Pop Culture Round Up: May 16-29

I was going to post some of these last week, but I realized that I only have five links and promptly lost the other ones I was going to add. They were about Chace Crawford and Footloose and how I am totally going to see that now. I think you can imagine the missing words.

This prompted a lengthy discussion as to whether or not he looked more or less vampirific. Guess which side I came down on?

Read my Sherlock Holmes trailer-related thoughts.

Get distracted my reading my blog. It's good for you.

The great IMAX swindle continues apace.

I guess I won't watch it after all.

This week in excellent news for lazy people: Perfectionism Linked to Early Death.

Hmm. I have mixed feelings about him.

I watched the mini-season and quite liked it, though I thought more Homicide than Hill Street Blues.

The original rake?

How else will you know that you're better than everyone else? On the other hand, it is free.

Dude has either not read the book or is desperate to film a sex scene.

I am morbidly fascinated and hope Perry can fit in a cameo.

I would read this.

I got all excited that they are making a movie, then sad that it's not with Edgar Wright, then excited about the comedy powerhouse.

I believe he also later wore an eye patch.

"Loving music, to a critic, cannot simply mean bestowing praise." It also means burns!

And, apropos of nothing, vampire abs.

17 Again (2009)

Back when this movie was heavily advertised, my feelings were equally split between thinking it looked terrible and thinking it looked cute. My curiosity won out. Fortunately, so did cute.

Zac Efron's basically doing a Matthew Perry impression for much of the movie, but there are worse ways to go with the role. He's got to break out somehow, so why not as everyone's favourite Friend? Sure, despite the fact that he's 21, I'm completely uncomfortable with the sight of his shiny, bronzed, hairless chest* (he is a child! put your clothes on!). Even so, he generates some serious heat with Leslie Mann (who wouldn't?), and he has a genuinely likeable screen presence. It will be nice if that translates to success outside of musicals as well.**

Of course, writer Jason Filardi's got this little problem where he can't tell the difference between 17 and 20, so he doesn't realize that if you had a child 20 years ago, that child would not be 17 today. It's completely distracting if you are the kind of person who gets hung up on that sort of thing, and I am exactly that person. Fortunately Michelle Trachtenberg rules (esp. on Gossip Girl), so it all comes clean in the wash.

He's also got this problem with sexual politics and can't seem to make up his mind about what position he wants to take. He ends up backing two horses: abstinence and marrying your high school sweetheart should you knock her up. Why isn't safe sex an option? What about oral and toys and a host of other options out there? Alright, I might be pushing it a little for a movie rated PG-13. I should just be happy that they acknowledged condoms.

All in all, it's a cute little movie about a guy who learns to stop being such a dick, which is a pleasant change as far as rom-coms go. Plus, you know, cute. B

*Unlike Hunter Parrish's chest, which we don't see at all but really should have.

**Though I would be all for a musical revival if one were to suddenly develop, MGM-style.

The Short Take: 2009 Crappy Movie Round Up

So we already had to do this once already, but we're going to do it again. I'm looking at this pile of ticket stubs, and that's what I think we should do. Let's get to it:

Knowing (2009)

If you saw this movie, it's pretty much because you think watching Nicolas Cage go crazy is funny (for this I also recommend Moonstruck). It's too bad that he has to spend a good portion of the movie not being crazy, as it's quite the stretch, but he gets there eventually, and then Rose Byrne actually yells, "We've got to think of the children!" As ridiculous end of the world movies by directors who made a couple of good movies a while ago, this is one of the better ones. Marco Beltrami's winking, pseudo-Hermann/Hitchcockian score certainly helps. C-

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

It's a shame that this movie is dumb, boring, and not nearly as scary as is should be, as Kyle Gallner should really be more famous by now. He's an excellent actor and does not disappoint here, and his scenes with Virgina Madsen hint at the movie that could have been. Her scences with Martin Donovan, who I generally root for, do not. Apparently they were playing a married couple, as opposed to siblings, which is what I thought for much of the movie. Like so much of the movie, this is in no way evident or clear. Good work, team! D+

Duplicity (2009)

