She's Out of My League (2010)

I went into this one with my eyes open but perhaps too wide: I fully expected this movie to suck horribly. Basically, I thought I would go see it because I like Jay Baruchel, I would like him in it, and that would be the end of it. Surprisingly, it's not.

It's not high above* the level of suckage I initially anticipated, and that's not necessarily a knock against it. It does play like a raunchy, less carefully plotted version of The 40 Year-Old Virgin, and I think a lot more work needed to go into Kirk's (Baruchel) friend circle. Devon (Nate Torrence), the married-young-and-still-innocent one, and Jack (Mike Vogel), the ladies' man (maybe?), were ill-defined but still more likable than Stainer (T.J. Miller), who gets the majority of the screen time and seemingly holds stronger sway over Kirk for reasons that are again unclear. Aside from the fact that they all work at the same place, I couldn't really get a handle on the bond between them, and I think it damaged the movie overall because Kirk's relationship with his friends plays a big role in his perception and handling of his relationship with Molly (Alice Eve).

In case the broadsheet didn't make it clear, the entire plot is found in its tagline: How can a 10 go for a 5? Eve's quite sweet in the role, and there's an awkward chemistry between her and Baruchel that rings true. Beneath the sex-farce, there's a better movie about the value of confidence and its ability to overcome a host of real and perceived relationship shortcomings. Aside from two drawn-out "set piece" jokes that would have been best left on the cutting room floor, though, the finished product isn't too far off from that idea. C

Also, Krysten Ritter (Gia of V-Mars fame) totally rocks as the bitchy best friend.

*Was "She's So High Above Me" on the soundtrack? Yes, yes it was.

"You can't be gay for one person. Unless you're a lady. And you meet Ellen."

Oh, Lemon, you are wrong on that account. You can be plenty gay for just one person. It happens on damn near every TV show I watch. That's why my latest Culture article is a HoYay round up.

And if you're not keeping up with the advice column, you probably have no idea how to deal with the first of May. Send your May Day questions or questions about any other day of the year to advice@culturemagazine.ca.

Pop Culture Round Up: March 14 - 27

Whoo! Two weeks worth of news! Only not because I haven't had time to read much these days. Even so, I do have a little something for ya.

Russian movie industry in grips of big chill.

"Museum numbers are up, because, quite suddenly, museums aren't much like museums."

Sad. I quite liked him on The West Wing.

Yay! This was one of my two favourite shows when I was young.

Why choose?

"After complaining for years of unfair or insensitive reviews, they have come to the realization that the only thing worse than getting criticized is being ignored."

"It's a delicate balancing act: Make enough titles to fill the pipeline, but not so many that they drown each other, as happened in 2007 and again last year."

This casting is crazy.

Yay! I bet he doesn't use auto tune.

Heh.

There's a pairing I wouldn't have seen coming.

"There’s pretty good evidence that we generally don’t truly want good information — but rather information that confirms our prejudices."

What, what? I'm going to check this out.

Ha? This doesn't look so good.

Way to stay on the ball. Also, leave him alone. He's a national treasure.

"Even as talent and money cross borders, the studios are finding out that negotiating the distance between Burbank and Bollywood is trickier than expected."

This shouldn't be funny, but it kind of is.

"In a marketing culture so perfectly calibrated that experts can predict what's in our fridge by the car we drive, why is it that what women want in a movie is still considered mysterious?"

"It is all too easy for a female actor to find herself cast as the mother of someone who once played her boyfriend as soon as she blows out the candles on her 35th birthday cake."

Exactly.

Guess they're trying to cover all their vampire bases?

I want to read this now.

Hee!

Oh, how I do love it.

The Short Take: 2009 so far

Bearing in mind that January and February are generally a cinematic wasteland that people use to get caught up on awards fare, there's sometimes a gem in the bunch, an Eternal Sunshine or In Bruges. This year, not so much, hence the capsule reviews.

My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)

Reason: Jensen Ackles

Yes, we went for the Ackles. It's a known fact that I rarely watch horror movies in part because I scare easily and in part because I don't have the stomach for gore. I've started to get over both in recent years, and, more importantly, Ackles should really be a lot more famous than he is. Probably not for this movie, in which we learn that even pregnant women aren't safe in horror movies any more, but generally he should be. Aside from the Ackles, Edi Gathegi, and the brief moments when I considered it possible that Jamie King was the killer (spoiler: she's not), there's little to recommend it. D

Push (2009)

Reason: Chris Evans

Okay, not really. I like Evans, but I wouldn't go to a movie just for him. I actually decided to go because the AV Club claimed it was not that bad, and it turns out they were right. Dakota Fanning's the best part of the movie as its emotional core, and the relationship between her and Evans is surprisingly sweet and believable. There's enough style and moody blues to keep your interest even when the story doesn't (makes them super soldiers how?). Camilla Belle's spangly suit didn't do any one any favours, though. B

Taken (2008)

Reason: Liam Neeson

Oh, again not really. It did turn out that he is the only reason to see this movie, but we also needed to get out of the house. If we get to see famous original Ruby and hear Neeson shout, "This is not the time for a dick measuring contest, Stuart!", so much the better. Other pluses include the hilariously short running time (91 minutes), and the important take home lesson that if you incur incredible amounts of damage, kill foreign nationals, and uncover a sex slave ring*, France will send you home with a pat on the back. C

*You know, the kind made up of affluent white Westerners.

