Jarhead (2005)

Plan: Having gotten lost on the way to college, Swoff (Jake Gyllenhaal) joins the US Marine Corps. Under the tutelage of Staff Sgt. Sykes (Jamie Foxx), Swoff becomes a sniper, and he forms a grudging friendship with fellow sniper Troy (Peter Sarsgaard). Their training leads them the Saudi Arabian border at the beginning on the first Gulf War and eventually into combat in Kuwait.

Yup, I choose an image of a scene that never takes place in the movie. I see it in pretty much every commercial, but it never happens. There's actually quote of a few images I've seen promoted that I never saw on the big screen.

That bugs.

Way back in 1999, Joaquin Phoenix and Tobey Maguire faced off 2 Stars, 1 Slot style. Inexplicably, though understandably, Maguire won that round. (Personally, I think that time has shown that they simply aren't vying after the same slot). By 2004, Maguire had another long lashed thespian chipping away at his claim to fame: Jake Gyllenhaal. They went after the same roles (Gyllenhaal was slated to take over web-slinging duties when it appeared that Maguire would have to bow out of Spidey 2 for health reasons; Maguire lost this role to Gyllenhaal). Again, inexplicably but understandably, in this 2 Stars, 1 Slot battle, Gyllenhaal took home the title.

Should he have won? Well, Gyllenhaal's got two movies out in as many months, while Maguire's got none. On the other hand, if you seriously want to pit their 2004 summer blockbusters against each other, you must have it in for Gyllenhaal.

More importantly, if they are interchangeable, then you should be able to imagine Phoenix or Maguire dancing around in nothing but two Santa hats. What's that? Phoenix would never? Maguire would, but you wouldn't want him to? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I think it's an age thing. (Phoenix and Maguire are less than year apart, but the youngest still has five years on Gyllenhaal).

Alright, the movie.

The main problem plaguing adaptations is the reliance on voice over. If the actors can do their jobs, a voice over shouldn't be necessary. Sometimes it helps to elevate the material, but it rarely seems necessary.

I bring this problem up because it affected Gyllenhaal's performance. There are scenes, whole chunks of the movie, where he doesn't bother trying because he knows a voice over will sort it all out later. Later, as the VOs become sparser, Gyllenhaal turns on the charisma and pathos, but it's not enough for me to forgive his earlier failings, even if his new physique remains awfully distracting.

If I am to choose my favourite actor from the movie with a double 'a' in his name, it's going to be Sarsgaard. Jason McBride posited that he may be the John Malkovich of the next generation, and his laconic delivery and droopy eye lids certainly suggest as much. Sarsgaard isn't sexy because he's a big ball of sensitivity and pain like Gyllenhaal. Rather, he's sexy because he's so damn apathetic. Like him or don't - he doesn't care. Don't want to go see this movie of his opening this weekend? He doesn't care. He's got another one opening a few doors down the hall in your local Cineplex. Of course, once he's subdued you with his opaque carefree ways, he's going to explode in a rage that, although you never saw it coming, manages to seem perfectly natural.

Foxx conveys energy and hilarious enthusiasm as someone who loves his job; Dennis Haysbert shows up to give one of the best performances of his career (yes, in five minutes. Take that, Dame Dench! You needed nine!); Lucas Black reappears to my surprise and pleasure; and I now believe that it is required by law for every war movie to contain a character Fowler and for him to be a fuck-up (get your leg up there, Fowler!). Chris Cooper does his old pals Mendes and Gyllenhaal a props and gets the funniest line in the whole movie during his three minutes. I, too, will maintain a constant state of suspicious alertness.

It's too bad that Sam Mendes (director), William Broyles Jr. (screenwriter), and Thomas Newman (composer) all suck. Mendes and Broyles attempt to make a war movie, in part, about war movies (i.e. Apocalypse Now, The Deer Hunter, Full Metal Jacket), but it never cements. And, again, they should be making a satirical comparison to the situation Swoff et al was facing then and the situation in the Gulf now, but they never make it over the hump. For a novel based solely in the horrors of war (or the more painful horror of waiting for it), the movie never gets past glorifying the violence it's supposed to be against.

As for Newman, well, remember all those times I accused you of being able to write only one score? I'm sorry about that. I was wrong. You can write another score. You can write one that doesn't at all suit the movie, doesn't elevate the scenes, and is, in fact, counter productive. Good work, Thomas. You're a winner.

And so it is. Mendes has squandered the good will engendered to him from his one critical success. The rest of you should be alright, though. B