One of these days I'm going to write an article called, "The Problem with Tony Gilroy." Here's a preview: In his emphasis on impressive opening and closing sequences, on smart casting, and on sharp, playful dialogue, writer-director Tony Gilroy often misses a movie's most important element: plot. Things have to add up, Tony. Looking and sounding pretty doesn't cut it. C+

Fast & Furious (2009)

Cars go fast, Vin Diesel is furious (and kind of awesome), Paul Walker still can't act. What? I don't think anything else opened that weekend. What else explains the box office take? Fine, MILD SPOILER ALERT: the movie loses its best assest early on, and it's all downhill from there. But the beginning in the Dominician? That's a good movie right there. C

Pop Culture Round Up: May 9 - 15

Sad.

I hope he goes!

Dudes, sometimes technology is too awesome. It makes me want to get a SoundBot and find out what it would produce for, say, the 1812 Overture vs Prokofiev's Classical Symphony or Moonlight Sonata.

I did not so much care for this, but I think I'll end up watching it. A lot of my other favourites have been canceled/ended recently.

Heh. I love this kind of story. "We've got no clue!"

Aziz Ansari vs IMAX. That's my kind of beef.

Perhaps that's where the script belongs?

My opinion of Hulu will be "Fuck Hulu" until it is fully available in Canada.

I'm sure I'll watch the crap out of this show, but could they have found a more ridiculous picture of Jamie?

It's too bad that I decided to give up on Weeds after last season. I think Andy realizing his love for Nancy might have been the last straw for me.

"We're smack dab in the middle of the Age of Immediacy." J.J. Abrams thinks that sucks.

Do you think she was inspired by The Last of the Mohicans?

This has to be one of the most hilarious takedowns I have read in a long time. Personally, I tried reading Dougland Coupland once (Polaroids from the Dead) and found it painful.

Great, but who will star in it?

Yay! That's almost enough to get me to watch.

"The science of voodoo: When mind attacks body" DUN!

What for? I like that book, but, seriously, what for? It's a complete story!

I'm starting to think that the best adaptations are actually the ones that capture the spirit of the book and its themes will creating a wholly new work of art on its own terms.

If it weren't Children's Choice, I would seriously wonder.

Hmm. Whatever happened to Cameron Crowe? Is he in exile?

"I tore these out of your symbol, and they turned into paper."

Just like I tore a bunch of symbols out of The Boondock Saints, and they probably didn't turn into anything. Still a movie, I believe. It's all there in my latest Culture article.

Will I ever blog again? Oh, how I hope so. Many movies, good and bad, that I would love to tell you about, gentle reader. Some day.

Pop Culture Round Up: May 2-8

"A vampire heartthrob will face off against an ambitious chai wallah." Did anyone else laugh?

Actually, every time I see a commercial for the news with him now, and I yell, "Not for long!" My neighbours must hate me.

Potential badass alert!

I dig.

Why must we wait so long? I cannot wait to see what goes down. Merger! Suicide! Wedding!

Slate gets into a beef with Foreign Policy about international relations movies. Now there's a subgenre you don't read about every day.

Oh, they are delicious in their insanity.

"There is no great genius without a tincture of madness."

Oh, no, it's a fake head!

Heh.

Lily but not Cece? You don't know the half of it.

Start planning now.

Pop Culture Round Up: April 25 - May 1

Probably. I'm probably not going to pick up an e-reader any time soon, but I think you may be overreacting, NY Times.

"I’m a Post-Paper Evolution Consultant." How do I get a title like that?

I still like it.

You know, I don't think I've ever done that. I'm more likely to make a scoffing noise.

Sad.

Yay! Will he grow a mustache? Wait, what about Damages next season?

I wouldn't have known the answers to all these questions either.

Not only can you read it (drunk?), you can watch it!

This seems a little outdated. Aren't we all convinced of the horror of Wall Street at this point?

I'm weirdly excited about this. Look at young Ken Olin!

"Stoner is the new stud / Because losers become winners in this world of Judd."

That's a strange Photoshopped image, no? And yay, Canada!

Read this. And then this. I mean, seriously, "Talese is sitting under the naked lady with the rainbow vagina." How can you not want to know more?

First semi-colons and now exclamation marks. They're hot for punctuation at the Guardian.

