Hamlet 2 (2008)

Brief: A failed actor turned high school drama teacher (Steve Coogan) learns that his school's drama program will be canceled, so he pens a semi-autobiographical musical sequel to Hamlet believing that the runaway success of the musical will save the program.

It's like this: if you can't see the humour in sequel to Hamlet in which a time-traveling Hamlet teams up with Jesus to stop all the death at the end of Shakespeare's great tragedy but takes time out for Jesus to arrive in the present and inspire musical numbers like, "Rock me, sexy Jesus," then this movie isn't for you. The entire third act is devoted to the opening performance of Hamlet 2. That's too bad for you, really, as Coogan continues to be a comic genius who apparently hasn't broken big over here (or so the AV Club would have me believe).

The talent pool varies in the rest of the cast from the always wonderful Catherine Keener as Brie, Coogan's bizarrely poorly thought out wife, to the sometimes strained performances of the newcomers that fill out Coogan's high school troupe (personal favourite: Arnie Pantoja as Vitamin J), to Elisabeth Shue and Amy Poehler duking it out for the title of Most Inspired Cameo.

Co-writer and director Andrew Fleming, who hilariously also co-wrote and directed The Craft, and co-writer Pam Brady have their work cut out for them in creating a movie that's exactly as awfulsome (tm the Vulture, I think) as its title musical. Fortunately, they mostly succeed in this point, although some of the running gags fall flat (one with a 12 year-old school paper theatre critic (Shea Pepe) that Coogan treats with utmost deference is inspired; another with a girl who suffers repeated head injuries, less so). Even so, it's cuckoo bananas that more people haven't gone to see it. B+

Pop Culture Round Up: September 20 - 26

I want you to know that I almost wrote "septembre."

I bet you were all excited about the boring, poorly watched Emmys, but this news was far more exciting come Monday morning. YES! Kung Fu Hustle rules!

Other, more exciting awards results.

A nice theory. I wonder what movies you would consider Monday surprises.

I swear, I've been reading about the 52 week season for the last three years, and it has yet to come to fruition.

This is ingenious! But does it work in Canada?

Can anything stop the runaway train of Mickey Rourke, future Oscar winner? The eighties did rule, though.

"But Dylan culture, especially Dylan bootleg culture, figures into the way we assess 'authorized' and 'unauthorized' work by other great artists such as Shakespeare and Nabokov." It does? Well, alright.

Hurray! I still want 13 to hurry up and leave the show, though.

I can't tell yet if this is going to be awesome, but somehow I doubt it.

Which one's your favourite? "Sally Draper's Cocktail Cheat Sheet" might be mine.

I think that might be a better Penn Badgely than even Penn Padgely does. Has anyone else watched the trailer for his new rugby movie and laughed?

I am now going to have to up yearly Entertainment Weekly print purchases to two because I have to have this cover in my home.

The two Sherlock Holmes movies continue to be the most exciting things around.

Traitor (2008)

Situation: FBI Agent Roy Clayton (Guy Pearce) tracks terrorist group Nathir to a police raid in Yemen and finds Sudanese-American Samir Horn (Don Cheadle) in the midst of it all. Clayton and his partner (Neal McDonough) can't get Samir to talk, and eventually Samir escapes with his new terrorist pal Omar (Saïd Taghmaoui) and becomes the group's demolition expert. As the FBI closes in, Samir reaches out to Carter (Jeff Daniels), his boss at another intelligence agency.

This movie would have packed one hell of a narrative punch if we didn't all know from every single advert we've seen that Samir was secretly in league with Carter. Almost nothing from the first act made it into any ads, which is too bad as it is pretty good. We can see that Samir is caring and compassionate, and Cheadle, in an intense and dedicated performance, rises above to make that powerful when put into action.

It's also nice to see Pearce out and about again, making character choices about how far to push his Southern accent and when. He does officious so very well. Combined with Hey! It's that Guy (tm Fametracker) in uniform McDonough, they make a rote good cop-bad cop pair seem like fun. When you add in the criminally underused Daniels (seriously, the man operates at a Jeff Bridges level. Someone needs to write him a Dude to call his own), it's an attractive package for audiences.

