The Short Take: 2009 Crappy Movie Round Up

So we already had to do this once already, but we're going to do it again. I'm looking at this pile of ticket stubs, and that's what I think we should do. Let's get to it:

Knowing (2009)

If you saw this movie, it's pretty much because you think watching Nicolas Cage go crazy is funny (for this I also recommend Moonstruck). It's too bad that he has to spend a good portion of the movie not being crazy, as it's quite the stretch, but he gets there eventually, and then Rose Byrne actually yells, "We've got to think of the children!" As ridiculous end of the world movies by directors who made a couple of good movies a while ago, this is one of the better ones. Marco Beltrami's winking, pseudo-Hermann/Hitchcockian score certainly helps. C-

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

It's a shame that this movie is dumb, boring, and not nearly as scary as is should be, as Kyle Gallner should really be more famous by now. He's an excellent actor and does not disappoint here, and his scenes with Virgina Madsen hint at the movie that could have been. Her scences with Martin Donovan, who I generally root for, do not. Apparently they were playing a married couple, as opposed to siblings, which is what I thought for much of the movie. Like so much of the movie, this is in no way evident or clear. Good work, team! D+

Duplicity (2009)

One of these days I'm going to write an article called, "The Problem with Tony Gilroy." Here's a preview: In his emphasis on impressive opening and closing sequences, on smart casting, and on sharp, playful dialogue, writer-director Tony Gilroy often misses a movie's most important element: plot. Things have to add up, Tony. Looking and sounding pretty doesn't cut it. C+

Fast & Furious (2009)

Cars go fast, Vin Diesel is furious (and kind of awesome), Paul Walker still can't act. What? I don't think anything else opened that weekend. What else explains the box office take? Fine, MILD SPOILER ALERT: the movie loses its best assest early on, and it's all downhill from there. But the beginning in the Dominician? That's a good movie right there. C