The International (2009)

Reason: Clive Owen (for reals this time)

If you were thinking that what you'd really like to see is Naomi Watts and Owen slumming it for no discernible reason with nothing but risible dialogue between them, have I ever got a movie for you. It's as though someone made a full length version of Superfluous Indifference. The current economic climate adds a patina of relevance to the proceedings, so it's too bad that it wears off pretty quickly. The shoot out in the Guggenheim goes like gangbusters, but in the end you're left with nothing but the distinct feeling that Watts, Owen, and Armin Mueller-Stahl deserve a lot better. C

Friday the 13th (2009)

Reason: Jared Padalecki

Since pretty much everyone I know that watches Supernatural is a Dean-girl, I've got this complex called, "I'm not even a Sam-girl, but you guys are making one due to your insane love of Dean." One might also call it unnecessary pity, as no one is kicking The Chest out of bed for eating crackers. Aside from the fact that Padalecki wears far fewer layers than he does in the average episode and I was reminded that Ryan Hansen exists, there is no reason to see yet another horror remake. Now let's do something about that hair. D

The Short Take: 2008 Round Up

It's not 2008 anymore, I know, but I still have quite a few 2008 movies that I have yet to tell you about. It seems obvious at this point that they're not going to get full reviews. I still want to acknowledge them, though, so they get the paragraph treatment instead. Hurrah!

Blindness (2008)

Bearing in mind that Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo are pretty much always going to be good, this has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. A metaphor for the break down of communication in modern society, huh? How does that work, exactly? Let's go back to grade five and remember that a metaphor is a comparison not using like or as. So everyone loses their sight and only one seemingly ordinary woman (Moore) can still see but pretends to be blind in order to stay with her husband (Ruffalo). Okay . . . still waiting for someone to explain to me how the metaphor works. I'll give José Saramago the benefit of the doubt and guess that it works in the novel, but it doesn't come across in screenwriter Don McKellar and director Fernando Meirelles adaptation. Basically, this movie has an overlap of self-consciously arty crap (it's white blindness, so the theatre would occasionally fill with bright white light from the screen, which achieved nothing so much as taking the audience directly out of the film) and over attention to gritty details (people stopped using the washrooms and just used the hall, and not a single scene that involved walking down the hallway failed to include someone slipping in shit. I'd like to say points for continuity, but We. Get. It). We also got it when you stayed on the stray dog eating a dead person in the street for two minutes. Shut up, moive. D

Passchendaele (2008)

This movie had a lot going for it. The opening sequence was shocking. Then the movie zigged when you thought it would zag, taking you back to Alberta and focusing instead on an older officer (Paul Gross) wooing an emotionally unavailable younger nurse (Caroline Dhavernas). This part I liked. It was a little boring at times, but you could understand why he kept at it even as she pushed him away. But the movie's called Passchendaele, so you knew they had to get back to the front eventually. It was at this point, the third act, that the movie got bad. Out of nowhere, a small, well developed, character driven story became a sweeping war movie in the worst way. Now it was about CANADA, and CANADA deserves to have its story told. I'm not saying that that's not true; I'm saying that it didn't jive with what came before and was done in something of an embarrassing manner. Oh, well. I suppose writer-director-star Gross isn't perfect. C+

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

I'll just tell you how it is: I don't really get Kevin Smith. I don't dislike him or want him to come to any harm, but when I'm watching his movies, it's sort of a big meh. Part of it is that people just don't talk like that. Not in that Sorkin way where we wish we were all that erudite but in that "If I hear the words 'make love' or any derivation thereof one more time, I'm going to lose it" way. I don't believe that Zack would talk that way, and I wanted to stop such things from coming out of Seth Rogen's mouth. He's a good actor; they would sound ridiculous no matter what. And that's all it is, really: that two best friends would think making a porno is the best way to solve their financial crisis, that having sex could reveal deeper feelings, that it does, it's a workable premise. But then you throw all these other layers of shit (sometimes literal) on top of the thing, and it becomes shallow. There's humour there, but the fundamental lack of emotionality prevents the movie from ever being more than okay. B-

Changeling (2008)

Remember when Angelina Jolie got really skinny back in there? See this movie if you need a refresher. Not only does her collarbone practically cry out "feed me!", but all the veins in her hands stand out, giving her the effect of seeming fragile. Which is great when you are playing a character like Christine Collins. The trailer may give you the impression that this movie's about a lady looking for her lost son, but it's really about a lady learning to toughen up. She just also happens to be looking for her lost son. Jolie's great, but her out sized public persona prevents her from ever really disappearing into a role. It's hard to believe that she wouldn't start kicking some ass. John Malkovich is cast fantastically against type as Reverend Gustav Briegleb (I think you could get a solid short film out of him just saying that name), a firebrand so intent on taking down the corrupt police department that it's possible he only sees Christine as a means to an end. This, unfortunately, is all the nuance any character in the movie is allowed. Jeffrey Donovan, as the captain who gives Christine the wrong boy, gets all of fifteen seconds to register any doubt or remorse. No one else gets even that much. It gets the point where you want to tell the nice detective (Michael Kelly) to go easier on these kids. This just isn't it, Clint. C-

Australia (2008)

This not so much a movie as a child's fever dream of what an epic movie should be. It's bookended by a movie about the Stolen Generations, turns into a fish out of water love story about an Englishwoman (Nicole Kidman) who inherits a cattle farm in the outback and the Drover (Hugh Jackman) who helps her save the place from financial ruin, and then turns into a war drama. While there's plenty of material there, it's not convincingly much of any of these movies. Kidman's really got to stop doing whatever it is she's been doing to her face (woe is the day when I go back to The Others to discover that it was like that all along), Jackman's Jackman (he seems an affable, gregarious fellow, and you can pretty much take it or leave it with him), and they have some lovely friendship chemistry but not much else. And if I were Brandon Walters, he of that lovely mane, I would turn tail and run before I ever took on another Magic Aboriginal role like that again. A child who refers to his adoptive parents as Boss and Mrs. Boss? Where do we draw the line? For a man who has supposedly left his red curtain trilogy behind, Baz Luhrmann is awfully fixated on a literal swinging one. It's pretty, but there's not much else to this one. C