Everything that surrounds them is fairly run of the mill. Writer-director Jeffrey Nachmanoff doesn't put a lot of personal style into the direction, narrative, or dialogue, and the devout-Muslims-aren't-necessarily-terrorists "twist" doesn't feel as fresh it could. But he's got Cheadle, fantastic location porn, and an absolutely stunning lighting scheme (the last two courtesy of J. Michael Muro, no doubt). Seriously, it's beautiful, and it adds meaning to every shot. Well done. B

Pop Culture Round Up: September 13 - 19

I felt like I bookmarked a lot of stuff for you guys, but it turned out either to be a slow news week or busy work week for me. Take your pick.

Sad. Mimi Smartypants was a big fan and posted about it a lot over the years, but I've never picked up Infinite Jest. Maybe now I should.

Yes, funny, hurray: I have yet to watch this.

Articles like this remind me of the church I went to growing up. We never clapped after solos or anything of the sort. We clap more now (particularly the Christmas Eve service I start clapping for this kid who had only taken up the violin that fall, I believe, and got up there and performed three numbers), but I wonder sometimes if it's really better. Mind you, I've never applauded at funeral.

"A clever technique for creating drama? Or a contrived way to keep the pair from speaking, in an age in which everyone has a cell handy?" Contrivance! Especially in the scene just outlined!

Ha! 'Unwatchable' indeed.

But who else would do the accents and look askance when no one gets the right answer to an "easy" question? You know, besides me?

This might be good.

Holy crap! But will it be available in Canada?

I think it is going to take longer for DVD to die than anticipated because there's no real push for the medium to go under.

YES! I will enter early and often!

Burn After Reading (2008)

Story: Osborne Cox (John Malkovich) quits his job at the CIA. His wife Katie (Tilda Swinton) is having an affair with Harry (George Clooney) and plans to divorce Ozzie. Looking for a picture of his financial information, she burns a disc from his hard drive, which is misplaced at Hardbodies. It falls into the hands of two Hardbodies employees, Linda (Frances McDormand) and Chad (Brad Pitt), who try to blackmail Cox into paying for several cosmetic procedures for Linda in exchange for the disc.

I don't think I've told you anything here that happens after the first twenty minutes, which is about how long I spent waiting for this movie to start. Whatever this was supposed to be, I doubt weirdly off-putting with occasional funny bits" was the goal.

Seriously, I don't get what this was supposed to be. A lark? Doesn't seem like enough fun for that to be true. A satire, as CBC implied to me? Of what, I reply. I know that in the past I've said things along the lines of "it's not supposed to be anything," and that remains true for certain movies. But this isn't that kind of movie. Writing and directing brothers Joel and Ethan Coen go one step beyond this time (cue up "One Step Beyond" by Madness). It's just not enough of anything to be any more than mediocre.

I'm fairly certain you could build an entire movie around the deliberate way Malkovich pronounces "memoir," Clooney's delivery of "Well, hello!" and Pitt's dancing, and I wish that they had. The overlapping plot doesn't work the way it should, it takes too long to get to the Hardbodies characters, and, though we end with the always impeccable J.K. Simmons, there's no emotional pay out because there was never any emotional buy in. The only character that seems to garner any sympathy is Richard Jenkins as Ted, the Hardbodies manager with the best boo-boo kitty face in the industry, so naturally he's relegated to a minor role. The rest of them barely earn a shrug. Well, at least when it's funny, it's very funny indeed. B

Pop Culture Round Up: September 6-12

I think I will try to pretend that this will result is something truly amazing and not a reminder that the show might be a lot better if it were called 12.

"Indie film is dead! Again! Still! For real this time!" We'll see.

Oh, no wait, the Australian thinks so, too.

I totally rocked this quiz. I have been pronounced "Dylan McKay smooth."

"Memory, comprehension and problem-solving skills all improve in people who apply mental exercises used by actors." Yay! Bring on the elderly improv groups.

This might be brilliant.

I realize that I was pretty young when it came out and that I haven't seen in in years, but I thought Grumpy Old Men was funny because it was funny and appealing because it's nice to think that we'll still have friends and fun when we get older. Now thinking about getting older just makes me sad.

Great. Now can we do something about the dearth of great female characters in movies?

