not as bad as you might think. It is what you think, a sex-reversed My Best Friend's Wedding, and the sex reversal guarantees an ending reversal as well. Because I stopped watching Grey's Anatomy several seasons back, I'm free to find Patrick Dempsey, all floppy hair and twinkling blue eyes, charming again (Fun fact: I started watching Grey's for Dempsey, kind of like how I started watching House for Robert Sean Leonard. There are a handful of early 90s movies that mean a lot to me, okay?). I like Michelle Monaghan as well, and they are pretty cute together. Nothing about this movie is fresh or interesting, but sometimes being middling isn't the worst thing in the world. C

Tell No One (2006)

It's all in the tagline: "8 years ago, Alex's wife was murdered. Today, she emailed him." This French thriller, adapted by writer-director Guillaume Canet from the novel by American Harlan Coben, is exactly as exciting as you find that premise. At the very least, it's mildly intriguing, right? François Cluzet goes on the hunt for the truth about his wife's murder, loosening the foundations of several people's lives in the process. Though neither the direction nor the writing are perfect (particularly egregious is the music video early on that disrupts the flow of the movie), Cluzet is fantastic as the still grieving widower, and Kristin Scott Thomas (perhaps practicing her French for I've loved you so long) is particularly welcome as his only supportive friend. Having never read the novel, I can't speak to the adaptation, but, as a movie, it's pretty good. B

Stop-Loss (2008)

While I'm certain that there's a story to be told about soldiers who get stop-lossed (that is, called back to duty just when they are set to be discharge based on the needs of the service) and Kimberly Pierce may even be the director to do it, Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish aren't the actors for it. Cornish's attempts at an American accent and her man voice do nothing to alievate her lack of affect, and Phillippe's never been the most expressive actor (although he does seem the right type to solider). Perhaps subing out Phillippe for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who handles the film's most compelling plot with the aplomb we've come to expect, would have produced better results. Aside from her imperfect leads, Pierce's film tends toward the obvious, but it's also smart, patriotic, and occasionally quietly moving (the digital collages made by the soldiers themselves are perhaps the movie's pinnacle). B+

Kung Fu Panda (2008)

I probably wouldn't have seen this at all if we weren't already at the theatre and all in the mood to see another movie, but there you have it. What all the celebrity voices bring to the table I couldn't tell you (will a six year old even recognize Jolie, much less David Cross?), but it's fun and funny, necessary components for any worthwhile kids' flick, as well as beautiful to look at, smart, and just a little smart-mouthed. It's got a simple message (boiled down, you could call it "be yourself") that it handles with a fair amount of subtlety. In short, if your niece or nephew wants to rent it, you could do worse. A lot worse. A-

Drillbit Taylor (2008) could be one of those worse things. My hopes were briefly raised after my nephew put it on when I saw both Stephen Root and Danny R. McBride's names go by, but they petered out shortly thereafter. They scored their sole laugh from me in a cameo from Adam Baldwin that surely went over every head but my mother's. There's just something unfunny and downright creepy about a homeless man who tries to swill abused teens out of their money. It could be darkly funny, but the movie doesn't set that tone, and it's all downhill from there. C

"What you see are the things in its path -- objects and particles and dust --, and you see them because they reflect the light."

Want to reflect on the year that was in cinema? Let me help you out with my list of things to remember in my latest Culture article.

Over in the advice column, Miss Smartypants tackles Twilight Moms, Canadian spelling, and job opportunities. Keep sending your questions to advice@culturemagazine.ca.

Pop Culture Round Up: August 23 - 29

Kitties need to rock, too.

It claims it was published on the 21st, but I am certain I have read this somewhere before.

Everyone wants Jay Baruchel now, too. Well, everyone except 24 Heures Montréal. They saw some "Ray Baruchel" kid in Tropic Thunder.*

Hey, remember when Italian cinema was experiencing a Renaissance that we didn't know it needed? Now we apparently need to worry if it will last.

Ha! I can't wait to see how crazy hateful this might turn out.

And equally funny (fake) Sorkin news.

WTF, Sara? The Women, Ghost Town, and Lakeview Terrace all look fucking terrible.

This was not as exciting as I wanted it to be. Dan's with some new chick? Whatever.

"You will note: there is a rampant high tide of colonisation." I have noticed that, actually!

Lamenting silence.

I originally misinterpreted this subtitle to mean convention as in rule or method instead of convention as in meeting, so I was like, "What, using parliamentary rules of debate?"