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

I've said it before, but it bears repeating: one of the problems rom-coms is the tendency to demonize the love interest the audience shouldn't want the lead to end up, and this problem tends to be ratcheted up when said love interest is a woman. So you can imagine my surprise writer and star Jason Segel remembered happy, funny times with his eponymous ex (Kristen Bell) and even allowed her valid points about the difficulties in their relationships (I'd balk at someone wearing the same sweatpants everyday for a week, too). When he starts to remember the downsides to their relationship (a montage of events where he stood back and held her purse, for one), it feels earned and as natural as it would in any break up. Everyone knows from the outset that he'll end up with the lovely Mila Kunis, but it's a pleasant surprise that Bell feels like a contender. At least until a couple of reveals undo all that nice work, but you'll forgive the movie it's only real misstep. It's still got hilarious turns from Russell Brand and Kenneth the Page, after all, and you totally would go see a Dracula puppet musical. A-

Made of Honor (2008)

I watched this as a double bill with Marshall, and, while it's the worse both by comparison and in point of fact, it's not as bad as you might think. It is what you think, a sex-reversed My Best Friend's Wedding, and the sex reversal guarantees an ending reversal as well. Because I stopped watching Grey's Anatomy several seasons back, I'm free to find Patrick Dempsey, all floppy hair and twinkling blue eyes, charming again (Fun fact: I started watching Grey's for Dempsey, kind of like how I started watching House for Robert Sean Leonard. There are a handful of early 90s movies that mean a lot to me, okay?). I like Michelle Monaghan as well, and they are pretty cute together. Nothing about this movie is fresh or interesting, but sometimes being middling isn't the worst thing in the world. C

Tell No One (2006)

It's all in the tagline: "8 years ago, Alex's wife was murdered. Today, she emailed him." This French thriller, adapted by writer-director Guillaume Canet from the novel by American Harlan Coben, is exactly as exciting as you find that premise. At the very least, it's mildly intriguing, right? François Cluzet goes on the hunt for the truth about his wife's murder, loosening the foundations of several people's lives in the process. Though neither the direction nor the writing are perfect (particularly egregious is the music video early on that disrupts the flow of the movie), Cluzet is fantastic as the still grieving widower, and Kristin Scott Thomas (perhaps practicing her French for I've loved you so long) is particularly welcome as his only supportive friend. Having never read the novel, I can't speak to the adaptation, but, as a movie, it's pretty good. B

Stop-Loss (2008)

While I'm certain that there's a story to be told about soldiers who get stop-lossed (that is, called back to duty just when they are set to be discharge based on the needs of the service) and Kimberly Pierce may even be the director to do it, Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish aren't the actors for it. Cornish's attempts at an American accent and her man voice do nothing to alievate her lack of affect, and Phillippe's never been the most expressive actor (although he does seem the right type to solider). Perhaps subing out Phillippe for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who handles the film's most compelling plot with the aplomb we've come to expect, would have produced better results. Aside from her imperfect leads, Pierce's film tends toward the obvious, but it's also smart, patriotic, and occasionally quietly moving (the digital collages made by the soldiers themselves are perhaps the movie's pinnacle). B+

Kung Fu Panda (2008)

I probably wouldn't have seen this at all if we weren't already at the theatre and all in the mood to see another movie, but there you have it. What all the celebrity voices bring to the table I couldn't tell you (will a six year old even recognize Jolie, much less David Cross?), but it's fun and funny, necessary components for any worthwhile kids' flick, as well as beautiful to look at, smart, and just a little smart-mouthed. It's got a simple message (boiled down, you could call it "be yourself") that it handles with a fair amount of subtlety. In short, if your niece or nephew wants to rent it, you could do worse. A lot worse. A-

Drillbit Taylor (2008) could be one of those worse things. My hopes were briefly raised after my nephew put it on when I saw both Stephen Root and Danny R. McBride's names go by, but they petered out shortly thereafter. They scored their sole laugh from me in a cameo from Adam Baldwin that surely went over every head but my mother's. There's just something unfunny and downright creepy about a homeless man who tries to swill abused teens out of their money. It could be darkly funny, but the movie doesn't set that tone, and it's all downhill from there. C

Pop Culture Round Up: November 29 - December 5

I can't say I'd put many of these on my list if I took the time to make one, but I can tell you that there are some great ones in there like 48 and 15. They've even got the same quote I used last January in my Culture article!

Recently I was reminded of this glorious thing, which I stumbled upon years ago for legitimate work reasons. That job was terrible, but at least it had that.

Part of me thinks that this is terrible, and the part of me motivated by scheudenfraude hopes this blows up like David O. Russell did awhile back.

If I tried this challenge, I wouldn't need new reading material for a solid two years.

The more we learn from Anton Chigurh, the better.

The first person to get me one of these wins top prize. For reals.

This never would have happened on Slings & Arrows.

I'm a little concerned that this will be awful, but I'm going to try to hope for awesome. Or at least not sucky.

"Viva Las Vegas meets Tommy?" How have I not heard of this before?

Yay! Really yay!

Alex Kingston would be an excellent Doctor. Lobby hard!

"TIME TO SPARKLE" is my new sign off.

I was unconcerned with this rivalry this summer, but now I am jazzed about the re-release. I am going to go see it again.

Holy shit! You know who they should centre this around, don't you? Eric.

Feel free to read this if you want to bring yourself down.

Go to the source and read the entire thing if you need a laugh after the above link.

And, because it is that time again: Independent Spirit Award Nominees and National Board of Review Winners.

I know, I know you are sick of my weird love-loathe thing with Twilight, but I clicked on over to The Old Hag because I used to love it and now haven't been there in, like, for-EVAH, and what do I see? A Twilight review. I don't make a point of linking reviews, but, hey, I love what she's got to say, and I can't wait to read her linked article.

Veronica Mars (2004 - 2007)

Veronica Mars (or V-mars) is the real reason I came up with TV Thursday. I re-watched all three seasons this summer. Afterward, I wanted someone to talk to about what I loved, what I missed, and my lingering issues with the show. The answer was right there before me: you, gentle reader. I can always talk to you. Not only is V-mars in my personal pantheon of favourite shows ever, but it also happens to be one of the best shows ever made. Though season three barely reached the glory of season one (surely one of the greatest seasons of any show to ever be recorded), its cancellation still stings. For me, the strength of each season is a combination of three elements: the season mystery, the supporting characters, and Veronica herself.