Why? Isn't the novel originally in English anyway?

Can you beat my score? It was mind blowing.

I agree with the general point, but the definition sounds closer to "twee" to me than "kitsch." Maybe shifting definitions have something to do with it?

State of Play (2009)

This movie's better than the reviews might lead you to believe. It's taut and well put together, and Russell Crowe's still a dream of an actor (though perhaps not of a person).

The main complaint I saw in reviews was Ben Affleck's casting as the philandering, cuckolded Representative Stephen Collins and former college roommate of Crowe's wildly unethical and intensely dedicated reporter Cal McAffrey, which is exactly the wrong kind of criticism to read. At every turn, Affleck's casting seemed exactly right. There wasn't a scene or nuance that wasn't believable from him. That is, unfortunately, until the very last. How horrible for a finely crafted performance to fall short in the exact moment it needs to rise above.

And rise above is what most of this movie fails to do. There's a lot of sitting around a computer watching others type. Though typing is a fairly large percentage of any writing job, it's rarely exciting to watch. Hilariously, the movie refuses to let us even so much as read over Cal's shoulder for very long and never gives voice to his actual text. We're meant to take his single-minded pursuit of his story as evidence of his writing prowess.

The other thing the movie fails to do is give us a delightfully sleazy Jason Bateman in every scene. I haven't seen him in a single ad, which is a mistake. He owns his screen time. I only wish he had had a scene with the criminally underused Helen Mirren. She's a dream of an editor, capable of defending her writers and cutting them down in the same stroke.

There's the usual paranoia over the internet and blogging as death to journalism (particularly ridiculous is the notion that it should be an insane point of pride to share a byline in a print edition when one already has one's own blog with a major daily), and it's made slightly worse by the fact that Rachel McAdams, who I generally enjoy, starts out strong but finishes bland. There's an adorable scene with a pen necklace that almost makes up for it, but I wished that we could have spent more time with Robin Wright Penn as Collins' wife Anne. Now there's a performance that suggests a lot with only a little to go on.

Director Kevin Macdonald and screenwriters Matthew Michael Carnahan, Tony Gilroy, and Billy Ray want desperately to make their own 70s political thriller (suggested with Wright Penn's wardrobe, as pointed out by eagle-eyed Emily; made ridiculously obvious by pinning up a photo of Woodward and Berstein at Cal's desk). While it's full of the right kind of bon mots, they are exactly the kind of bon mots that don't hold up if you take a minute to parse them. Cal makes a crack about working at the paper for 15 years on a 16 year-old computer, and you chuckle, but then you wonder what he had to do to hang onto said computer when everyone else was going through mandatory updates. I doubt it's what Macdonald et al meant for you to wonder about. B-

"What was once your first-draft, grade-A choice from your parents as a gift becomes... socks."

Unlike my first-draft, grade-A choice in our Hollywood Fantasy Draft, who was . . . well, I'll let you read it for yourself. What's a fantasy draft? Steve, Kevin, Joe, and I each drafted ten actors for our fantasy studios. At the end of the year, we'll tally up box office receipts, nominations, and award wins to see who is the Sausage King of Chicago.* I mean, the Studio King. This link will bring you to Round 1-3. More rounds will go up throughout the week. I'll keep you posted.

*Subject to laziness.

Pop Culture Round-Up: April 18-24

Oh, good. I've always wanted to know.

Because we're still stuck on All the President's Men?

Whoo! Take that, criticism in crisis.

Can it be resurrected as a movie instead? Or a mini-series? Or, you know, a TV show?

You know, I'm still not sure I want to see this as a movie.

Huh. Of course, if they really wanted to do this list right, it'd be Billy Connolly and Joe Morton at the top.

Hmm.

Everyone's just looking to cash in, aren't they?

Take that, slump! Make the rich richer. Oh, proletariat, how could you?

Squee! One can only hope.

Aw.

Holy crap. Out of print books? This is the revolution calling.

Won't get any arguments with a Supernatural movie 'round here. Not that we're getting one, mind.

Like most things Twilight-related, overwrought and unnecessary.

Dude, those books are going to be killer.

I'm a little confused because I thought someone was already hired for the job, but, hey, I guess he knows vampires. Do you think he'll find a role for movie-boyfriend Ben Foster?

