Pop Culture Round Up: December 13 - 19

Zombie romances and rock'n'roll vampires? Sign me up!

Yay! Who's up for a road trip?

That just seems silly. If you're getting paid, what's the point?

I'm telling you, it follows me around! This one appeared in an email that I was legitimately forwarded at work. And someone sent me this one. Good points, though.

I remain dubious.

Excellent. I can think of a good number of movies that would be improved by drinking.

Gak!

Could our criticism in crisis series be drawing to a close or is this an anomaly?

That makes sense.

Sure, if you live in the U.S.

Aw. Well, maybe. Nah, it's Rudd and Segel. Aw.

This is news?

I'd go to that.

Is that it? Really? Should I feel bad?

Sad.

'Tis the season:

The Guardian's most ridiculous plots.

There's always one.

Toronto Film Critics Association Awards.

AV Club's Year in Film. And their worst of the year. And a bonus crosstalk! I've missed crosstalks.

SAG nominees.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008 - ?)

Last TV Thursday I told you about one of two shows competing for my Monday at eight attention. Now I shall tell you about the other.

Terminator (or T:TSCC, as I sometimes call it) came on at the exact right time: pretty much every other show that I watched and loved had disappeared thanks to the writers' strike (remember that?), and, hey, we all loved T2, didn't we? Plus, Lena Headey was in 300, Thomas Dekker played Zach on the only good season of Heroes, and Summer Glau rules. Should be alright.

And it is. It's exactly okay enough that you can watch comfortably without anyone (either the audience or the writers) taking anything too seriously. But there's always been something a little off about it, and it's not just the way that Cameron's (Glau) ability to act human varies wildly from episode to episode to suit the plot's needs.

At first, I thought it was Dekker. I didn't like his emo bangs or the whiny "Mommy, save me from the apocalypse!" attitude that went along with them. I can't imagine it's pleasant to have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but man up already. I never got why it was considered a good idea to put John in school, much less Cameron there "for his protection," and I honestly wondered how the writers were going to turn the little git into the warrior he was meant to be. Finally this season, John killed a guy (which they waited to confirm for several episodes as though it wasn't obvious), cropped his hair, and decided he was done with school. It looked like they were getting on the right track, but instead the development turned into John Connor - Least Likely to be a Hero.

In the midst of all this, though, I realized that my problem isn't John or Dekker as John at all. My problem is right there in the title: Sarah. It's not Headey as Sarah either (although her occasional wounded-bird body language can be distracting). It's the way they write Sarah and, specifically, the fact that she can't kill a man. Back in season one, Derek (Brian Austin Green) rolled in and totally shot some guys. Sarah was all, "Oh, no, you couldn't possibly kill that sweet nerd who was totally building Skynet, could you?" And Derek said no, but he so did.

And that's the trouble with Sarah. She doesn't get, no matter how many times over it is demonstrated, that burning down people's houses and stealing their hard drives isn't enough. Sometimes you've got to man up and put a bullet in their heads. Cameron gets that because she's driven by her mission, Derek gets that because he's a solider first and foremost, and John gets that because it's his only chance for a future. But Sarah just doesn't and the writers won't do a thing about it. Part of the premise they are asking you to buy is Sarah as a total badass, and everything about her - her clothes, her hair cut, her walk, her dialogue - is meant to convey that fact. But how can you believe in someone as a badass when she can't kill someone even to protect her son?

That said, the show's not all bad. At worst, you get explosions and cool robot fights. At best, you get Cameron and Derek heavy episodes. I never thought I'd be saying this about anything involving the former David Silver, but there it is. He's grown up hot and surprisingly well acted. It's even worth putting up with Jesse (Stephanie Jacobsen, and, no offence to the actress, it's again the way she's written) just to check in with Derek. As for Glau as Cameron, she's the show's strongest element, and the best episodes are built around her ever evolving humanity. We're forced to put all of the show's philosophical and pseudo-religious underpinnings into question whenever we see her form a connection with the world around her, and it's smart of them to do so. It's just that sometimes it's too bad it's not Terminator: The Derek and Cameron Chronicles.