The creators could not have been luckier to have had Kristen Bell in the lead role. She is a genius at creating a multi-layered, believable, mature character who felt like a real teenager. Veronica was tough and jaded when we met her, making her vulnerabilities and her occasional rebellion, as well as her even more rare silliness, that much more moving.

Season one's big mystery was Lilly's (Amanda Seyfried) murder, but the murder connected to the other mysteries of Veronica's rape, her mother's disappearance, her break up with Duncan (Teddy Dunn), and even her parentage. One of that season's great strengths was that it sprinkled at least one clue about one of these mysteries, if not more, in every single episode. We always saw Veronica working to bring these mysteries to a close, and watching a teenage girl trying to solve such overwhelming cases while still dealing with being a teenage girl and solving often personal mysteries of the week (MotW) made for some pretty compelling drama.

Even in the midst of all this, the writers took time to develop the supporting characters in such a way that we cared if we saw them in the next episode. Weevil (Francis Capra IV) and Logan (Jason Dohring) were standouts that season, thanks to tremendous talent, charisma, chemistry with Bell, and links to the season mysteries (not to mention the HoYay. Oh, the HoYay was strong between those two). Weevil went beyond young thug thanks to his emotional ties to family, Veronica, and Lily, and Logan's family situation and self-destructive streak pushed him past the poor little rich boy archetype.

All of these things came to a head in the season finale when Veronica finally solved Lilly's murder: Aaron Echolls (Harry Hamlin), Logan's famous actor dad, had an affair with Lilly and killed her in a fit of rage with she threatened to go public. It was incredibly well developed (Aaron's violence, abuse, and philandering were well established over the course of the season), and it had satisfying repercussions that lasted through the rest of the show.

Season two began with a mystery carried over from season one (Felix's murder - a plotline that was once again was heavy on Logan and Weevil) and picked up a new mystery (bus crash) by the end of the season opener. Despite the fact that she early on drew the erroneous conclusion on that the bus crash was meant for her, Veronica was never particularly emotional invested in figuring out who caused it. Entire episodes could go by without any forward motion on the case, and it became difficult to see why we should care when Veronica didn't. Episodes like "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough" stood out instead because of their creative mix of MotW and character development. "I am God" provided boatloads of information about the crash, as well as a renewed fervour on Veronica's part to solve the case, but, at episode 18, it came too late in the season to spark audience interest in the same way. It didn't help that it followed "Plan B," which, for me, was the high point of the season.

"Plan B," episode 17, saw the conclusion of the Felix murder storyline. This mystery arc was far better handled than the bus crash. It was addressed in nearly every episode, had a tangible emotional involvement for two main characters (Logan and Weevil), and drew Veronica in. It showcased Logan and Weevil at their worst (Logan planting drugs) and best (Weevil's courtyard declaration). Like the conclusion of Lilly's murder, it had rich emotional and plot ramifications that rippled out for the rest of the season and the series.

Cassidy 'Beaver' Casablancas (Kyle Gallner) was by far the standout of season two, so making him ultimately responsible for the bus crash was good in theory. The writers carefully sowed the seeds of of his abuse, and it was abundantly clear that he was one seriously sad, messed up kid by the end of season two. So why, then, did they suddenly write him as a sneering villain? It was obvious that Gallner was talented enough to switch back and forth between the personae, as he did in those final scenes. It was also obvious that Beaver was very smart, so we could believe that he was a criminal mastermind/evil genius (although that stuff with Curly Moran never really added up for me). Throwing in the possibility that he murdered Keith Mars (Enrico Colantoni), Veronica's dad, was cheap. Keith and Veronica's relationship was central to the show, and there was just no way it would go on without it.

It didn't help that the last two episodes also focused on Aaron's murder trial, recalling the better handled season one mystery and manging to be risible simultaneously. That the defense would base their entire case on the idea that Veronica was a slut (I am not making this up) and that the prosecution would be absolutely unable to counter this was a slap in the face to intelligence and dedication of the audience. The two narrative reasons for the disaster of a trial were satisfactory: 1) Aaron finally confesses that he murdered Lilly to Veronica and 2) in Duncan's best move ever, he has badass motherfucker Clarence Wiedman (Christoper B. Duncan) kill Aaron; however, the trial was emblematic of the way things would go down hill in season three.

New network, new structure: season mysteries were dumped for three smaller arcs. When things didn't look good for the show, the two smaller arcs were followed by five stand alone episodes. The first arc, a serial rapist on campus, came from a realistic post-secondary place, and the culprit was handled well. The entire thing fell apart for me when Veronica revealed that Claire faked her rape and accused the Lilith House of faking the series of rapes, a charge which they did not deny. In hindsight, it's clear to me that the first two rapes were real (especially given that the first victim didn't report it), and Parker's (Julia Gonzalo) rape was real. The rest are questionable, which is murky moral territory, even for this show. That the Liliths held Pis responsible for their friend's suicide attempt and subsequent institutionalization and that they wanted restitution wasn't the problem. Even that Nish (Chastity Dotson) would draw the conclusion that the Pis were responsible and getting away with something horrible once again wasn't the problem. It was the idea that such radical feminists would chose to fake that particular crime that rankles. They knew that both Veronica and the police were on the case, and Veronica cracked the case in two episodes makes it all the more ridiculous that they would do it in the first place. Just how stupid are these girls supposed to be?

The second mystery, Dean Cyrus O'Dell's (Ed Begely, Jr.) murder, was better handled by far (sensing a pattern here?). It relied on solid detective work, and, despite the fact that Veronica is herself a rape victim and that she held herself responsible for one of the rapes, both Veronica and her dad were emotionally involved in solving the case. The case pointed clearly to two possible murderers and, in a nicely done moment, indicted a third.