Pop Culture Round Up: April 4 - 17

I had one ready for last Friday, but I didn't have time to publish. Ah, well, I'll do better soon.

Are there still young critics? Okay, I know the answer to that, so I hope the answer is soon.

This is going to be great.

I haven't made up my mind if that's kind of awesome or just Neil LaBute's woman-hating fault.

Didn't we learn anything from Eternal Sunshine?

YAY! I will happily stay home Saturday nights for The Piemaker.

Number 10's probably my favourite even though I'm pretty sure it takes place over one day.

Mapping the Cultural Buzz: How Cool Is That?

It's like Golden Girls starring men.

I think it makes us feel like we're all hanging in there, and we're all in it together.

Heh. Yup, that's all.

I rocked it, and so can you. It may surprise you to learn that I rocked this one even harder.

I hope Harry Hamlin gets a cameo.

I am so confused by this news. It seems antithetical.

It's kind of Apocalyptic, but I like it.

More returned art!

I believe it.

We should should what, exactly? Stop making disaster movies in order to protect children's imaginations? Your point is beyond me, Lisa Kennedy.

Aw, yeah. Covering his werewolf and now his vampire bases. I hope zombies are up soon.

You're not the only ones left wondering what this means for next season.

“I’m reading it going, ‘Really, we’re going to put fucking shark in Jason’s spine and he thinks it’s going to work?’ ”

"The story is allegedly a loose retelling of the 16th U.S. president's life story — embellished with the notion that he is also a highly skilled vampire slayer." Yes. I love it.

While I'm pretty sure that Julian would be dead, I'd still watch it.

"Turns out, Milton was more rebellious and politically left than I realized. He was a risk-taker. He was arrested and imprisoned. Thanks, in part, to Andrew Marvell, he barely escaped a death sentence." Dudes, Milton. Milton. Can you believe it?

Hip-hop theatre! That excites me.

It's the movie choices that save it.

I don't know how they do it, but the tie-in products continue to be genius.

I Love You, Man (2009)

I'm just going to come out with it and tell you that I love Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. I might love Rudd just a little bit more (can you believe he's 40?) (also, sorry, Segel). While I'm glad that their latest outing didn't go to a weird woman hating place like their last one, I do wish Rashida Jones and Jamie Pressley had a little more to do. Even so, there's something here that anyone over the age of 22 can identify with: how do you make friends post-college?

For all the brouhaha over the man dates and the best man crunch, all director and co-writer John Hamburg is addressing is the difficulty of making friends without school to bind you. For some reason there's this whole extra level of awkward to go along with it after graduation, and Hamburg taps into that via Rudd so virulently that even as you laugh, you cringe (the nexus of the best comedy). Rudd's always been one to go the extra mile for a joke (that's what makes his outburst in Wet Hot American Summer so damn funny), and the way he hits everything not one beat off but two sells how uncomfortable it would be to try to find not only a new friend but also a best friend.

Segel plays off Rudd wonderfully, all loose energy and phony masculinity. I wish he'd do something about that hair but otherwise love him, too.

Of course, there is a little something off here: Zooey and Peter have been dating for years. She would have noticed by now that he doesn't have any male friends and that his best friend is his mom (although who can blame him since his mom is Jane Curtin). She would have noticed, she would have been concerned, and she would have said something. When people don't have any friends, no matter how great they are, it says something. Something like "crazypants." Although Andy Samberg and J.K. Simmons are so adorable as Peter's gay brother and his dad who became the brother's best friend by learning to be okay with his gay son ("I love my dead gay son!"), that it's almost worth it.

Now if they could have only worked in more scenes with Jon Favreau playing against type as a man's man who argues his wife into sexual favours. Those two should have a sitcom. B+

"Ain't no nostalgia to this shit here. There's just the street and the game and what happen here today."

So true. Just like the lack of nostalgia I feel for Dr. Strangelove, the subject of my latest Culture article. You'll get closer to the things I feel nostalgic about if you check out my latest YouTube picks. And, as always, there is Miss Smartypants's advice, updated Mondays. This month, in honour of Earth Day, she tackles all green questions. You can send your questions, green or otherwise, to advice@culturemagazine.ca.

