Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

Short: As Sue (Jessica Alba) and Reed's (Ioan Gruffudd) wedding day approaches, a series of unnatural phenomena and giant craters begin opening up around the world. The Silver Surfer (voiced by Laurence Fishburne) heralds the world's end, leaving Johnny (Chris Evans) and Ben (Michael Chiklis) contemplating the few moments they have left, while the Four attempt to stop the apocalypse.

Judging by the first, I didn't see this sequel coming. I've never even bothered watching it again. It was bad, it was seen, it was over with. But you gross over $300 million world wide and that means we mean more of you? Fine. And I'll probably go see a third movie if you crank one out.

Back when it was the main movie in the AV Club's cinema section, they called it the movie that everyone saw and no one liked. I don't know anyone other than Em and I who've admitted to seeing it, much less seeing it in the theatre.

For those of you who did see it (I know you're out there), if you can imagine a sequel exactly the same as the first movie, you can imagine what you see here. Alba maintains a lack of expression rivaled only the confusion in Gruffudd's performance. Chiklis again gives the only believable performance, and his relationship with Evans is the only subtle and nuance point the film has going for it. Evans will probably never be an actor known for his range, but, what can do, he does well.

I do appreciate the hammy elements that Julian McMahon brings to the screen. That's why we all watch nip/tuck anyway, right?

As with the freshman outing, Don Payne and Mark Frost's screenplay raises more questions than it could ever dream of answering, and Tim Story's non-direction and lack of personal style make this (dare I say it?) franchise as bargain basement as they come. D

To be honest, you're probably more likely to get a more honest and enjoyable Fantastic Four experience reading this Inventory than seeing the movie. I mean, Nixon tells off Reed Richards? Doesn't get better.