Unfortunately, Veronica, the character, hit a real low point in season three. In season two she was sort of all over the map, but it tied into a believable emotional place: for two years, her life had been hell, and now it just . . . wasn't? What was she supposed to do with that? Solving Lilly's murder hadn't fixed everything, and it makes sense that it would be difficult for Veronica to move forward. One of the show's strengths was that they would let Veronica be an asshole once in a while (we all do it, after all), but they took it too far in season three. Instead of maturing and growing up in college like we would have wanted her to, Veronica started wildly jumping to conclusions in her cases (often nasty ones like when she accused Weevil of holding up the on-campus casino, even no there is no way in hell that Weevil would ever get violent with Veronica) and showing a shocking combination of indifference and judgment toward her fellow man (what was with her immediate dislike of the perfectly friendly Parker? why was she so tough on Max when he fell for a hooker? how could she not see that Piz was pining away for her?). In short, Veronica slid toward insufferableness.

When Veronica broke up with Logan for sleeping with Madison (Amanda Noret) while they were broken up because she held Madison accountable for her rape (a complete retcon), Veronica's character's low point hit its nexus with my biggest problem with the series on the whole: the complete lack of accountability for Dick's (Ryan Hansen) involvement in her rape. There were plenty of other good reasons for Veronica to dislike Madison, so there was no reason to go there. There was no indication at the time or at any point thereafter that Madison knew the drink she handed Veronica was drugged; all she thought it was laced with was saliva and sugar. Dick was the one who put the GHB in the drink; Dick had every intention of drugging and raping his girlfriend; Dick plied Veronica with alcohol after he drugged her; Dick put Beaver in the room with Veronica; and Dick told Beaver to rape her. And what does Dick get for his troubles? A busted surfboard? Fuck. I understand why the writers would want to keep Hansen on the show (he's a treasure), but, from a narrative point of view, the fact that Dick gets away with everything and that Veronica doesn't even blame him or try to ward other women off is the most glaring narrative failure on the part of the show.

The stand alone episodes were hit and miss (the first, "Un-American Graffit," is arguably the worst entry in the series), although they seemed to be pushing the show closer to a procedural and away from its noir roots that helped it command attention and critical praise in the first place. The series went out on a high note with the two-parter "Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down" and "The Bitch is Back," an episode that once again proved that a Veronica wronged is the best Veronica to watch. It also set up what could have been an interesting fourth season if they picked up where season three left off: Sheriff Van Lowe (?), the dissolution of Piz and Veronica's burgeoning relationship, the certain knowledge that Veronica and Logan remain as in love as ever. Most importantly, what would happen after Keith put himself on the line for Veronica (again) even though she lied to his face and possibly cost him the election?

We'll never know, so we'll just have to take the show for what it was: a brilliant and occasionally flawed gem, centred on a truly worthwhile protagonist, surrounded by talented and dynamic supporting players, and mounted on a seething underbelly of noir. Ah, television: sometimes you're just so damn good.

Heroes (2006 - ?)

First I saw Sarah's DVR Break-Up, and I thought, "I didn't think it was that bad." Then the rotation of TV Clubbers have been (not unfairly) hating. Couch Baron even outed the show as a soap opera. Last Monday's episode was the final straw for me.

SPOILER (ish) Alert: If you haven't already watched the episode that aired on Monday, October 13, 2008, read no further, as I intend to discuss it at length.

I talked up Heroes to pretty much everyone I knew when it premièred two ago. It was the one new show you had to watch. When it went off the rails in season two, I stuck by it, sure that it could pull itself out of its funk. When Tim Kring apologized and promised that he could do better in season three, I took him at his word. As it turns out, that was a mistake.

Last week, Hiro and Ando dug up not-at-all-dead Adam Monroe's (the always welcome David Anders) grave, thereby undoing the coolest thing that Hiro has ever done on the show (other than be Future Hiro, of course). This week, Hiro spends several of my viewing minutes popping Adam in and out of the coffin during their negotiations. Why, pray tell, did Hiro and Ando have to dig up the grave in the first place then? It's time consuming and difficult, and, as Hiro just proved in the very next scene, completely unnecessary. Exactly how brain-addled are the writers that they can't establish internal logic for a single subplot?

This development also goes against the graphic novels that have never have (and probably never will) tie into the show on air. Early this summer, back when I used to read them, an entire issue was devoted to Adam's many wives over the years, and it ended with his conviction that his current wife, whoever she might be, would rescue him. Since he was still down there when Hiro went to pick him up, that didn't happen. No doubt, we will never meet this mysterious wife nor will she be mentioned again. She can live on the Beach of Dropped Plots with Micah, Monica, and Caitlin, the girlfriend Peter is content to abandon in the future. Her family's dead, too!

Adam leads Hiro and Ando to a bar and shakes them off his tail. So Daphne shows up. Alright, fine. We've had a quite of bit of Daphne in this episode, but I don't care. I don't know a damn thing about Daphne, and I don't care if that ever changes. I liked Brea Grant on Friday Night Lights last year, but there writing's not there to back her up when it comes to Daphne. She's a construct, a cardboard cut-out, and she'll probably stay that way.

Somehow, this latest confrontation between Hiro and his "nemesis"* leads to Hiro killing Ando. For real. Hiro murdering his best friend for the greater good has the emotional devastation of a paper cut. No one stays dead on this show. If they do die, the actor just comes back as another character (hey, Ali!). That's what makes this show a soap opera. It's not that I don't loves me a soap. It's that I don't love a soap that takes itself so seriously yet never pays out.

What happens every season, really? Someone goes into the future, sees something terrible, and heads back to prevent terrible thing (explosion/world ending, virus/world ending, formula/world ending) from happening in the first place. It ends with Peter going nuclear. Maybe Peter will destroy a lab full of the formula in nuclear explosion come May sweeps.

The problem with characters changing personalities and loyalties to fit the episode's needs has been around a while and well covered elsewhere (from Monday, for example - Claire wants to take bad guys down, Claire wants to help them reunite with their families, Claire hates Sylar and wants to kill him, Claire doesn't want her dad to kill Sylar. Huh?). Let's move on to the final moment: Arthur Petrelli lives.

