Predators (2010)

I'm not sure I can discuss this movie at all without discussing it in its entirety, so SPOILERS ABOUND.

You had to figure that there would be a point to Topher Grace's character because he's just so pointless for so long, but, as I was lulled into his pointlessness until shortly before the reveal, I was actually chilled by it. Well played, movie/Grace. Of course, I strangely found it a relief because he was the worst doctor ever. Honestly. I kept being like, "Do you want to offer any of these guys some medical care? No?" Even when he himself is bleeding, he does not suggest bandaging the wound. I survived the Predator Preserve and all I got was this lousy gangrene!

Here's something I need explained to me: movie characters who have nothing to live for have the greatest will to live. Survival instinct and military training would only take you so far, wouldn't they?* Maybe I wouldn't know because I've never been in a life or death situation, but, for the love of peace did I not understand what was motivating Royce (Adrien Brody). We're told he's a mercenary, and he uses Hemingway to deflect/illuminate the idea that he just might really love the hunt/killing people. But if that's all you've got in your life (no family, no friends, no name until the very end), wouldn't you love the Predator Preserve? Wouldn't you be really excited to be there and get to do what you love all the time? The Predators themselves don't seem to be hunting for fun or spoil (we only see one collect the traditional head/spine trophy despite multiple kills) but to hone their skills. Maybe the Predators didn't factor in the idea that getting kidnapped and dropped on some weird jungle planet doesn't bring out your best game. They should include little guide books with the parachutes: Congratulations! You've been selected for Predator Planet, a boundless game preserve on which you will almost certainly die!

The movie itself is pretty much what you'd expect from the genre: sketchily drawn ensemble cast, one liners, heavy on action, and short on plot. From the shocking opening to the oppressively heavy rain forest, DP Gyula Pados' work is of a far higher calibre than the merely competent work you'd normally see. Aside from that and the usual, there's really only Louis Ozawa Changchien as a member of the Yakuza to pay attention to. As soon as it was made clear he was Yakuza, I inwardly cheered, but then I started to worry that I was reverse Othering by fetishizing the Other (Yakuza, ninjas, samurai) instead of dealing with any negative feelings I may have about the Other, and it is a strange day indeed when a movie with no deep thoughts of its own makes you confront your own potential racism. C-

*It's sort of the opposite of Buffy at the end of Season Two when Angelus is all, "Now that's everything, huh? No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take all that away and what's left?" and goes in for the killing blow, but she stops it and says me, "Me." Her will to live is greater than the traditional things one would rely on to sustain it because her will to live is directly tied into the fate of the world. Things keep coming back to Buffy lately, but it was a really good show.

The Short Take: Neglect 2009 - Part II

Turned on light. Ordered dinner. Back to typing. Discovered that I already reviewed some of these stubs. Hurrah!

The Boys Are Back (2009)

It's equal parts brave and stupid to write a book about how you pretty much almost killed your kids after your wife died, yet you give little evidence that you've truly redressed. Don't get me wrong, Clive Owen doesn't actually endanger children's lives. It just takes him a while to figure out how to be the parent to two kids on his own. And then he does. The end. B-

An Education (2009)

Jenny (Carey Mulligan) is repeatedly presented as whip smart, but she's so ridiculously naïve, so willfully ignorant of the idea that there could be more skeletons in David's (Peter Sarsgaard) closet that you're practically glad she goes through what she does. Girl needed a good shaking to be honest. Screen adapter Nick Hornby, director Lone Scherfig, and Sarsgaard do what they can to find a little sympathy for Peter. Paul Englishby's score starts out strong in the opening credits (in fact, the opening credits are actually some of the movie's strongest work) but never lives up to its promise. At least Rosamund Pike makes for a delightfully dizzy dame. B+

Julie & Julia (2009)

By now everyone and their brother has told you that the Julia (Meryl Streep) parts are excellent and Julie (Amy Adams) comes across pretty poorly by comparison. I'll say no more except that I like Adams and only wish she'd be a bit more discerning with her script choices. On the other hand, maybe this is all she can get. Also, Streep, Stanley Tucci, and Jane Lynch together is heavenly. C

Adam (2009)

Movie is cute, Hugh Dancy is particularly good, having Rose Byrne essentially write "This is my evil plan!" in giant letters in her day planner in order to create conflict is moronic. C+

Ninja Assassin (2009)

Amazing: a movie that stars Rain as a ninja assassin, and nothing happens. Someone may claim that there is a plot, but that person is wrong. There are flashbacks, and there are ninja assassinations. That is it. C

Food arrived! Will be back after eating break.

