Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

Outline: Allow me to give you the tagline: “For the good of all men, and the love of one woman, he fought to uphold justice by breaking the law.” Oh, too funny. But seriously, Robin of Locksley (Kevin Costner) returns home from the crusades with Azeem (Morgan Freeman), a Moor who must save Robin’s life to repay his debt, to find that his father has been murdered and his home burned. After killing six officers of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Alan Rickman), Robin goes into hiding in Sherwood Forest, where he is befriended by the “outlaws” hiding there and encourages them, as their leader, to rise up against their oppression. Oh, yeah, the girl: Maid Marion (Mary Stuart Mastrantonio).

So, we watched this movie the other day after I was accused of owning too many “girly movies.” Notice that I spelt girly with a ‘y’ not an ‘ie’. Those are different kids of movies. In any case, I didn’t realize that critically acclaimed was a pseudonym for “girly.” Apparently, I am mistaken.

Who cares? This movie is awesome. I’m surprised that I haven’t reviewed it yet. When I first saw it when I was little, I thought it was very scary. Very, very scary. Now that I am older, I realize how very funny it actually is. Serious, this movie is hilarious.

A feat I attribute almost exclusively to the dry British humour of Rickman. Much of the way he plays the character is a caricature of the medieval villain, but he occasionally slips in some subtle delivery that just tortures me when I catch it.

I suppose, technically, I should attribute it to the writers Pen Densham and John Watson. The thing is, though, while the movie is pretty good, the dialogue has times when it’s a little too much. Sure, Rickman seems to relish these moments, and Morgan is a class act that can’t be beat, but some of the other actors flounder in these moments.

By some of the other actors, I pretty much mean Costner. What’s his deal? He’s a lot like Keanu Reeves in my mind. Can he act? I don’t know. Maybe. I see movies where I think he’s really good, but I can’t tell if it’s him or a combination of other factors. Then, I see movies where he seems to really suck, but it’s still the same conundrum as before.

Oh, and Mastrantonio, well, I really don’t like her. She’s whiney, jumpy, screamy, and useless as Maid Marion. I much prefer versions where Marion is a scraper just like Robin. I bet she was, too. She pretty much had to be in a country rife with civil warfare.

I was going to talk about director Kevin Reynolds here, but that’s not half as important as Michael Kamen, the composer. This score is honestly one of the best scores ever written. It’s beautiful and powerful. Who else can write such fantastic oboe and horn parts? Thank you, Kamen, for never relying on only strings and winds to express emotion. Unfortunately for movie goers everywhere, Kamen passed away last year. I, for one, am going to miss him.

Oh, okay, I’ll talk about Reynolds. He’s got a thing for historical fiction, as evidenced by The Count of Monte Cristo and the upcoming Tristan and Isode. His direction is pretty middle of the road. He has a great eye, but he has yet to display the capacity to push his actors to great performances.

You know what? Who in their right mind thinks that a movie with a Bryan Adams song isn’t a girly movie?