You know what? Good. Post secondary is too expensive to begin with, especially in the US.

Again, if I made a habit of linking to GFY, it'd fill this post every week, but what? Why haven't I heard about this Etta James biopic starting effing Beyonce sooner? Why is this happening?

I can't explain why, but this casting news is exciting!

Even if we are saddled with another Paul Haggis-mussed script, this trailer still looks totally bitchin'.

This story manages to be funny, sad, weird, and great simultaneously.

"I never said I was better than you, just smarter and classier. You're clearly a better athlete, and you have much better survival instincts."

As my criticism in crisis series seems to be never ending, I take a moment to consider why we still need film critics in my latest Culture article.

Over in my advice column, I tackle work issues, laundry issues, grammar issues, and dildo issues. What? They happen.

Pop Culture Round Up: August 30 - September 5

I know these are supposed to be "touchstones," but does anyone find this list a little meh? Incidentally, the word touchstone makes me think of Winona Ryder calling Ethan Hawke her touchstone in Reality Bites, which, in turn, makes me giggle because she's calling him that to her Psychic Friend.

Criticism in crisis continues: Christian Science Monitor worries over music critics losing their clout.

Why are people in the Guardian weirdly obsessed with product placement?

Why must they take our fun away from us so soon?

If for nothing else, check out the drawing of a brain walking a dog.

"These images turn The Red Shoes into what we might call a study of the psychopathology of ballet."

First Julia Child and now Roald Dahl? Excitement!

"It’s undeniably U2 in the very best way." Well, in that case.

Aw, he's a Food Network junkie, too!

When I think "particle accelerator," I think "exceptional grand cru."

Perhaps Lauren and Peter should consider the possibility that a lot of movies suck.

It is one of my favourite cameos.

I think I'd never see any movies if I stuck by the Bechdel Rule. Prey for Rock & Roll would make the cut.

Okay, so the new one kind of sucks, but it's still fun to read these reflections.

Definitely dead, apparently. Sorry, Sean!

I may have gotten a little goosebumpy watching this.

Not only did I notice that change during the The Women trailer, but, as a curly haired girl, I have wondered about that for years.

17 complaints? Are people in Britain really bored?

"We have practically no reason to believe that Ghostbusters 3 won't be the greatest movie of all time."

This post is kind of stupidly written, but who cares? Greatest crossover ever!

"We have never even thought about Mother Bass." Really? She's the one not-yet-seen character I most want to meet!

The Short Take: the white trash edition

Okay, that's a little mean.

Slums of Beverly Hills (1998)

After I watched The Savages and remembered that I had liked writer-director Tamara Jenkins' earlier picture, I thought I should watch it again to make sure. It wasn't as good as I remembered it, and I found myself kind of thrown by the young, thing Kevin Corrigan as Natasha Lyonne's neighbour/love interest. I did still like Lyonne and Marisa Tomei as her pregnant, drug-addled cousin, but there was a lot that didn't add up or go anywhere, e.g. an extended scene with David Krumholtz singing in his underwear. You know the family situation must be bad when, as 14 year old Vivian breaks up with her 18 year old drug dealing, Mason-obsessed boyfriend, I thought, "Dude, what are you doing? He has a car. He can take you away from these people!" Clearly not the message the movie intended. B-

Prey for Rock & Roll (2003)

I've been meaning to get around to watching this movie since I first watched Rocked with Gina Gershon about four years ago, and Zip finally sent me the DVD. So here we are. Again, not really what I was expecting based on the trailer. The trailer's all, "Hot, sexy rock!," and the movie's all, "Sad, but cool." I've got a bit of a soft spot for Lori Petty, so it was nice to see her again. As punk rock girl bands go, the music and the actors behind it were great. A lot of the plot involved, for some reason, the drummer's (Shelly Cole) brother (Marc Blucas) getting out of jail and why he was in jail and a similar thing happening, and it's suddenly all strum und drang, and you start wondering where all the hot, sexy rock went. The similar thing involves Ivan Martin, who looks like the unholy love child of Mark Ruffalo and Kevin Corrigan. Props to director Alex Steyermark for smashing to black. It's an affecting performance from Gershon, but the heavy subplots keep the movie from going forward. B