Zombieland (2009)

My review of Zombieland went live today over on (Cult)ure as part of Horror Week. Because it's a review and not whatever it is that I do here (or don't do here, given how little I've posted in the last year), there are things I left out. Nitpicky things, naturally; some spoilery things, and you know how spoiler adverse I am. But since that's the review and this is the blog, and since the movie came out almost a month ago, let's discuss those things here, shall we? Consider this the annotated review.

• Eventually they meet up with two resourceful sisters, Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin.

Stone and Breslin are both winning as a pair of grifters, although the fact that they were grifters was so obvious from the word "go" that I was a little surprised at how stupid Eisenberg and Harrelson would have to be to fall for it. Also, because Stone is hot and approximately Eisenberg's character's age, there's a romantic interest there. Harrelson's character alternatively encourages Eisenberg or obliviously cockblocks, which is funny either way. I found it hard to believe, however, that a man who has obviously been alone and celibate for several months wouldn't even notice an attractive, prospective partner. Not that I wanted to watch an Eisenberg-Stone-Harrelson love triangle or to see Harrelson get creepy on Stone, but still, a throwaway "I'd hit it" is all I ask in the name of realism. Yes, zombies = not real, but the best of these movies put believable characters in extraordinary circumstances.

• Though the narration is oppressive early in the film -- when Eisenberg is the only character on screen
  

By "oppressive," I mean damn near omnipresent. In the PC round up I just published this morning (again, whoops), I link to an AV Q&A entirely because of Steven Heisler's answer. The one cliché he would do away with? "Almost all narrators or voiceovers in films." Ah, a kindred. When you only have one character, do you really need a non-stop monologue to go with him? Do you think viewers are incapable of interpreting what they see? I recommend you watch the first seven minutes of season four of Supernatural, which were nearly dialogue free, entertaining, and even suspenseful.

• Eisenberg's performance consists largely of his best Michael Cera impersonation.

I feel kind of bad for Eisenberg as he's older than Cera and quite possibly invented that particular comic delivery (props Madison for pinpointing who Eisenberg reminded me of), and, while there is a small novelty of seeing someone other than Cera do it, it's started to wear thin for even him. Hope he finds some other hook.

• Harrelson makes a delightfully badass roughneck.

He's the ninja version of a roughneck. It's completely silly, but it also suggests that would make an excellent action hero in the John McClane mold (more ordinary guy than super agent).

• The movie derives a surprising amount of mileage from [Harrelson's] ingenious killing techniques.

What the movie does not do is explain why each killing implement is abandoned as soon as it is used. It's always distracting in movies and on TV shows when someone uses a weapon and promptly tosses it while running away since that all but guarantees that the weapon will be needed again. Obviously that's not the case here (zombies stay dead), but it's still distracting. It could be that the zombie blood will infect Harrelson, but that's never made clear enough to know the reasoning for certain.

• It's not the performances, however, that make the movie so good.

I specifically wrote this line because my editor initially added a line about how the performance made this movie good despite the thin plot. While he was right that the initial draft needed rewriting, he was wrong about that point. The performances are good -- the movie overall is well cast -- but that's not why it's so laugh out loud funny.

• It's the off-beat "rules" Eisenberg's invented for survival and particularly the movie's illustration of said rules.

No, seriously. Not only is the soccer mom running from little girl zombies, they're little girl zombies dressed as princesses. That shit is priceless. And, as you can see, unrelated to the performances of the main players. It's all about direction (including set and art direction) and writing here.

• First time feature director Ruben Fleischer owes a debt to Shaun of the Dead (which he sort of acknowledges)

Which he also sort of makes fun of in having Eisenberg explain not to be stingy with bullets (the double tap) by cracking that it's not a cricket bat. They had to improvise!

Nitpicky as I am, I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. It's funny as all get out, and, though I am not good with horror, I do love a good dose of GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE! B+

Later Bale

Batman Begins (2005)

Premise: After his parents' murders, Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) travels to the ends of the earth to understand the criminal mind. In Northern China, Wayne is released from prison by Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson) and Ra's Al Ghul (Ken Watanabe), who train him and teach him to channel his energies. Later, Wayne returns to Gotham to fight injustice and restore the city.