Milk (2008)

Premise: Harvey Milk (Sean Penn) leaves New York with his boyfriend Scott Smith (James Franco) for San Francisco. He opens a small camera shop on Castro. Little by little, he becomes more political involved, fighting for gay rights in the city. Eventually, he wins a seat on city's Board of Supervisors, making him the first openly gay politician in America.

I think I might see this again.

Is there a word for the movie version of a memoir? You know how the movie version (not adaptation, mind) of a biography is a biopic? What's the word when it's just a memoir? I sense a linguistic gap here.

I love that director Gus Van Sant and writer Dustin Lance Black chose to focus on less than a decade of Milk's life. We don't need to know what Ma and Pa Milk were like. All we need to know is what got Milk to San Francisco and what happened once he got there. That's the story: the Mayor of Castroville. He picks up Scott in the subway, he offers to show him New York's gay scene (which bars to hit, which bars to avoid). Scott tells him to quit living in the closet, and -- just like that -- he does.

If you're not already a little in love with Harvey and with Harvey and Scott together by that point, I don't know what to do with you. There's something so sweet and innocent and daring about a man who can look at his life at 40, thinking nothing of it, and decide to do something about that. All of that comes across in Penn's full-bodied performance. As good as he is, for years we have been suffering under the weight of his Big Performances, all mannered and brooding, full of actorly tics. When he breaks free of that, allowing himself to childlike, passionate, and, yes, gay, Penn gives us the performance we never realized we were waiting for all along. It's exactly who he was always meant to play.

Everyone else seems equally well cast from the dedicated but tenuous Franco as Scott to Diego Luna as Latino drama queen Jack Lira to Alison Pill as Milk's tough as nails lesbian campaign manager Anne Kronenberg. The scenes in their ramshackle campaign office (Milk's camera store, which was never much of a store to begin with) flow like quicksilver, and it's hard not to get caught up in the heady rush of just trying to make a change. But then they do (finally, finally), and we run smack into Dan White (Josh Brolin).

Brolin's been a revelation in the last year or two (Goonies never say die), and he's another walking miracle here. He takes White's little boy haircut and carries it right on down into every element of his performance: an easily angered young man who tried to steadfastly hold on to tradition when the tide decidedly turned against him. It's the kind of thing that would be noble if it weren't so evil.

All that, and it was actually Emil Hirsch's big hair, big glasses, and adorable little twink walk that captured my attention. Cleve Jones must be a force of nature.

The combination of Van Sant and Black is a special gift: in the midst of telling this deeply person-specific story, they find time for sympathy for White and room to develop the minor characters. Most of all, they make narration seem not only necessary but also right. It's Harvey's story. Why shouldn't he be the one to tell it? A-

Pop Culture Round Up: December 6 - 12

I don't rightly know what happened here this week. I had movies to review but didn't. I'll get them in sometime soon, I hope.

So long as shows are still canceled for poor ratings, yes.

I think the point is to draw a line between good natured ribbing and out-and-out teasing.

What the hell? Not only do I think Hardwicke deserves greater credit than the studio is willing to give (sounds like they want to get a sequel out so fast that they are willing to sacrifice any attempt at quality), but also do they really think this guy is going to do better? You know what? I think a woman is better suited to helm the franchise, and I find it sexist to kick one out and then call her irrational. Is there a petition I can sign?

Heh. There's just something so fabulous about Schnabel.

Download the PDF today!

Dude, I think, although those are some pretty hefty cons. Ah, who am I kidding. Someone get me a subscription for Christmas, won't you?

It's spreading. I think my earlier estimate of two years is a little on the short side, though.

I would go so crazy during the chat thing! I would forget to look up at the movie.

A) Why haven't I heard of this book before? B) Why don't I own it? C) Why hasn't anyone hired me to adapt it? I already have some great, Wizard of Oz inspired ideas.

What the crap is this? I want the one with the sweet bitchface, people.

The obsession continues: More stolen art returns.

Great because he is one of those actors that you want to break out in a big way.

This looks cool.

Generally, I use the term black list to refer to something bad, but this works, too.

Sad.

Would these things ever not work on me.

It's kind of hard not to love him. Besides, Speed is a really good movie.

I think this might be a good idea.

How nice!

Send some e-cards, then watch the puppets. I defy you not to laugh.