Why does Orlando Bloom feature so heavily in this trailer? Is there a person alive who associates him with that city in particular?

I did think that this rumour might be "totally awesome," for about half a second.

Sadly, none of these are Ms. Hauser, Veronica's angry, theiving, racist Health teacher. Or Professor Landry, her adulterous, murderous criminology professor. Or Mr. Rook, her molesting Ancient History teacher. Wow, there weren't a lot of good teachers on that show.

Funny, recent Woody Allen.

Gear up for fall with NY Mag's Fall Movie Preview.

OMG, this is totally true.

Find out what made the cut as "the scariest disaster movie of the decade." Hint: it's got polar bears!

Cattle and deer have a sixth sense! Beware!

Having read the AV Club's Fall TV Preview, I can safely name of number of new shows I plan to check out: 3. And I'm expecting two of those to suck.

Jennie and Shannen hate the new 90210? Check it out for yourself. They kind of do.

That's all great and good if you live in the US. When will Hulu be available here?

I'm pretty sure we're just stuck on anyone who can successfully live outside the law.

How mean does it make me to find this ever-so-slightly amusing?

Well, yeah, Kiefer. Also, spoilers!

Bye, Dan! I'll miss you, and I'm sorry I didn't read the Vulture back when you made that video because it is killer.

Rob's Amazing Poem Generator** came up with a Feria Films poem:

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*Print only, apparently. Couldn't seem to find this online.
**This makes me want to generate a poem for pretty much every review now.

Pineapple Express (2008)

Story: While waiting to serve a subpoena to Ted Jones (Gary Cole), Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) witness Ted murder someone, tosses his roach out the window, and heads to his dealer, Saul (James Franco), for help. Realizing that they could be identified by the rare weed Dale was smoking (Pineapple Express), as Ted is its only supplier, Dale and Saul go on the run.

Seeing this makes me wish everyone in the extended Apatow family would sit down for a seminar about why some of the movies bearing his stamp are better than others.

The second feature from screenwriting duo Evan Goldberg and Rogen doesn't quite have the heart of Superbad, but it's inspired in its own right, especially in the casting of Franco as the dizzy, childlike Saul, who's just dealing drugs to keep his bubbie in a nice retirement home. It also finds inspiration in director David Gordon Green, best known for his indie tone poems (which I don't entirely get), who manages to bring personalized style and flair to the sometimes visually bland Apatow factory.

There's a lot to like, actually, from Ted's relationship with Carol (Rosie Perez), his cop on the take, to Kevin Corrigan's L'Oreal Man Pouf, but the best part might be Danny R. McBride as Red, the middle man between Ted and Saul. His hilariously deft take on a guy who can't quite figure out what side to be on should be the launch of a long and storied supporting actor career.

Perhaps the only knock against this movie is the long and somewhat indifferently shot violent, slapstick, gross out third act though it includes plenty of well done references to Hot Fuzz. On the other hand, I love that they stick to their roots in the finale with no one discovering hidden potential. The movie nails the details of not only stoner culture (from Dale's monologue/rant on how pot makes everything better to the pitch perfect breakfast scene that closes the movie) but also of 20 somethings culture. B+

Superbad (2007)

Premise: With two weeks left of high school and the prospect of heading off to different colleges looming over them, Seth (Jonah Hill) convinces Evan (Michael Cera) that they only way they are going to get with their respective crushes, Jules (Emma Stone) and Becca (Martha MacIssac), is to use Fogell's (Christopher Mintz-Plassse) fake ID to buy the alcohol for Jules' party.

In true into-the-night teen sex comedy style (ah, the films of my youth!), procuring said alcohol and arriving at said party are activities fraught with hilarious difficulty.

I'm a little concerned that I am going to start gushing about this movie any second now, so maybe I should say a few things to temper myself. Occasionally, Hill is more yell-y than funny. Also, I doubt this movie would work if you were in the wrong mood. The best comedies can generally turn any mood into a happy one (I was certainly in need of one when I saw this pic), but I can see how someone might be in a nasty mood and turn against Seth and Evan.

Okay, saying I could see "how" was a little generous. I can see it happening, but I'm not entirely sure I am capable of understanding why someone wouldn't start giggling during the funktastic 70s-style opening credits and keep on giggling right through to the end. I know I did. In fact, there were moments when it was really obvious that I found the movie far more funny than pretty much everyone else in the theatre, and those moments were slightly uncomfortable but mostly sad. To be honest, it kind of reminded me of the roommates I once had that thought it was strange to laugh out loud if no one else was laughing (e.g. if you were reading a book by yourself in your room).