Or, to quote whomever at IMDB, "The story of how Bruce Wayne became what he was destined to be, Batman."

Quite possibly, for the first time ever, I am more giddy about a movie after I've seen it than I was in anticipating it. I know that sounds bizarre, but you'll see what I mean.

After about a year of anticipation, it's finally here. The movie that is supposed to reinvigorate the franchise after a slow and painful death. The movie that is to provide a shot of imagination that had only existed with the delightful Tim Burton at the helm.

Oh, what to say, what to say. I joyously pronounce this fifth installment the best of them all. The best!

With Christopher Nolan, master of tension, co-writing and directing, I was both eager and anxious. Eager because I know how expertly Nolan can pace a movie, how telling his shots can be, how provocative every frame of his work is. Anxious because I was wary of him possibly selling out all those things and more with a bigger budget at his disposal. Also, how would a pitch perfect thriller director handle an action movie/comic book adaptation?

My anxiety was completely quieted in the first act. Nolan is a force to be reckoned with, Hollywood. His Batman was as sleek and stylish as a matinee idol but with the polish and grace of a true box office star. Nolan's interpretation of the story held true to the Bob Kane original with the kind of embellishments that demonstrated his respect for the subject. Nolan and David S. Goyer's (co-writer) Batman didn't just pay lip service to his chilling past, he embodied it. They had my chin trembling (take that, Claire!) on at least three separate occasions in the first twenty minutes.

Also, the story throws its familiarity out the window by presenting as many as three timelines simultaneously. Even though a lot of the in-between of Wayne's life (i.e. between the murders and Batman) is new for this version, I really felt like it explained a lot. Wayne is too literal (occasionally with hilarious results)! Of course he's a ninja! And of course that other's guy's not.

And to my especial delight Wayne's enemies were not necessarily the same as Batman's. I truly appreciated watching him fight battles on all sides.

The thanks goes, in large part, to the brilliantly cast Bale, using two accents of instead of his usual completely new one. I recently added Bale to my list of actors who just act the hell out of everything they're in, and he has once again proven no exception. Bale powerfully played the way Wayne's patrician upbringing and totally disillusionment in adulthood would result in his self-tortured soul. Wayne is a man searching for the meaning he lost at so young an age and is completely unable to accept it until he can find it in himself, until he can find his own forgiveness. Only Bale's quiet and rage fuelled performance could lead me to all these conclusions.


Neeson and Bale

Of course, there are no slackers in the supporting cast, and you're often distracted by spotting other Nolan alums. Neeson's one goal is to steal every scene he's in, turning in a deviously paternal performance. Michael Caine as the new Alfred is never short of a one-liner, a teary-eyed remembrance, or a harsh glare exactly when Wayne needs them. Gary Oldman proves once again that he is not only the man of a thousand faces but also a thousand characters as the not-quiet-yet Commissioner Gordon. Cillian Murphy rocks his mad scientist villain, his American accent, and he rocked his glasses hardest of all. Morgan Freeman has fun as Lucius Fox, as Wayne Enterprises' answer to Q. Tom Wilkinson works it as an improbably cast Italian Mafioso. Rutger Hauer proves wonderfully underhanded, if none too bright, as Earle, the CEO of Wayne Enterprises.

My only regret is the tacked-on romantic subplot with the unfortunate Katie Holmes. Although I despise that show that launched her, she has done some work that I have enjoyed. Here, however, she exists solely to annoy me. A more credible actress could have made this tedious plot contrivance work to her advantage, but all Holmes did was fail to act appropriately frightened.

Clocking in at 141 mins, I can honestly tell you that it didn't feel anywhere near that long. I knew that it had to be, but I still felt like I could have kept watching.

As another plus, I have always believed that Gotham more aesthetically resembled Chicago than the Big Apple it is more frequently likened to. I found it immensely gratifying that some of the film was shot on location in Chicago and none of it in New York.

Nolan and Bale have captivated me separately more than once. Together, they should prove an unbeatable combination.

I know that you are sitting here waiting for my seemingly inevitable A+. But you are mistaken, gentle reader. And that's where my giddiness comes in. That's why I'm bouncing in my chair, rubbing my hands together with glee. That's why I was concerned that a day later, I still shouldn't be writing this review because I haven't quite absorbed the whole thing. All the pieces, you see, were there, but it still hasn't come together. It's forced me to anticipate a sequel, if you can imagine, that will be better than the first. So, for now, A.