'Tis the season:

David Edelstein's 10 best surprised me.

Critics' Choice Award nominees.

Golden Globe nominations.

New York Film Critics Circle Awards.

Los Angeles Film Critics Awards.

Pop Culture Round Up: November 29 - December 5

I can't say I'd put many of these on my list if I took the time to make one, but I can tell you that there are some great ones in there like 48 and 15. They've even got the same quote I used last January in my Culture article!

Recently I was reminded of this glorious thing, which I stumbled upon years ago for legitimate work reasons. That job was terrible, but at least it had that.

Part of me thinks that this is terrible, and the part of me motivated by scheudenfraude hopes this blows up like David O. Russell did awhile back.

If I tried this challenge, I wouldn't need new reading material for a solid two years.

The more we learn from Anton Chigurh, the better.

The first person to get me one of these wins top prize. For reals.

This never would have happened on Slings & Arrows.

I'm a little concerned that this will be awful, but I'm going to try to hope for awesome. Or at least not sucky.

"Viva Las Vegas meets Tommy?" How have I not heard of this before?

Yay! Really yay!

Alex Kingston would be an excellent Doctor. Lobby hard!

"TIME TO SPARKLE" is my new sign off.

I was unconcerned with this rivalry this summer, but now I am jazzed about the re-release. I am going to go see it again.

Holy shit! You know who they should centre this around, don't you? Eric.

Feel free to read this if you want to bring yourself down.

Go to the source and read the entire thing if you need a laugh after the above link.

And, because it is that time again: Independent Spirit Award Nominees and National Board of Review Winners.

I know, I know you are sick of my weird love-loathe thing with Twilight, but I clicked on over to The Old Hag because I used to love it and now haven't been there in, like, for-EVAH, and what do I see? A Twilight review. I don't make a point of linking reviews, but, hey, I love what she's got to say, and I can't wait to read her linked article.

Gossip Girl (2007 - ?)

I think by now my feelings about Gossip Girl may have come across on ye olde blogge. They are simple: I love this show. I acknowledge that it's not for everyone (though I'm still working on accepting that fact).

I had heard pretty good buzz about it when it premiered, and I kept an eye on Jacob's recaplets when the show started last fall. While channel surfing one day, I discovered that the CW was rerunning episodes Sundays at six, and I watched "Dare Devil." I was completely, horribly entranced from the word go.

I am going to confess something to you now that some people know about me, some people don't, and everyone treats like it's crazy, although I think it makes about as much sense as anything else: I watch soap operas. There was a crazy time when I was juggling four; there was a low time when my combined effort added up to one. I watch about two now. My love of soap operas is threefold: 1) only the least likely thing is allowed to happen on a soap opera, 2) they are always on, and 3) I'm something of a narrative junkie. As long as there is something to read/watch/follow that mildly holds my interest, I will do just that.

Now, what does any of this have to do with GG? It's simple really: I love it because it's so perfectly insane. It's a soap opera on mescaline. Blair (Leighton Meester, she of the impeccable instincts and questionable headbands) can lose her prized virginity to the sluttiest guy she can find (Chuck, played to such unbelievable perfection by Ed Westwick that you might lose your mind), go through a slut spiral, fall in love with Chuck, sleep with Nate (Chace Crawford, to whom we'll come back), and have a pregnancy scandal that reveals the entire sordid affair to everyone and dethrones Queen B in one fell swoop inside of seven episodes. A lesser show would draw this out for an entire season or even longer but not GG. They've got coke whores who sell their horses for blow and murder to get to before the season's out.

Before you start thinking that that is all crazy and weird and you want none of it, don't front with me. From Les Liaisons Dangerous on down, we plebes have been obsessed with what happens when you can afford to buy not only everything you need but also anything you want. All GG does every episode is look at a bunch of people who have wealth and power and say, "Now what?"

