The Short Take: Neglect 2009 - Part IV

Turns out it will soon be time to move to the couch. It is not yet time.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Went to see this movie out of movie-related boredom. Said everything I need to say about it here. D

District 9 (2009)

This is one of those movies I wish hadn't fallen through the cracks of my massive lack of reviewing because it was one of the best movies of 2009. It's powerful, well-acted, and completely different from what you thought it was: ballsy, political conscious, and graphically violent. A smart movie with the power to surprise? That is something. A-

Whip It (2009)

I always want to put an exclamation point at the end of the title, and that's pretty much the review right there. The movie is never more than its girl-power tagline, "Be Your Own Hero," but, as girl-power movies go, that's a pretty good thing to be. Drew Barrymore makes for an assured presence behind the camera. Now if someone could just explain to me what the legal difference is between 18 and 21 in Texas inasmuch as you apparently can't legally consent to participate in roller derby until you are 21, that would be great. Because I'm pretty sure you're a legal adult at 18, so one of the movie's big conflicts sort of deflated for that reason. But, you know, otherwise cute and you go, girl and all that. B

The Hangover (2009)

I was so sure I had already reviewed this one, but, since it's one of the most popular movies this year, I'm pretty sure you've already seen it. You don't need me to tell you that it's funny (particularly Mike Tyson and a discussion about renaming roofies), but not the funniest shit ever warranting a sequel and, like, a girl version and whatever the crap else. It's sort of an one-note thing to begin with, okay? B-

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

Sadly, I told someone I had already reviewed this movie. That turned out not to be true. Sorry, Ames! I mentioned this exact scenario to my best friend, and she asked, "What would you say about it?" Well, I would say that it is inventive, particularly the two Ikea set pieces, Joseph Gordon-Levitt's dance number, and the reality divorcing from expectations. I would also say that it wears its devotion to The Catcher in the Rye a little too on its sleeve, that Tom (Gordon-Levitt) is a dough head, and that I would call Summer (Zooey Deschanel) a bitch, but that last remark wouldn't be fair. The movie prevents you from ever getting to know her in any meaningful way, so it's not right to blame Summer for that. Insight ultimately squandered on characters unworthy of it. B

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

I had to go see this movie as part of a bargain, and the other person turned to me when it was over to apologize. Seriously. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, are you hurting for money? Come over, and I will make you a sandwich next time. We'll figure something out. Bring Christopher Eccelston with you. D-

Now it's time to move to the couch.