Cadillac Records (2008)

I went to see Cadillac Records when it opened here. It chronicles the rise and fall of Chess Records, legendary Chicago-based record label, and co-founder Leonard Chess' (Adrien Brody) rise and fall right along with it. I say co-founder because Leonard Chess founded the studio with his brother Phil, who is, hilariously, nowhere to be found in the movie.*

Writer-director Darnell Martin's work plays about as fast and loose with the truth as it does with logic. Leonard has this on-going, never-consummated love affair with Etta James (Beyoncé Knowles), and, while I am not disputing the possibility of such an affair in real life, it's so ridiculously drawn on the screen. There's a short sequence where he goes from having sad, workman-like sex with his wife (Emmanuelle Chriqui), to running over to Etta's when she's overdosed, to kissing Etta while she's still coming down, to getting caught, to saying to Muddy Waters (the always fantastic Jeffrey Wright), "What if I told you I have feelings for her?" in the span of about 10 minutes. "What if?" Dude, you should be able to do better than a hypothetical at that point. No sooner has that flared up than it disappears.

That little vignette is exemplary of the problem with most of the plot points, to be honest. Martin consistently brings up wrong doing on the part of Chess, whether it's how he got his start in the record business or how he treated his artists that got him there, but it refuses to engage with him on that level beyond mentioning these things. How are we supposed to feel about that? I like it when movies don't judge their characters (cf Rachel Getting Married), but you have to give everyone a valid point to be able to do it properly. We don't even have the slightest idea how Chess may have felt about the charges laid against him, and I'm not ready to lay that at Brody's feet.

The flip side, of course, is the performances and the singing. I'd never thought I'd say this, but, if hearing Beyoncé sing "All I Could Do Was Cry" doesn't bring a frisson to your spine, you're heartless. Who knew she could sing like that? Who knew she could act like that? All the hurt and resentment James could pack into her voice is right there on screen. Wright shows up to remind us what a brilliant character actor he is, Eamonn Walker is a particularly inspired Howlin' Wolf, and Colombus Short's Little Walter is full of fire. It's Mos Def's Chuck Berry that injects the movie with style and fun. B

*Norman Reedus is credited as "Chess," but he's got, like, one line. If that was supposed to be Phil, maybe someone should have called him that. Oh, no, wait, Shiloh Fernandez is credited as Phil Chess. No, sorry, no. I literally do not remember him in a single scene. Does he have any lines? Also, why is Norman Reedus also credited as Chess?

Watchmen (2009)

I've already wrote and published my Book vs. Film, so I don't want to repeat too much of what I said there. I saw the movie before I had finished the novel, I wrote and published the article, and then I saw it again. The other night a friend said to me that she thought my criticism of the interpretation was too harsh. Perhaps.

It's not that I didn't like the movie. If I hadn't read the novel beforehand, I'm sure I would have quite liked it. The opening montage, which catches us up on the first generation of masked adventures, set to Bob Dylan's "The Times, They Are A-Changin'", is quite possibly the best part of the movie. Even if you aren't familiar with the source material, it captures the sort of nostalgic feeling (the classic, pain from an old wound kind) that permeates the novel.

When Ozymandias says that he made himself feel every death, the first time around I whispered, "How?" Ozymandias in the book surely could have found a way. The second time I simply frowned. I like Matthew Goode, but he's too small and young for this role. He seems too much like he's playing at being a grown up, unable to live up to the body building genius that Moore created.

Two friends who had never picked up the novel saw the movie. One called it boring; the other complained that there are too many flashbacks. I don't agree with either criticism, nor did I find the movie Edelstein's "an awe-inspiring corpse." Something does get lost in the interpretation, though I think I hit it right when I said that it's the psychology that's missing. The thing that made Rorschach (the perfectly cast Jackie Earl Haley) Rorschach wasn't burying a meat cleaver into a murderer's head. It was the moment he realized that he could use the indifference of good people in his favour. It's a startling notion in the book that never materializes in the movie.