If you're going to watch this movie (and you should), you've got to go ahead and get in a place beforehand where you've accepted what movie you are going to see. You've got to remember that these are the guys who made The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. As funny and sweet as those movies were (and they were, let's be honest), they weren't exactly what one might call "highbrow." Then you have to remember that they've moved the age group back from 40 to 20-ish to high school. Have you got all that in mind? Good. Now go see the movie. Stop sitting there and go out. We'll talk when you get back.

Are you back? No, really, go.

And we're back. Michael Cera has the best delivery and comic timing of any person alive. I challenge you to find anyone else capable of selling absolutely every joke he's handed, especially when it involves singing the Guess Who's "These Eyes." Cera's Evan is as sweet as he is awkward, and it makes him a perfect match for Hill's outrageous Seth.

While Seth has a tendency to rage and push every situation to its illogical, extreme conclusion, Hill bases Seth's actions in his very real need to find a way to cement his friendship with Evan before he loses him. It's sad, and it leads to a lot of messed up stuff, but it's also real and hilarious for that very reason.

All of which adds up to . . . Seth Rogen rocks much harder than the rest of us. He pretty much has to, what with he and co-writer Evan Goldberg being two of the funniest people around today. He and Bill Hader, as the police officers that take Fogell on his very own into-the-night adventure, provide a fine balance to Seth and Evan's increasingly bizarre antics. After all, they have just as important a point to prove.

And director Greg Mottola, a veteran of both Undeclared and Arrested Development, has his work cut out for him in trying to put an individual stamp on the Apatow Productions powerhouse. Between those two shows, combining awkward with sweet and getting hilarious as a result must be his bread-and-butter. He certainly made it look like it here.

Admit it -- you're glad you got up from your computer and went to see this one, aren't you? I'm going to see you on the street tomorrow in your McLovin'* tee. I'd suggest quoting it, but it was so profane that it had different lines just for the ads. Let's just nod and giggle in that insider way that makes people want to know what we are on about. If we do it just right, we can revive the teen comedy and bin those [Blank] Movies that have been masquerading in their place. A-

*The best part is the apostrophe.

Knocked Up (2007)

Premise: Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl) is promoted at E!, and she heads out for the night with her sister, Debbie (Leslie Mann), to celebrate. Alison meets cute with Ben Stone (Seth Rogen) while he is out with his stoner roomies (Jason Segel, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, and Martin Starr). Eight weeks later, Alison is preggers.

Hurrah! I have returned from my little hiatus refreshed and ready to review. Miss me no longer, gentle reader. I'm back.

Naturally, I'm back with some sweet Judd Apatow (writer/director here) action. Yes, people, naturally. I have a love for M. Apatow that knows no bounds. F&G rocked, I own Undeclared, and I spent weeks begging my friends to go see The 40-Year-Old Virgin with me. He's the main delivery service for an addiction known as Seth Rogen (Ken! Ron!).

First of all, he's cute. Secondly, and most importantly, he's funny. He's wonderfully sarcastic, and he obviously can see the humour in a lot of different things, like the first time you get sick away from home. All in all, Rogen made a great TV boyfriend, and it seems he is on his way to make a great movie boyfriend.

Oh, Heigl, they really made Izzie reprehensible this season, no? It's too bad 'cause Izzie was my favourite intern. Of course, no matter what ridiculous speech the writers throw at you, you carry it off with aplomb, as you are far, far more talented than they seem to realize. You are also a delight here with deft comedic timing and a winsome screen presence. You know, in addition to being really hot. Hope there's more big screen roles in your future, as I am about ready to abandon the show you currently call home.

Much like with the outlandish Virgin premise, Apatow succeeds in taking something that, by all
rights, is creepy and icky and turning it into something hilarious and sweet. Carrell's subtle performance did it for the first, and Rogen and Heigl's budding relationship, contrasted with Debbie and Pete (Paul Rudd)'s marital strife, does it for the second. It's too bad about the way that the abortion discussion gets the bum's rush, but, in a movie whose premise is so clearly stated in the title, what do you really expect?

Anyway, must be time to go read what Dana Stevens says they got wrong about women. I'm sure I'll be incensed when I am finished. Until then, I remain enraptured. A-

Stay (2005)

Summary: Henry Letham (Ryan Gosling) announces to his psychiatrist, Sam Foster (Ewan McGregor), his plan to kill himself in three days, which is also his 21^st birthday. Sam slowly becomes obsessed with saving Henry and trying to figure out why he would kill himself, but Sam is reluctant to discuss the case with his girlfriend Lila (Naomi Watts), who previously attempted suicide.