Listen, it's not that I don't want to more about Pa Petrelli. I'm sure that it would be interesting to know more about the early days of the Company, what Pa's power(s) might be, how he was with his sons, and what they know about him. There was an arc over several graphic novels way back in the day about how the elder Petrelli and Linderman met (short answer: Nam), which was probably my favourite. It's just that . . . reviving a character that established to be dead in the pilot? What's the point? Let's bring back the elder Suresh while we are at it. I bet he could find an antidote.

I'm probably not at the breaking point just yet; I am getting very close. I have lost any confidence that the show could take a development like that and make it exciting. They've already used it poorly: paralyzing Angela. She's one of the good (read: interesting to watch) characters! Maybe Elle can come back and zap her out of it. Sigh. I miss Kristen Bell.

*Which, Hiro is supposed to be my age, if not older, right? Adults do not talk this way. The time gap between Hiro and Future Hiro is closing, but the personality gap remains vast.

Pushing Daisies (2007 - ?)

During my TV on DVD summer gluttony, I found myself thinking that it would be nice to have a forum to talk about all these TV shows I watch. Sure, there are lots of places that I could talk about TV, but I wanted a space where I could work out my thoughts. Then I remembered my Angel post from way back in the day*, and I realized that I already have that forum! Thanks, blog!

I give you TV Thursdays, the day of the week on which I shall write about a TV show, currently airing or possibly not. My beloved Pushing Daisies came back to us last night, so it seems as good a place as any to start.

I picked up quite a few new shows last year, in some cases due to vacuums created by other, more beloved shows' cancellations (sniff, Veronica Mars) and in others due to writer's strike programming vacancies. Pushing Daisies was neither. I immediately forced two of my friends to start watching it as I was ensorcelled by the pilot (or Pie-lette, in PD speak). I could you that it appealed to me on multiple, vacant fronts: the dialogue's rat-a-tat-tat of a good Gilmore Girls episode, the mystery-of-the-week (MotW) of Veronica Mars, the surrealist bent of Dead Like Me.

Even so, to define PD by other shows would be a limiting mistake. It's thoroughly original. At its base, it's a procedural, but the MotW, while inventive, is never that important. The basics: Ned (Lee Pace) can wake the dead with a touch of his finger. A second touch makes the person dead, again, forever. If Ned doesn't administer the second touch within 60 seconds, the person lives, but someone else will die in his/her stead. That's how we got Chuck (Anna Friel), Ned's childhood sweetheart and current paramour, who walks around avoiding touching her boyfriend, so she can avoid dying again. P.I. and pop-up book enthusiast Emerson Cod (Chi McBride) uncovered Ned's secret and used it to blackmail him into becoming his business partner. On the MotW front, Ned wakes up the victim, gets the intel on the murder, and then Ned and Emerson solve the case for insurance money. It's a pretty good racket.

None of this is anywhere near as exciting as Olive (Kristen Chenoweth), the sole waitress at Ned's pie shop, The Pie Hole, and Ellen Greene and Swoosie Kurtz as Chuck's grieving aunts Vivian and Lily, respectively. Vivian and Lily Charles were, back in the day, celebrated synchronized swimmers until a rogue kitty litter accident blinded Lily in one eye, turning the sisters into a pair of cheese obsessed recluses.

Right about now you might be thinking, "How does one survive under the weight of all that quirk?" Friends, factors that combine to make the show not oppressive but transcendent:

A) Dead people. Every episode has at least one dead person, and, as bizarrely and humorously as they die, it's still murder.

B) Orphans. Ned's mother is died when he was 10, and his father abandoned him shortly thereafter. Chuck's father died when Ned tried to revive his mother, not knowing how his powers worked, and her mother died in childbirth. Except . . .

C) Season(s) long mysteries. At the end of last season we discovered that Chuck's mother didn't die in childbirth after all. In fact, she never existed! Lily is Chuck's mother, and only Olive knows the truth. Plenty of questions have been raised since that revelation, and only one was answered in last night's season premiere (Chuck's dad was Chuck's biological dad). We also learned that Emerson has a daughter, apparently estranged, and he writes pop-up books to help her someday find him.

D) Details. This show is bar none the most creative I've seen in a long while. Watch a single scene, and you will see the immense work that goes into art design. It's off the wall, old fashioned, and always detailed in such a way that weaves into story.

E) Cast. Obviously a good cast can make or break a show, and it's even more important on a show as out there as this one. It works largely because of everyone's ability to act like this is just the way things are. Sure, the script requires people to balk at something or other at least once an episode, but it's the snappy comic timing and genuine dramatic chops of the cast that make the show really sing.

I know a show centred around a pie-maker with the touch of life sounds crazy, but you'll find it's not if you give it a try. If anything, it's out of this world.

*Boy, I sure was hung up on in the idea for a made-for-TV movie. When am I going to realize that those sorts of rumours almost never come to fruition?

The Short Take: The Richard Jenkins Edition

Sometimes, shorter reviews seem much, much more reasonable than longer ones.

The Visitor (2007)

While I'm a sucker for a lot of different kinds of movies (coming of age, costume dramas, sweeping epics), I wouldn't consider the middle aged thaw out one of them. One that stars yeoman character actor Richard Jenkins, co-stars cutie Haaz Sleiman from what's probably the worst episode of Veronica Mars ever, and has some sort of illegal alien/drumming plot? I'm in. Jenkins, as is his wont, gives subtle and nuanced performance as an widowed economics professor who returns to his New York apartment after years of absence to find Zainab (Dania Jekesai Gurira) and Tarek (Sleiman) living there. He's only in town to present a paper, and, well, it's not like he's using the place, so he lets them stay. In his sophomore feature, writer-director Thomas McCarthy is surprisingly subtle in dealing with both the reasons why Jenkins would do this (he manages to drop them into conversations naturally) and with the immigration/illegal alien plot. By the time Tarek's mom (Hiam Abbass) arrives, Jenkins' gradual warming seems sweet and natural instead of strange and forced. It's not a perfect movie, but it's certainly a nice one to enjoy on a quiet day. B+

So it's too bad that Jenkins turned around and made . . .