Still, the movie's not anywhere near as bad as I am no doubt making it sound. It's nothing short of a tremendous visual feat, and there are plenty of sly references for all the fanboys (the screens at the TV studio from the beginning of the movie read S.Q.U.I.D. at the end, the song references at the end of the chapters are woven into the bitchin' soundtrack). I think, in the end, that Zach Synder's heart's in the right place. The novel's world - its paranoia, its fears, its teetering on the brink of destruction from seemingly every angle - remains preserved. Some of the contents may have shifted during flight, so fanboys and girls will just have to remember to open carefully. But there's a lot to uncover if you do open up. B

P.S. Dr. Manhattan's huge, swinging dick really is distracting, though.

Pop Culture Round Up: March 28 - April 3

Sometimes the headline says it all: Cheese book wins over monkey manual for oddest book title prize

Thanks for coming. Now eat some popcorn!

Two more years! Two more years!

Initially all I saw was "Sweeney Todd co-star," and I got so excited for pretty much any one in that movie doing anything. Do you think he'll sing?

Sad.

Secret face!

I think this might be worse than the time they gave away my passport. Oh, man.

"He was quite lecherous. But he was lecherous to all the girls." One would hope!

Will it star Dan and Chuck? Don't you think it should? Well, I suppose they're a bit young.

Criticism in crisis continues: An orchestra gets a critic fired for not liking their conductor.

That's punacceptable!

Want you back, want you back, want you back for good.

"The findings support a neurobiological hypothesis for why impoverished children consistently fare worse than their middle-class counterparts in school, and eventually in life."

Oh, I'm so surprised by who he's sitting next to.

Pop Culture Round Up: March 14 - 27

Whoo! Two weeks worth of news! Only not because I haven't had time to read much these days. Even so, I do have a little something for ya.

Russian movie industry in grips of big chill.

"Museum numbers are up, because, quite suddenly, museums aren't much like museums."

Sad. I quite liked him on The West Wing.

Yay! This was one of my two favourite shows when I was young.

Why choose?

"After complaining for years of unfair or insensitive reviews, they have come to the realization that the only thing worse than getting criticized is being ignored."

"It's a delicate balancing act: Make enough titles to fill the pipeline, but not so many that they drown each other, as happened in 2007 and again last year."

This casting is crazy.

Yay! I bet he doesn't use auto tune.

Heh.

There's a pairing I wouldn't have seen coming.

"There’s pretty good evidence that we generally don’t truly want good information — but rather information that confirms our prejudices."

What, what? I'm going to check this out.

Ha? This doesn't look so good.

Way to stay on the ball. Also, leave him alone. He's a national treasure.

"Even as talent and money cross borders, the studios are finding out that negotiating the distance between Burbank and Bollywood is trickier than expected."

This shouldn't be funny, but it kind of is.

"In a marketing culture so perfectly calibrated that experts can predict what's in our fridge by the car we drive, why is it that what women want in a movie is still considered mysterious?"

"It is all too easy for a female actor to find herself cast as the mother of someone who once played her boyfriend as soon as she blows out the candles on her 35th birthday cake."

Exactly.

Guess they're trying to cover all their vampire bases?

I want to read this now.

Hee!

Oh, how I do love it.

Pop Culture Round Up: March 7 - 13

Because they feared Liam Neeson coming after them?

I rocked this thing.

That would be cool, but how would you find out about new shows? Channel surfing is still important.

Yay! I think I am okay with this. You`re welcome.

Wow, do I ever want to read this now. There`s so much I`m missing out on! This, too!

While I am quite excited that David Edelstein is blogging again, this addition so threw me that I don`t recall even finishing the sentence. What?

I finally got around to watching this, and it looks great.

Let`s go!

I hope so!

This is beautiful.

Is it me, or is there something wonky with Lenin`s eyes?

Why must this be so ridiculous?

Ha!

Really? Okay.

Is there?

This is the best thing I read all week.

Pop Culture Round Up: February 28 - March 6

I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I'm leaning toward negatively at the moment.

Aw, they want to forget their troubles!

Nothing this cool ever happens at my office.

Yes? Listen, I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm all for criticism, but why would lack thereof equal no book culture? It's not like the publishing industry, English majors, and book clubs have ceased to exist.

Is it me, or does Paul Rudd look hot in this photo?