Alternate title: Why Marc Forster, David Benioff, and Ewan McGregor and I need to have a little talk.

Second alternate title: Why Ryan Gosling should give up the charade and call me already.

Let's start with the usual fall guy, at least from my POV: the writer. Benioff, I have to ask you one thing: What happened to you? Minus the ten minutes in the middle I've yet to see, I loved 25^th Hour. Maybe I'm partial because I love "talky" movies in the first place or maybe it was the cast. Who knows?

Oh, wait, I do. It was two little words that are often viewed with contempt at the box office: character development. Good, old fashioned character development. The way you subtly manoeuvre every character, so s/he is forced to betray their true selves by the end. That was what I liked about you.

Even more improbably, I liked your version of Troy. I mean, no one liked Troy. Just me, those obsessed with sword and sandal epics, and those in need of some pretty boy slash fic inspiration. In which case they are better off watching The WB.

So what are you doing to me here? Either do something high concept, or do something twisty (not to be confused with twisted - get your minds out of the slash gutter), but you cannot effectively do both simultaneously. Personally, I dig this whole short-time period experimental thing you've got going on. Real changes happen to real people so slowly that they are usual imperceptible until the end. To speed them up, you put them in a pressure cooker: an unavoidable dark period looming on the horizon.

As for this crap, I don't know what to tell ya. The little remarks you wrote, the quiet back-and-forth barbs, the seemingly throw away moments, those worked. They were good. Heck, I even laughed. More on that later.

The rest of it, though? I don't know why you had to be so pseudo-complex. We could all see what was going on. And yet, you never seem to put all the puzzle pieces together properly. Funny how it all works out, isn't it? So, dear heart, go back to your novel, and read it over. I know it's your own work but read it as though it was not. Your characterization and character development are still some of the best around. Unfortunately, no one wants to see the plot development come to a dead halt because of it.

Moving right along, I'm now looking at you, Forster. What's your deal? You make Monster's Ball; everyone loves you. You make Finding Neverland, which I loved, but everyone did not. It felt forced to them. Unnatural. Not true to life. Inert, even. You can see why they might balk, right?

Nonetheless, you seem to have a gift with child actors and grown ups alike. Why that doesn't translate to your story telling, well, that's your problem. Actually, it's my problem since I keep watching your movies. Listen up: take what you do with actors and apply it to the story. Maybe even try putting the story first. Stop giving everything away with heavy handed foreshadowing and ham fisted "symbolism." Given how much you do it, it detracts from the story rather than helping it along.

Ah, now you, Ewan. Yes, I like to call you by your first name. Sweetie, why do you make movies? You don't seem to like it very much. You usually seem to bored or uninspired. Your too short pants here don't help. Aside from a few key scenes with Gosling, and I know that's reason enough right there, I don't get why you're doing this. Taken all together, you've given me 5 performances and one line that I've seen you wake up for. I think you need to take some time off or something. Keep riding the motorbike around the world. You seem to like that very much.

Ryan Gosling. There you are, dear Ryan. Appearing at a time when there are so few celebrity crushes worth having nowadays. Rockin' it harder than I thought possible back when you were on Breaker High. And then, even more implausibly, Young Hercules. Minus Remember the Titans, which I can easily forget, you disappeared off my radar for a few years. And then you reappeared in also somewhat lamentable Murder By Numbers, proving that you could supply the HoYay with the vapid Michael Pitt and make being a killer seem, well, damn sexy. You were a bad boy in spades. Of course, that didn't stop you from turning in compelling performances in the vastly different pictures. Suddenly, you've become someone I feel it necessary to watch. You're fast becomng dispensable in my stable of actors on whose quality work I can rely.

Plus you're so pretty! And Canadian! Now, if only you could find a project to work on with Seth Rogen, another crush worthy Canadian.

In the mean time, you are doing it again. You take a character threatening violence, claiming responsibility for the deaths of others, and you make him so vulnerable. Henry is helplessly wading through a world only he can see or understand, trying his best to navigate Sam through without damage. Even though he's busy with all that, he manages to find time for hilarious one liners (I particularly enjoyed it when he denounced the work of every other visual arts student as crap), as well as smolder at Sam when needed. The fact that McGregor occasionally seems enlivened by this passion speaks volumes about your acting prowess.

You always elevate the material with that passion (it must be passion for your craft), but it's not enough to overcome the limitations of the rest of the cast and crew. C+