Oscar Wrap-Up (2007)

Five out of six appears to be my thing. I was pleased with my only upset, but I think my game was off last night. I caught a few on the fly (adapted screenplay, animated short, live action short, costume, foreign language), but I found myself struggling with some of the technical awards. When so many of the major categories were beyond obvious to call, it was odd that I couldn't find the pattern in the "minor" ones. Ah, well, the Academy isn't going to make a lick of sense for my sake.

As you well know, I was a little disappointed when Ellen got the gig this year. I have nothing against her. My loyalty to Jon Stewart simply far outweighs any positive sentiment. Only her white suit looked good, her open monologue was only so-so (I laughed but not at every joke), and she started to repeat her jokes that weren't that funny to begin with. Okay, this sounds overly negative, so I'll tell you that I think she did alright. Giving the script to Marty and getting Spielberg to take her pic with Clint were both great moves.

Let's be glad that Whitaker wrote something down this time instead of pausing, fumbling, and staring. Also, and I just thought of this, he played a real-life figure but didn't call attention to that person. I appreciate that, given the subject. I also liked that the other nominees, particularly Gosling and DiCaprio that I noticed, looked genuinely happy for the person who won. On rare occasions, the Oscars are a big love-in.

Let's also be glad that Mirren pointed out how awesome the actual Queen is and looked hot in the process. It was only right that Will Ferrel, Jack Black, and John C. Reilly all wanted to win awards, so they could take her home. I know I do, albeit in a friendly way. And I sincerely hope that someone does make a movie about a quadruple amputee that teaches gang bangers Hamlet because that would be hilarious.

I'd have to see a transcript to be sure, but I think Hudson avoided using the word "dream" in her speech. If she did, I didn't catch it. Also, Arkin had a prepared speech! Makes me think he must be a joy to be around, if only for that tiny glimpse of optimism.

Ugh, interpretive dancers. The stuff they did was kind of cool, but the whole thing weirded me out. Why was that happening? Minutes could have been shaved off if we didn't have to watch people turn roll themselves into penguins. Also, the sound effects singers scared me. It's a wildly impressive craft, though. I think I'd like to see them more often.

Speaking of music, mad props to Melissa Etheridge. Both her song and her speech got to me. Way to go, An Inconvenient Truth.

Other things I liked: the opening, particularly when Javier Navarrete started whistling his haunting seven note score, and it just sort of took over. Kate Winslet's mint dress. Mark Walhberg in Armani. Martin Scorsese getting teared up during Thelma Schoonmaker's speech. The possibility that Clint Eastwood is fluent in Italian. Ennio Morricone getting teared up during his speech, even if he did look beyond bored during the presentation and Celine's singing. Dreamgirls in smashing red dresses. Abigail Breslin's Easter basket dress, and Jaden Smith proving that he's already got his father's charisma. Ari Sandel being cute and giving a wonderful speech. Everyone winning for Pan's Labyrinth and thanking del Toro for his vision. Tom Cruise appearing sane and with good hair.

Things I didn't like: Hudson's jacket thingie and formal pockets. Seriously, de la Renta. The collors in Cameron Diaz's and Kirsten Dunst's dresses. The monstrosity that was Penelope Cruz's skirt. Eddie Murphy, just 'cause. The bow that ate Anne Hathaway's breasts. Ben Affleck's pissy attitude. The seriously short amount of screen time devoted to Cloons.

And now, a confession: Even though I said it would happen, even though I thought it would happen, I was so surprised and excited when they read Scorsese's name for director that I let out a rather loud gasp. How cute and sweet and funny was his speech? I admire the heck out of him, and, when he looked right at DiCaprio and said he was looking forward to 12, 15, or 20 more years of collaboration, I think it would take the steeliest of hearts not to feel something. You can't buy that brand of collegial spirit. When his picture was called as well, I thought I might burst my buttons. A great speech from Graham King as well. Besides, Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson, though they certainly appeared to have begun celebrating early, were delightful presenters for best picture. Do they normally let someone do it two years in a row? Especially when he is in the winning picture?

Personal party note: trying to decide if the best part occurred when, for a nanosecond, I was convinced that Sarah had put onions in her cupcakes (a vile, reprehensible act that turned out to be entirely my own doing), when I considered the possiblity that Philip Seymour Hoffman is part lion, or when we accidentally, momentarily convinced a fellow viewer that Catherine Deneuve and Ken Watanabe were a couple. That was a serious shock.