The Very Short Take

A challenge: to write no more than one paragraph plus a one sentence plot summary on each of the seven (7!) recently viewed titles that will follow.

Chaplin (1992)

Summary: British vaudeville perfomer Charlie Chaplin (Robert Downey, Jr.) moves to America, becomes film sensation, marries a bunch of different women (Milla Jovovich, Deborah Moore, Diane Lane, Moira Kelly), purports to have a "wild side."

I think that we supposed to think that he had a wild side because of his many ladies, but I found that bit hard to swallow since he married them all. Sure, if he had slept around, I would have agreed, but it hardly seems all that wild to divorce people who, say, fake pregnanices to trap you into marrying them. Downey Jr is fantastic as always and wonderfully likeable as the Tramp. Overall, kind of long and not always that interesting. Well, I liked Kevin Kline as Doug Fairbanks. B

And since I'm already on to Kline . . .

The Big Chill (1983)

Summary: Seven college friends (Kevin Kline, Glenn Close, Tom Berenger, Jeff Goldblum, William Hurt, Mary Kay Place, and JoBeth Williams) gather together for the weekend following the death of their friend Alex.

Fantastic soundtrack! Too bad the movie isn't very good at all. Everyone gets together to bitch and moan about how none of their lives are what they thought they would be 20 years after they graduated from college. Of course they're not. At least these people have the good sense to recognize that the fact that they can get together again after long separations and still feel this natural with each other is something special. Sure, the cast gives off a great feeling of lived-in intimacy, but the plot pushes those feelings so far beyond the bounds of sanity that I balked. Ah, well, still gives off enough warm fuzzies to be tolerable. B

Behind the Red Door (2002)

Summary: A dying man (Kiefer Sutherland) cons his sister (Kyra Sedgwick) into caring for him in his final days, while facing their violent past.

Stockard Channing's also along for the ride. You know, there are these movies where the performers outshine their material by far. This is one of those movies. It's not very good, although I'm always ready to throw myself in with the three leads. Too bad the pacing couldn't have been picked up to make the plot seem more interesting. C

Speaking of such movies . . .

It's All About Love (2003)

Summary: John (Joaquin Phoenix) flies into New York in order to finalize his divorce from famous figure skater Elena (Claire Danes), only to discover that her life may be in peril.

Once you've seen one movie with subplots about flying Ugandans and snow in July, you've seen 'em all. Even Sean Penn's teeny cameo was wasted. Simultaneously being about nothing and making no sense in a mean feat, but writer/director Thomas Vinterberg pulls it off. I think he was trying to say something about disconnection and loneliness, but the execution was hidden. D

Should I have a deep, burning desire to see Phoenix, Danes, and Penn on the screen together again, I think I'd rather watch their three scenes in . . .

U Turn (1997)

Summary: A drifter (Sean Penn) accidentally rolls into a crazy/backwards small town, his car is taken hostage by an insane mechanic (Billy Bob Thornton), and a husband (Nick Nolte) and wife (Jennifer Lopez) each hire him to kill the other.

I certainly hope Phoenix and Danes are happy with themselves. Their three scenes were the only things that kept me from going out, locating director Oliver Stone, and kicking him repeatedly. You, sir, are the most overrated director whose "art" I have ever had to suffer through. Get over yourself. Quick. The 30 seconds in the movie after Penn beats up Phoenix where Phoenix informs Danes that he "had to defend [her] honour, baby" and then Danes yells at Penn's retreating back, "YOU KILLED HIM!" are the only reasons I won't fail this movie. D-

Bottle Rocket (1997)

Summary: Once Anthony (Luke Wilson) is released from the mental institution, he, Dignan (Owen Wilson) and Bob (Robert Musgrave) form criminal gang, are forced to go on the lam, and eventually hook up with Mr. Henry (James Caan) and his superior gang.

You know, when I was first watching Wes Anderson's feature length debut, I found it more inspired but less assured than the work that followed. Thinking back on it, it's a lot funnier than I gave it credit for at the time, but I'd prefer watching something like Rushmore. I like Anderson much more once he's perfected creating this insular worlds that seem impossible but manage to be believable. B+

Pretty Persuasion (2005)

Summary: 15 year-old Kimberly Joyce (Evan Rachel Wood) brings chaos to her high school and creates a media frenzy when she and two friends (Elizabeth Harnois, Adi Schnall) accuse their English and drama teacher (Ron Livingston) of sexual assault.

By far the best of the bunch. Wood continues to prove herself as one of the best actresses ever, delightful here as a manipulative teenaged hellion, and she inspires great work in everyone who surrounds her. It's too bad they pushed it too far at the end. B+