Step Brothers (2008)

It's bad to the point where I feel I should be writing a "I Watched This on Purpose" entry after seeing it. I knew it wasn't going to be good, but I went into it thinking, "Hopefully it's not that bad." Surely it had a chance at least being "good for what it is" bad, right? That was the wrong move. It is that bad. Just plain bad. There are a lot of changes that could have made it at least enjoyable bad, like, say, making Dale (John C. Reilly) and Brennan (Will Ferrell) a solid 15 years younger. "But then they couldn't have been played by Reilly and Ferrell!" you exclaim. To which I say, "And?"

You know that comedy trope where something is funny entirely because it goes on for so long, and then it stops being funny because it's gone on for so long, and then it starts being even funnier than it originally was because it just keeps going? This plot of this movie is that joke, stretched out over an uninspired 95 minutes. It's improv gone awry. Remember that scene where they build bunk beds because it will give them so much more room to do activities and then Dale jumps up on the top bunk and the whole thing collapses on Brennan? Funny, right? Not so much. In between Dale sort of bops around in a circle listing off activities they can do in this newly freed space (sadly, I didn't hear "mixed martial arts," which would have been actually funny), while Brennan simply paces around near the beds saying, "So many activities" over and over in a vaguely-OCD manner. Ferrell, not Brennan, just seems so fatigued, like he couldn't even come up with anything better. It reeks of improved filler that exists solely to get us to the big finish, which doesn't nearly have the impact that it could have if a) it wasn't in every ad and b) we were idiots.

What does any of this have to do with Richard Jenkins? He plays one of the step parents along with the overly tanned but otherwise reliable Mary Steenburgen. I like them both, but it is impossible to sympathize with/relate to any of these characters. Why are you allowing your 40 year old children to live with you and act like 13 year olds? With nothing to relate to, there is no heart at the centre of the movie to tie it all together, a key element on the rest of the man-child movies. If it weren't for Adam Scott as Brennan's hilariously overachieving douchebag younger brother, this movie might have no redeeming value. Apatow and co. need to put this arrested development thing away and think of other ways to be funny. And, while they are at it, why don't they about writing funnier, more filled out female characters like Catherine Keener's in The 40-Year-Old Virgin (although consider the casting) and less like poor, poor Alice (Kathryn Hahn) in this outing? D

Pop Culture Round Up

This reminds me a lot of this.

Yay! So much fun.

Excited!

This list doesn't seem so long when you realize that the artists and entertainers portion of it is about one fifth.

GAK! Okay, well, it's been dying a slow death since, oh, the end of season four, but still. Also, what does this mean for my beloved Veronica Mars?

Pop Culture Round-Up XIV

I like this list fine, but it is missing what I consider to be one of the best credit sequences ever: Rescue Me. The way film speeds up and slows do to simulate riding on the truck through New York, all the while the Von Bondies' "C'mon, C'Mon" hammers home everything the show is about without ever being obvious or over the top? That's how it's done. Honorable mentions to Veronica Mars and Weeds.

Grant Guimont wants to tell you about Hollywood's Manliest Directors . No sissies here.

I voted for A League of Their Own. There are many other worthwhile entries on the list, but I want it to make it past at least the first round. If it doesn't, though, I will be brave. If that movie taught me anything, it's that there's no crying in baseball. That, and avoid the clap.

David Denby takes a look at the fractured narratives becoming more commonplace in film today.

The woman who introduced me to TWoP reflects on its sale.

Sometimes movies are great. Except for scenes that completely suck .

"Unafraid to answer the call when the clock strikes 'ass-kick' "? Doesn't get much better than this.

Actually, it's like comparing apples and . . . smaller apples

I just read this article in Newsweek by Devin Gordon. I can see where he's going with it, and I agree with his general point (TV's cool), but he's wrong. His argument ignores basic facts. I hate arguments like his. I dislike it that people write as though TV and film are comparable mediums but fail acknowledge what the similarities and differences are.

But let me first say that I agree up to a point. I agree that TV has abundant complex and exciting dramas available. I agree that TV seems to be more willing to push the envelope than film of late. I agree that the films are becoming more polarized in the sense that the middling drama is on the decline, although I fail to see what the problem with that is.

Mostly, though, I disagree. The apples and tubas comment is ridiculous hyperbole because TV and film are similar mediums that feed off and compliment each other. I watch more TV than most people I know, going so far as to tape one show so I can watch two in the time slot or tape shows for others and then mail the tape to them. I say these things as someone who loves TV. I also regularly watch a battery of movies on my TV, both on DVD and on cable. I'm not immune to the charms of any of these mediums.

The majority of the shows Gordon chooses to discuss (The Wire, Rescue Me, The Sopranos) are late night dramas on speciality channels. They have bigger budgets and shorter seasons than the average program, leaving the writers, who he claims are "king" in television, more room to maneuver. It also gives them more room to pursue other programs and feature films in a way that conventional television does not. By putting the shows on later at night, the networks airing them can get away with more in terms of sexual content, violence, and language.

You know what else those programs have? Smaller audiences. Most people still don't get specialty channels like HBO and F/X. They don't watch these glorious programs of which he speaks. He gives mild attention to ratings juggernaut American Idol, which Fox has brilliantly decided to air three nights this week. It's a televised karaoke contest, and it's nigh impossible to counter program.

But Gordon doesn't really want to talk about those kinds of shows. He doesn't want to talk about what sits atop the Nielsen's, which is a closer comparison to what makes the Top 10 in box office receipts, because I think he knows deep down that there is no basis of comparison.