Of course, none of this would work if you couldn't believe that any human being, real or imagined, would do any of the crazy shit that goes down from week to week, and that is exactly where Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage, et al. got it right. Teens treat pretty much everything that happens to them as life or death, so you've got to find actors who will play things that way without ever once winking at the camera, and, in that respect, this show is perfectly cast. Perhaps even more than perfectly because everyone pretty much goes for broke all the time. When you look at a wildly crazy construct like Chuck, your instinct would be to play him for laughs (as Em said, that's what happened with some of Edward's intensity in movie-Twilight). Instead, despite the deliciously deranged get ups and the insane lines, Westwick plays him like this is what would naturally happen to you if you were brought up the way Chuck was. Somehow you find yourself thinking that yes, this is just how I would have turned out if that had happened to me.

Even when you think you can pinpoint the weak link (say, Crawford or Taylor Momsen as Jenny), if you pause to consider who that character is and who that character is supposed to be, you end up believing that someone as blank as Crawford can be plays Nate exactly the way Nate should be played. He's fiercely loyal when it comes to his family, he was raised to basically not go around embarrassing them, and everything else just sort of falls by the wayside. When he plum forgets the girl that he and Dan (Penn Badgley) had a total threeway with weeks earlier and then laughs it off, you realize that Crawford is playing it exactly right. And as for Momsen, last season was sort of touch and go, but this year she is hitting it out of the park. Jenny believes that every chance is her last chance, and Momsen plays that urgency so well that even as you are like, "Damn, Jenny, get a hold of yourself," part of you still thinks, "Shit! Make it work!"

It doesn't help that Chris and Jessica are completely obsessed with the show to the point where they renamed the tag "The Greatest Show of Our Time." Nor does it help that Jacob refers to it as the same in his philosophical, mood-altering, possibly life-changing recaps. It's hard to imagine that you could dislike anything that Jacob writes about given the way he writes. He pours so much passion and imagination into simply trying to explain to you what he sees happening and how that may or may not be exactly what's going on in your life that I think if the show went off the rails to the point where I should hate it, Jacob's recaps would completely blind me to that fact.

To be honest, as much as I want to tell you about this show I love so much, I have struggled massively not to repeat that which Jacob has already said in more detail and with a better vocabulary. Think of it this way: everyone is pretty and crazy and only the most deranged shit happens in any given episode, but it's always ground in real, accessible, believable human emotion. If anything, it's exactly the show that Heroes pretends it is.

"Actually, Billy Idol stole his look from . . . "

As promised, part two of my daring foray into telling you which movies to see continues in my latest Culture article, "December Movie Guide." (Blew your mind with that title, didn't I?)

Because I know you are all dying to read more of my opinion on the subject of Twilight, I also have a Book vs Film up in the Books section.

On the downside, Miss Smartypants took a little early holiday vacation this month so no new advice column. Keep sending your questions to advice@culturemagazine.ca. She'll be back before you know it.

JCVD (2008)

Summary: While at home in Belgium, Jean-Claude Van Damme (self) is taken hostage along with several others in a daylight post office robbery.

This movie is cool. It's not perfect, it's not even particularly substantial, but, for a mediation on fame and responsibility, it's cool.

The movie makes a point of drawing a direct parallel with Dog Day Afternoon (Zinedine Soualem is styled to look exactly like John Cazale) though it's unclear where it wants to go with that parallel, which is pretty much the problem. I found the jumbled time line, lighting, and photography closer to Before the Devil Knows You're Dead.* It's a good movie to ape, although I think the time line (i.e., release date to release date) makes it unlikely that that's what co-writer and director Mabrouk El Mechri and co-writers Fédéric Bénudis and Christophe Turpin had in mind. Too bad.

What happens to a person when you become less of a box office draw and more of a punchline is enough fodder for a movie to begin with, so you'd think that adding the hostage twist to the story of a former action star would be over the top. Somehow, though, it's not. Somehow it feels just right.

Van Damme plays the role just right as well. It's not something you could imagine happening to Stallone or Segal. There's a certain resigned air that he carries from the outside world into the situation that suits him there. He worries for his own life, he wonders how he can use a robber's fan worship against him, he tries to help the other hostages inasmuch as he can. But mostly he takes it all in with a kind of sighed, "I suppose it was always going to be this way." It's effecting, so much so that even as your rational side recognizes the obvious manipulations behind his big monologue, you find yourself moved. By his "oh, yeah, that" head tap at the end of the movie, it's hard not to smile wryly in agreement. B-

*Huh - those are both Sidney Lumet movies. Wonder what that's about.