Ha! I knew those Baby Einstein DVDs were a crock. Another good reason to steer clear.

Well, yeah. When else can you call your friends and yell "Holy shit!"?

Continued obsession: Tracking down Nazi art booty. Yeah, that's what I just said.

I'm not quite at this point yet with the show, but Sars is right about the way pretty every conversation goes lately.

Oh, how I want to see it.

There are about 500 million things you could read about Watchmen this week, but I'd recommend this one.

Reactions to this headline: Shock, disbelief, suspicion that the Fug Girls were lying to me. Reactions to photo: Mild anxiety, as Vampire Boy suddenly looks kind of like ex-co-worker that I occasionally run into in the streets.

I think I may be reaching the saturation point on my anti-obsession as I didn't immediately clamour for one of these. Mind you, if it were actually like she described, I would want one so bad.

I do kind of want this.

Truth: I've only read two of these. I don't recall lying about the rest, mind.

I know it's supposed to sound hard and discouraging, but I thought, "Cool job."

I'm down with this casting, but the job is preposterous. It's a stupid contrivance entirely to cause friction. They are old money, for pete's sake!

The casting of this movie is getting surreal, but I kind of think it could end up being awesome.

Trailer insanity:

Terminator: Salvation

500 Days of Summer

Wolverine

Public Enemies

The Limits of Control

The Short Take: 2009 so far

Bearing in mind that January and February are generally a cinematic wasteland that people use to get caught up on awards fare, there's sometimes a gem in the bunch, an Eternal Sunshine or In Bruges. This year, not so much, hence the capsule reviews.

My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Reason: Jensen Ackles

Yes, we went for the Ackles. It's a known fact that I rarely watch horror movies in part because I scare easily and in part because I don't have the stomach for gore. I've started to get over both in recent years, and, more importantly, Ackles should really be a lot more famous than he is. Probably not for this movie, in which we learn that even pregnant women aren't safe in horror movies any more, but generally he should be. Aside from the Ackles, Edi Gathegi, and the brief moments when I considered it possible that Jamie King was the killer (spoiler: she's not), there's little to recommend it. D

Push (2009)

Reason: Chris Evans

Okay, not really. I like Evans, but I wouldn't go to a movie just for him. I actually decided to go because the AV Club claimed it was not that bad, and it turns out they were right. Dakota Fanning's the best part of the movie as its emotional core, and the relationship between her and Evans is surprisingly sweet and believable. There's enough style and moody blues to keep your interest even when the story doesn't (makes them super soldiers how?). Camilla Belle's spangly suit didn't do any one any favours, though. B

Taken (2008)

Reason: Liam Neeson

Oh, again not really. It did turn out that he is the only reason to see this movie, but we also needed to get out of the house. If we get to see famous original Ruby and hear Neeson shout, "This is not the time for a dick measuring contest, Stuart!", so much the better. Other pluses include the hilariously short running time (91 minutes), and the important take home lesson that if you incur incredible amounts of damage, kill foreign nationals, and uncover a sex slave ring*, France will send you home with a pat on the back. C

*You know, the kind made up of affluent white Westerners.

The International (2009)

Reason: Clive Owen (for reals this time)

If you were thinking that what you'd really like to see is Naomi Watts and Owen slumming it for no discernible reason with nothing but risible dialogue between them, have I ever got a movie for you. It's as though someone made a full length version of Superfluous Indifference. The current economic climate adds a patina of relevance to the proceedings, so it's too bad that it wears off pretty quickly. The shoot out in the Guggenheim goes like gangbusters, but in the end you're left with nothing but the distinct feeling that Watts, Owen, and Armin Mueller-Stahl deserve a lot better. C

Friday the 13th (2009)

Reason: Jared Padalecki

Since pretty much everyone I know that watches Supernatural is a Dean-girl, I've got this complex called, "I'm not even a Sam-girl, but you guys are making one due to your insane love of Dean." One might also call it unnecessary pity, as no one is kicking The Chest out of bed for eating crackers. Aside from the fact that Padalecki wears far fewer layers than he does in the average episode and I was reminded that Ryan Hansen exists, there is no reason to see yet another horror remake. Now let's do something about that hair. D