Instead, he wants to talk about The Wire, which I have never seen. I understand that's it's really good, and I'd like to see it, but I have no idea when it's on or where. Ten to one most people reading this don't either. I'm not saying any of you wouldn't watch it either, but most of us don't have that option. If I could afford to get every channel my satellite service provider offered, I would. But I can't, and neither can most people. So we watch basic cable.

Consider an argument like this one: "For decades, if film was the Four Seasons, TV was a Motel 6. You worked in television for the money, or to reboot your career, or just to hang on. Now actors like Alec Baldwin, Steve Carell and Salma Hayek go from hit movies to network-TV gigs, and no one thinks they're nuts." Of course no one thinks they are nuts. Before they had hit TV shows, not a single actor you named was enjoying a successful movie career. The three of them had either fallen from the A-list or never appeared there to begin with. 2/3 of your argument regards career resurgences. 1/3 of it regards a man who's famous for making two very funny movies in the midst of a successful television career. I like all the people you are talking about, but it's not as though Meryl Streep is on your list. You would have made a better point if you talked about Helen Mirren in film and on Prime Suspect. Heck, she's been winning awards for both this season.

"Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco ("Crash") went straight from the best-picture Oscar to creating "The Black Donnellys" for NBC." Yeah, okay, and before their feature film success, they created Walker, Texas Ranger for CBS. Even here the comparison is faulty. Movies, for the most part, tell one story from beginning to end in a matter of hours. Television programs tell stories over weeks, months, and years. Crash had fixed beginning and end points. Maybe The Black Donnellys doesn't. Maybe, like its lead (Heroes) it tells a sequence that takes place over time. He's right in that you can do that with TV when you can't with film, but that in no way indicates that one medium is better than the other. It all depends on the story you are trying to tell. Gordon celebrates the big-budget premiere of Lost and ignores the way the story has circled round and round itself because the writers and producers clearly don't know how to keep drawing it out and keep it interesting. Supposedly they are back on track, but we're years into the thing.

Which is another problem Gordon fails to address. Even if you wait for the season to end and pick it up on DVD, TV shows ask you to dedicate years of your life to following their ups and downs, often long after they have passed their creative prime. Movies only ask for a couple of hours. Sure, there are sequels and franchises (and yes, I am excited about Spidey 3, and no, I'm not 12), but years can pass between installments, allowing you to pick up other movies in the meantime without any real competition between the two. If I want to remain devoted to Veronica Mars , then I'll be at home Tuesdays at 9 pm for 22 weeks a year. Movies aren't finicky that way.

And, yeah, there is something to going to see a movie in the theatre, to the experience, but I'd still argue that it has more to do with storytelling than anything. If you only want to talk about a guy for an evening, why would you bother with TV?

Finally, while writing a TV show does mean you are "freed from the need to sell tickets," it does not mean you don't "have to swell to a crowd-pleasing gridiron drive." Instead of once in two hours, you have to do it every week. Instead of aiming for a big rush over a single weekend (when most movies make the majority of their profit), you have to consistently provide millions of eyeballs to the advertisers that pay for your show. You slip up or fail to catch on? Chances are you are going to get cut. There's rarely a second chance for shows on DVD. Patient distributors that are willing to let the movie sit in theatres for months while word of mouth builds. TV doesn't given shows the same opportunity to linger. New shows that don't provide a given audience or old shows that stop providing what they once used to disappear.

"I still occasionally hear someone say that they don't watch television," [Denis] Leary says, "and I always tell them, 'Look, I don't care what book you're reading—put it down and watch these five shows, because you really, truly don't know what you're missing'." Sure, Denis, and I could think of five shows off the top of my head too that prove TV is an important and worthwhile medium. But how many people do you meet who tell you that they never go the movies? Never hit up Blockbuster for a DVD? Yeah, Gordon and Leary, TV is good. But it isn't better. If Shakespeare was around today, Ira, he still wouldn't be creating TV series. He'd be making movies. If he had wanted to tell longer stories over time, he would have written novels.

"See this face? My over-the-moon face."

YES!!! Yes, yes, yes! I can't attribute this small but highly important victory to anyone in particular, but I have just read a bit of news that is cause for jubilation: My beloved Veronica Mars isn't going anywhere! That's my little show that could!

Yay to not being cancelled! Yay to Gilmore Girls being your lead-in, as predicted by one Elfin April. The quality of that show may have gone down the crapper, but I will keep watching it just for you, baby. Just for you.

Now I can only hope, pray, and continuously lobby for a Canadian network to pick you up for simulcasting in your third season. A long shot, I know, but so were you, sister.

Very special thank go out to Emily, Sarah, Madison, Kelsa, and anyone else who signed that petition. Again, can't be sure if that noise made a difference, but your help made one to me. Oh, look at me getting soft in the wake of such glad tidings.

Ask not what Elfin April can do for you

I know, I know. You hit up this blog everyday, maybe several times a day, and you think to yourself, "I want to do something for April. She's always freely dispensing her smart and sassy film advice, and what do I do for her? I'd like to do something nice that she'd appreciate. As long as it doesn't cost too much. And doesn't take too long. But otherwise, totally."

Well, gentle reader, have I got a deal for you: something that takes about 2 minutes and costs you nothing. It's free, baby! So! Easy!

See that image there at right? Well, that's my favourite show. It's called Veronica Mars. It's the new Buffy, only sadly, it doesn't even have Buffy's ratings. And here's the problem: now that UPN and the WB are merging, well, every damn show is up in the air. Especially this one. So, help me save it. Sign this here petition. That's it. If you're a speedy typer, you can do it inside of a minute.

I'm not exactly banking on this (do online petitions ever make any difference?), but it's not like I ask a lot of you. It's the best damn show on television, and it's my favourite, and I just want to keep watching such a wonderful collection of fine actors spouting clever dialogue and solving twisty mysteries. So, do me this props.

And, if you are feeling especially generous with your time, you can devote an entire hour to checking it out Tuesdays at 9 pm on UPN. There's only two episodes left this season, so you might get a little confused. Couch Baron will hook you up. He's good like that.